That's Right, Don't Mess

Remember the guy back in April that posted an astronomical ERA and could barely make it through the third inning in most of his starts? The Old David Wells. Now, here’s a guy who battles to make every start a gem, smiles and jokes around in the dugout, and is now turning into our most reliable pitcher in the rotation. That’s the New David Wells.

After a slice of cake in the clubhouse, Wells came out on the Fenway mound and completely dominated the Orioles. Erase two doubles in the fifth inning by Mora and Tejada, and this guy’s got a complete game shutout. Instead, he goes nine strong, dominates with that overhand curve that starts at an altitude higher than Mount Everest and ends up in the dirt, and spits in the Orioles faces. Not literally, but figuratively. Tack on some major power from good ole Johnny Olerud, a nice Damon two ribbie rip, and the 5-1 win makes that Off Track Bedding commercial seem just a little less annoying.

One other thing I want to bring up, and that’s Manny’s hitting. The Man isn’t hitting his usual hanging curves over the Monster, just grounding out to second. He’s fouling off ordinary 88 mph fastballs into the seats, instead of lining them in the gap for doubles like he did last year. Manny isn’t smiling nearly as much, and just flat out doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself. You’re probably thinking: no shit, you just noticed this stupid act of his? But really, not only is he making dumb mistakes on the field and causing trouble in the front office, but his batting seems to have hit a curve. Or is it just Manny Being Manny, whatever that means.

And this from Surviving Grady, whom I also got that hilarious picture from: Sean McAdam told a great story from the Red Sox clubhouse this morning. Members of the group Green Day were at Fenway taking a tour on Friday. They were hanging out with Johnny Damon when Kevin Millar found out who they were and wanted to go meet them. Being a huge country music guy, Millar knew nothing about Green Day. So he consulted resident music expert Bronson Arroyo. Bronson tutored him quickly, even teaching Millar a quick verse of a song. Millar goes over to the Green Day guys, puts his arm around one of them, and proceeds to belt out the verse Arroyo taught him, blabbering about how it was one of his favorite songs. Millar received some strange looks, then told the guys he had to go take BP. The song was Wonderwall by Oasis! Bronson punk'd him!