Friday, March 25, 2005

Press Box Insanity

I recently asked some baseball personalities their take on how the Red Sox will do in 2005. Here’s just a few of their thoughts:

Tim McCarver: Well, the Yankees are always right there. When you have a division this loaded, and let’s say Keith Foulke isn’t extraordinary Foulke, well, happening is may not. Torre and the Yankees will get it done, boys. Bob Gibson, what a player…great guy too.

Jeff Brantley: Time to closely analyze the situation. You’ve got bases loaded, 1-2 count on Renteria, there are close to (throws arm up) I don’t know, 8 to 1 odds he throws a changeup. Do you honestly think he’s going to come through in this situation? (shakes head)

Bill Simmons: So, you had this great team, the Red Sox. Great team and all, but I’m not buying it in 2005. I can’t picture the Sox repeating, bottom line, it doesn’t happen. It’ll be kind of boring. I feel very strongly about this. You couldn’t make this stuff up. By the way, I’m drunk again.

Bob Ryan: October 27, 2004. Lunar eclipse. Keith Foulke steps onto the rubber and gives up a single. There’s a problem right from the beginning. Then, he throws a ball to Edmonds. Never, EVER a good thing. They even find Theo Epstein pacing around in the clubhouse. It’s similar to the Yankees…wanting, waiting, plotting for 2005. The Yanks take it. End of the movie, thanks for coming. He was amazing, with a capital A. Anyone who disagrees is completely and utterly insane.

Mike Lupica: I’m trying straight to the point here. I mean, you look at a team, by September, that’s played in plenty of big games. Too many to count, in fact. They never talk about those long stretches. That’s always eaten at me. In my opinion, there’s no question about it, the Red Sox repeat.

Joe Buck: For Budweiser, brewed fresh and cold every day, IT’S GAME TIME!

Bob Costas: You see, nobody had any clue the Red Sox were that unbelievably great in 2004. Nobody. Amazing. Truly amazing.

Rob Dibble: I’m going to go on a rant now because I’m supposed to be a tough guy and it’s the only way I can keep my job. Last years World Series win: a fluke. Curt Schilling’s bloody ankle: totally fake. The Red Sox not only didn’t deserve to win the World Series last year, their entire franchise should be beaten to death like a Cuban warlord. Just end the insanity.......hey, Dana can you grab me a beer?


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