Nightmare For The Nation

A collapse worth shrugging off and pretending never happened. The bullpen imploding worse than Mount Vesuvius. Clement giving up hit after hit after hit in a game that easily should have been his. I mean, at least Renteria is putting up outstanding numbers, and we are all confident that he’s the guy that will eventually carry this team. And at least Kevin Millar is on a roll, hitting home run after home run and playing outstanding defense. And at least Mark Bellhorn doesn’t look COMPLETELY lost at the plate. I will now slowly remove the gun from my head.

David Wells on the shelf. Just what we need. You look at Boomer’s diameter and already know he’s a slow recovery, but now Gammons and Company are saying he might be out for over a month. There’s no way this team would actually stay healthy for an entire month, that’s an unreachable possibility. We sign this guy for consistency, knowing he’ll keep us in the game, to always control the strike zone, and most of all, give us an average to quality start every time around. With our offense, I’ll take that. But our bullpen is cow dung. And now Wells is hurt for longer than expected.

Our number one and two starters: gone. Now, our ace is a career .500 pitcher who just last night gave up 12 (count em, 12) hits in less than five innings. Splenderific. Theo says the bruise on his ankle has nothing to do with his previous ankle injury, and the team doctors are claiming they caught this injury really early before anything worse happened. What’s that supposed to mean, that if they had discovered this two weeks from now, he’d be on the shelf even longer? We need these guys so the Sox don’t find themselves eight games back of first in mid-May. Our ace, hero and team leader is injured again.

You knew it had to happen sometime. We’re finally back to panic mode in Red Sox Nation.