Destination: Dynasty

Where Has The Season Gone?

2005-10-02T20:28:00.000-04:00

Bright sides of accepting the wild card and not having to play a one game playoff:

- Being able to pitch Clement on full rest on Tuesday instead of Wells on short rest or possibly Arroyo.
- Having an off day to travel, get settled, have team meetings and prepare
- The fatigue factor of flying to New York for one game, then back to Chicago only if we win
- Playing the less dangerous White Sox in a shorter flight than going from Boston to LA like the Yankees

To sum it up, the wild card isn’t nearly as gratifying as winning the division and dethroning the Yankees, but I think we did a little of that last postseason. Our goal now is to continue the trend of wild card tradition over the last few years, repeat, and hopefully get a “second greatest Red Sox team ever assembled” toast from Schilling. Watching the guys pour champagne in the locker room brought back some great memories, and I have a good feeling this won’t be the last time in October.

The main reason why I’m confident in this years team- there is not one single clear cut team better than everyone else in either league. No team really sticks out as the fearsome bunch that has a loaded offense, amazing staff and nasty bullpen. The great thing about this years playoffs is the parity and how no team will be completely favored over the other. Would it surprise me if the Padres-Cardinals series goes to five games? Not at all. We could be seeing the majority of these series going the distance.

Today, the Red Sox got the job done with homeruns from Billy Mueller and another colossal shot from Manuel Aristides, along with Dougy chipping in with a three run dinger when the game was already put to sleep. The only players missing from that Yankee lineup late in the game were Clay Bellinger, Mike Figga and Homer Bush. Schilling held the fort strong with only one earned in six innings, as the Red Sox finished the season with the exact same record as the Yankees. I still consider us Co-American League East Champs, but whatever.

The bottom line? The playoffs will soon be with us. Constant analysis and second-guessing of every managerial move. Late night finishes and dramatic walk offs that could save seasons. Series going the distance and the real players stepping up in the spotlight. When the leaves start to change and the temperature drops, I’m only thinking about one thing: the big playoff game that night. Let’s hope and pray this Red Sox team can stay alive for as long as possible and bring us to the promised land once again. Nothing would make me happier than rubbing it in the Yankees faces once again. Believe!

And now some quick final regular season grades:

Damon-: A Set the table all year, and is the perfect fit for this dynamic lineup behind him.
Renteria: C- Struggled in big situations this season, and made way too many errors at short.
Ortiz: A+ The MVP of baseball is the number one reason we’re in the playoffs.
Ramirez: A- More outstanding power numbers for Ramirez- an A if not for off-the-field problems.
Nixon: B Another stellar year for Nixon both offensively and defensively.
Varitek: B+ Started off huge in April and May, then dipped, but still is the Captain.
Millar: D Worst season for Millar in a Red Sox uniform, probably won’t be here next season.
Mueller: B Flirted with .300 for a while and played tremendous defense at third- always hustling.
Graffanino: B Been a savior for us at second base after the dismantled Bellhorn left town.
Olerud: B+ Over .300 for most of the season in limited time, outstanding defensive player.
Mirabelli: B- Always a solid backup catcher, and shows power at times.
Bellhorn: D- Formally one of my favorite players constantly struck out and failed to deliver.
Cora: B Brings a spark to the lineup with his glove and bat, does all the little things to win.
Kapler: C Great clubhouse guy and a solid hitter, but was inconsistent at times and got hurt.

Wakefield: A- Completely carried this pitching rotation in the second half with great numbers.
Wells: B Wells won a lot of games this year, ERA too high but pitches well in big games (Friday).
Schilling: C Pretty much sacrificed this season for last year, and I think we’re fine with that.
Clement: B- Started off 10-2, but began to crumble in the second half and is prone to being hammered.
Arroyo: C+ Way too inconsistent for my liking, but always shows potential to be an All-Star.
Timlin: A He may have trouble with inherited runners, but posted the best season of his career.
Myers: A- Always stopped the big lefty late in the game.
Foulke: F Struggled during his time as closer and turned out to be a negative factor this year.
Embree: F Knocked around whenever he took the hill and continued that trend with the Yankees.
Papelbon: A- Has showed signs of being a future stud with a live fastball and curve.
Bradford: B- Done the job pretty well since coming here…been to the postseason before.
Gonzalez: B- Perfect mop up guy, and did OK in his few starts.

Francona: A- With all the changes to this roster, Francona kept the team happy and winning.

Bye Bye Division Championship

2005-10-01T19:25:00.000-04:00

The 2005 American League East Champions? The New York Yankees.

Sadly, the Red Sox have faltered behind the ‘stripes once again, finishing in second place and continuing this disturbing trend in the divisions history. The eighth straight division title was made even more disturbing watching the Yankees celebrate in the center of the Fenway diamond. Torre crying and hugging his team. Sheffield pumping his chest and A-Rod slapping the ball out of Tino’s hand for a nice keepsake. But you have to give this team credit, as much as I despise the ground they walk on. People, including me, wrote off this team numerous times during the season, and yet they battle through the tough times with a little help from two journeymen and an offense that never stopped truckin’.

The game was not much of a contest, and was probably the most painful and miserable I’ve been all season watching the Red Sox. With every single second that ticked, the Yankees were getting closer and closer to winning the division once again. They made this perfectly clear with a three run first inning that quieted the crowd and caused Ben Affleck to have a short seizure near the Sox dugout. Manny countered with a big blast of his own, and my confident rose once again. It’s just one crappy inning for Wake, we’ll be fine.

Not so much. The Yankees made Manny’s homer irrelevant with two runs in the top of the second and later with Matsui and A-Rod homeruns. Wakefield’s knuckleball was completely flat that even when the Yankees recorded outs, they still creamed the ball. You can tell by the second inning whether Wakefield has his A stuff, and today it was pretty obvious it wasn’t there. He’s been great for us this season, so we’ll let this one slide. Or at least I’ll try.

There is some excellent news out of Cleveland, and that is the continuing slide of the Indians, as they lose again to the ChiSox 4-3 in a nail biter. This means that the Red Sox will be playing baseball past tomorrow no matter what happens. A Red Sox win tomorrow or an Indians loss means we take the wild card and ride that streak of four consecutive World Series champions being Wild Card winners. A Red Sox loss and a Cleveland win means there will be a one game playoff at Fenway on Monday night to decide who goes to the playoffs and who goes home. I imagine the Yankees will rest Mussina and pitch Jaret Wright tomorrow along with a group of subs, maybe Bellhorn, so we should be able to clinch a playoff berth. Let’s hope.

If the Red Sox do win or the Tribe falls, the Red Sox would play the White Sox in the first round. Tell you the truth, I’m ecstatic about this development. I would much, MUCH rather play the White Sox than the Angels in the first round. Sure the home field advantage would be nice, but the White Sox scare me about as much as Alan Embree. They do have the big basher in the middle of the lineup in Paul Konerko, but Konerko is no Sheffield, A-Rod or Vlad. The rest of their lineup is hitting about .270 as a group and really pose no threat. The only worry is the speed and defense, but you saw during their near choke job that that plan can go up in flames quickly.

The pitching of Chicago? Bah. If I was typing this in June, Buehrle and Garland would have scared me to death, but now Garland seems average and Buehrle has no playoff experience. They also have our personal boxing dummy Jose Contreras who is red hot but is Jose Contreras. The bullpen? Politte is nasty, Jenks throws in the high 90’s and Hermanson’s had a good year, but those guys are nothing compared to facing a Rivera or K-Rod.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The division would have been nice, yes, but the wild card isn’t a bad secondary option. Let’s just win tomorrow and make the playoffs. Just win tomorrow.

One Step Closer

2005-09-30T23:22:00.000-04:00

Precise and timely moves from the manager. Clutch hitting from Mr. Clutch and Manny not being Manny in left field. Varitek hitting his first home run in almost a century. Timlin and Myers shutting the door late in the game. Just the ingredients for a big time victory in the first game of the biggest regular season series known to man. And of course, there’s Boomah, who did enough to win number 15.

The Red Sox really deserved this win. They pulled it out in front of the raucous home crowd in practically a playoff game, riding on emotion and the intensity that this rivalry brings every single time the players step on the field. The Yanks and Sox make up the single greatest rivalry in the history of sports, and it may be at an all-time high right now. Well maybe the Tek-Slappy fight or last years ALCS, but tonight seemed really special down in the Fens. And you know what makes it even better? A big fat W.

With the Yankees leading 1-0, they had their big opportunity to pounce on David Wells. Posada struck out in a desperation at-bat with the bases loaded, Sierra flied out, and the rest was pretty much butter for Wells. As for the Sox offense, it was MVPapi starting it off in the first with an RBI single, and accepting a key to the city as he rounded first base. The guy is already a legend. And yes, I’m saying this more over the course of his career than just a first inning single. It’s late.

Then Cap’n Tek launches a pitch to deep center, and Wang implodes to make the score 5-1 Sox. A bit of a scare following a two run shot from Jeter, but genius bullpen management by Francona put the nail in the coffin and Timlin ended a major Sox victory. Put this one in the books as the biggest win of the season. Folks, the AL East is tied between the Red Sox and Yankees with two games to play. Cleveland also loses to Chicago in 13 innings.

This is what baseball’s all about. Sickly entertaining pennant races like this. This is why the last week in baseball and the playoffs can be matched by no other sport. Watching Tim Wakefield pitch against RandyJohnson tomorrow with the season on the line will be a sight I’ll never forget.

And please Timmy, let that knuckler dance.

Season Saver

2005-09-29T23:18:00.000-04:00

Seriously, where do I begin?

Those are the types of wins that make your season. In this case, it saved our season, gave us the burst of momentum we need for this Yankees series and potentially clinches the MVP for Ortiz. I don’t care if the Sox don’t make the playoffs, A-Rod hits all of his home runs up by 8 runs and Ortiz constantly delivers in the clutch like no hitter I’ve ever witnessed. The guy is simply phenomenal, and I haven’t thought that strongly about a single player since Pedro in his glory days. Right now, I feel so completely energized I could pull a Tom Cruise and start jumping on my couch. This is playoff baseball.

You could see the Sox inching closer to exploding. They were taking little baby steps, gradually building momentum and getting ready to pounce like Papi on a 2-0 fastball. The stage was set for a season-making win. On a night where the bullpen finally came through, and David Ortiz has a chance to win the game in the ninth, the stars were finally aligned. Our soldiers are still alive.

There were numerous times the Sox could have folded and ended their season tonight. How many times did they smoke line drive shots to the outfield that were caught? The Jays defense was unbelievable. Edgar smoked one that should’ve hit the Monster but was robbed by Gross (great last name, for real), then another picked by Hinske. Tek continues to get screwed over by web gems, and Trot hammered the ball to left that was caught by Wells. If Vernon Wells isn’t in the MVP discussion by July next season, I’ll be stunned.

But they didn’t turn their backs, didn’t hang their heads, but instead showed their real faith. Down 4-1 with Clement reeling, Manny provided the energy shake with the two run job, simply a piece of artwork watching that swing. The place was rockin and rollin with every single Papi at-bat. The MVP chants blaring loudly, the crowd on its feet, hoping, praying for more magic.

And with one swing of the bat- tie ball game. Believing is the key to success.

Actually, you could have a valid case for Jon Papelbon being the MVP of this game. The guy looked like a 13-year veteran on the mound. He was completely composed, throwing gas by hitter after hitter, keeping the Sox in the game- hell, if a nuclear bomb drops on Landsdowne, the guy wouldn’t be rattled. Just seeing him on the mound gets me giddy. He is the Kid. As I was watching the game, I wrote on my hand in pen PAPELBON for this article. I wanted to mention him even if the Sox lost. True story.

If they lose that game, the season is practically over. One win for the Yankees and they’re pouring champagne right on the Fenway diamond, with A-Rod and Jeter connecting purple lips and Bernie drowning in the bubbly. Now, both teams have momentum in what surely will be the biggest regular season series of our lifetimes. And, wouldn’t you know it, I’ll miss Friday nights game. Life sucks.

I’m still shaking as I type this sentence. Boomah stuffs it in the Yankees faces tomorrow night.

Not Getting It Done

2005-09-28T23:16:00.000-04:00

It’s discouraging to let such a perfect opportunity slip away. An opportunity so large that this may be the game looked back on, causing Sox fans to shake their heads in disgust and wonder how 2005 got away. Last night, if the Red Sox just hold on to leads of 3-0 and 5-2, they’re sitting pretty in first place in the East with a one game lead. And I contemplate we all know how colossal one game is in the standings with only five to play. While the Yankees were being pounded and the Indians surprised, the Red Sox simply could not execute an easy game plan- win.

You can blame the loss on many things. The bullpen might be the correct way to go. Chad Harville and Craig Hansen pitching in their situations can come into question. Chad Bradford being used to face four batters, while Myers only faced one in an already thin bullpen. Where is Delcarmen, or does Tito know he is completely ineffective? Is Papelbon already way over his season limit? All of these questions are answered in the game thread from yesterday, so go ahead and check it out. I’m just here to point out the obvious in saying that this Red Sox bullpen will be the one and only factor that will A) keep the Sox out of the playoffs or B) knock them out of the playoffs early. Maybe Theo is to blame.

In the first game of the doubleheader, Mr. Red Sock Tim Wakefield proved once again that he is the most reliable pitcher on our staff. He is surely the ace, a knuckleballer that we have seen hammered and failed at during his long stint with Boston. Wakefield has been nothing short of a saint for the Sox since the All-Star Break. Actually, we’d probably be two or three games back without him. But having a knuckleballer as the ace of a staff heading into the playoffs doesn’t make me jump up and down. Unless it’s Hoyt Wilhelm.

Most likely, the Sox and Yanks will be tied heading into the weekend series. This is how the great one above intended it to be, to quote Johnny Damon. Do I think we can go up a game before that monster series? No, I don’t. That’s the best we’re going to see out of the Orioles for the rest of the season, and the Sox failed to capitalize on a great situation and may pay the price. Missing a golden opportunity like that is almost more frustrating than losing by a blowout and the Yankees winning, if that’s possible.

Then there’s the wild card. Any way the Sox can reach the playoffs is dandy to me, but the Wild Card is like kissing your sister in this case. This is the biggest chance the Sox have of ending this dynasty of Yankee domination in the East for over a decade, so it would pretty much put icing on the cake. Complete the comeback and overtake those devils last year, and now win the division the following season. Let’s make this happen, boys.

As for Curt Schilling…well, he was on the hill battling for too long. You could see the passion and fierceness in his eyes when he pitched, but the Cy Young caliber stuff just isn’t there this season. He sacrificed his body for the ultimate goal last year, and now we’re paying the dues. That little voice inside of me still says he’ll be the Schilling of old and dominate if we reach the playoffs, but it’s uncertain. Right now, he looks like a number 3 starter.

The biggest week of our lives continues tonight. Let’s go Cornroyo.

One Huge Week

2005-09-26T23:15:00.000-04:00

This is the week. The week of judgement and decision. The week where the warriors step up to the plate and the losers take a seat on the bench. The week where the playoff seedings are decided. This is the biggest week of the regular season. The biggest week of our lives as diehard Red Sox fans, or at least we should view it that way.

So put down the books and the papers. Put down the electric bills and unplug the phones. Just sit back, relax and watch some Red Sox baseball. This is the season riding on a single week, a special week culminating in a three game series at the Pahk against the Yankees, who just happen to be tied with the Sox for first place. Could this get any better? Would a possible one game playoff just completely end the world altogether?

So fire up the grill, thrown on some dogs and grab a cold one, because this is quite frankly, as good as it gets. The home field is a great advantage to have, because playing at Fenway Park is like discovering a gold mine. We BASH up in our hizzouse. The Yanks then come into town so we can put them out of their misery and send them home packing. October, please welcome the defending World Champs.

Oh yeah, and it’s official, there really is a Fenway Park South. I couldn’t believe the amount of Red Sox fans at Camden Yards this weekend. It’s got to be downright embarrassing for the Orioles management and players to see David Wells leave to a standing ovation. Every single camera angle NESN presented had at least one Red Sox hat, jersey, or Johnny Damon beard. Really astounding.

One more thing: How bout those Pats! Is Tom Brady unbelievable or what?

Putting It Away Early

2005-09-25T22:13:00.000-04:00

Two outs? Not a problem. Show those pitchers not to ignore Manny Ramirez. Maybe they’ll pay some attention to John Olerud and Billy Mueller. A little love for Jason Varitek? How about some R.E.S.P.E.C.T. for head dirt dog Trot? Nah, just don’t pitch to Ortiz and you can beat this team. Damon can’t hit it out with two sore shoulders, not a chance.

This is the best lineup in baseball from top to bottom. Sure it can prove to have some off nights, you know, month long slumps and late night book tours, forgivable stuff like that. But when these guys get on track, preferably facing a rookie, the ball is flying around the park. John Maine looked puzzled and completely stunned after the first inning, like the Derek Lowe Face had just taken over. Two quick outs and our bottom guys explode for five early runs, putting the game away with big Boomah on the hill.

Did the Yanks win? Unfortunately, yes, but it was tough. For a while. Sheffield hit a game-ending bomb in the seventh, but Toronto did lead that game 3-1. The Indians did lose to the RoyAAAls, meaning the Sox/Yanks are only a half game back in the wild card. It’s a nice second option knowing that if someway somehow the Yankees win this division, the Sox can still make the playoffs. Good feeling.

Short post tonight, I got a ton of work to do. Spent the last eight hours flipping channels between football and baseball, it really drains on you for a while. Tough day at the office. But really, can’t wait till tomorrow with Schilling taking the hill as we return to Fenway on our route to the playoffs.

Six Game Season

2005-09-24T23:24:00.000-04:00

Seven things I’d like to point out from the game tonight:

1. Damon really looks hurt. He’s not running the same, hitting the same, fielding the same…he just doesn’t look the same. If Damon is playing at 50% and we have no reliable backup outfielder, this could be a brewing problem if we make it to the playoffs. But no worries, Damon will tough it out. I hope.

2. Renteria finally delivering in the clutch, courtesy of a two run single in the ninth inning off B.J. Ryan. A guy that’s pretty much been a bust all season and hasn’t done squat for us when we really need it, I really felt happy for Edgah. You can tell all year he’s been drowning in the Boston expectations and pressure of hitting inconsistently and sometimes making us fans ponder suicide by his play at shortstop. Biggest hit of the season? Definitely.

3. The pitching of Clement tonight was a pretty surreal situation, triggering the first time in baseball history a manager calls for bullpen action during a no-hitter. That’s right, Clement was working on a six walk, no hitter and Bradford was getting warm out in center. All night, Clementine worked out of huge jams, walking the bases loaded twice. He ended up loading the bases in another inning and leaving unharmed. But he ended up with the no-decision.

4. Craig Hansen proving he was human. The pitch was actually adequate. It was a high fastball at 96, and if the guy parks it, just tip your hat to him. Before that, Hansen struck out Matos easily and I wondered if this flamethrower would ever give up a hit in his career. Regardless of giving up the blast, he’s still got awesome stuff. It was also cool seeing Varitek give him a nice lesson on Renaissance humanists in the dugout, including a brief summary of Roman Catholicism and Martin Luther. But really, Tek knows best.

5. Timlin with another shaky ninth inning. It makes me wonder how in the world we’re relying
on Timlin for this last week and possibly the playoffs. Every single inning is chaos- runners on base, silly two out walks, three run leads evaporating into thin air- it’s like walking across a straw bridge over the Mississippi with this guy. Perfect setup man. Weak closer.

6. The Orioles have gone from one of the most feared and potent lineups in baseball in April to complete obscurity in September. This team had Roberts, Mora, Tejada, Palmeiro*, Sosa*, Gibbons and Lopez and now have guys named Freire, Castro and Newhan starting on a daily basis. And as an Oriole hater, I’m loving every second of it. I hated when those guys would come into Fenway and kick our asses last year and in 2003, it was just bothering seeing Tejada commit his life to beating the Red Sox. Am I going insane?

7. The Yankees lose, and hell, it’s about freakin time. Batista coming into the game and blowing away Sheff, Giambi and Matsui, then getting Posada looking to end it was downright spectacular.

Big Boomah tomorrow for the last road game of the season. I’ll be getting my broom at about 4:30 ET.

Kevin Millar Rant, Part II

2005-09-22T17:13:00.000-04:00

This post can also be seen on Firebrand of the AL:

Evan recently wrote a great article on the drop in production from Edgar Renteria, an idea I decided to steal and use on Kevin Millar. Always the outgoing, friendly and laughable mainstay of this Cowboy Up era, Millar’s performance on the field hasn’t been very questioned in previous years. He’s the everyday first baseman, getting on base with huge walks like Game 4 of the ALCS and getting the job done with his power off and sometimes over the Green Monster. He seemed like the guy who would blast country music and start playing the air guitar after a loss, just to loosen the fellas up a bit. Boston liked him, and he liked Boston.

This year is a different story. Millar has been platooning his position with veteran John Olerud, a guy whose liked in Boston for hitting over .300 and providing stints of home run capabilities and constant professionalism on and off the field. He can flash the leather much better than Millar too, who’s always been considered one of the poorest defensive first baseman in the game. But it was Millar, the karma captain of 2003 and the premiere idiot of 2004, who is still portrayed as the Red Sox first baseman. Sorry Roberto Petagine fans.

Sometimes Millar’s humor and foolishness gets him into trouble. Millar admitted last winter that the team took shots of Jack Daniels before Game 6 and 7 of the 2004 ALCS to “loosen up the spirits.” Theo and crew didn’t find this stunt so amusing, and basically told Millar to keep his trap shut. Then, there was the denied rumor earlier this season that Millar, frustrated from the signing of Olerud, demanded a trade. I never really believed this, but he was mentioned in trade talks with Minnesota and other clubs near the deadline. You could see the stars beginning to align for Millar’s exit from Boston.

The antics from Millar would have been more accepted by the front office and fans if he was producing on the field. His statistics show a pretty solid decline from 2003 to 2004 and this year, where most of his important numbers have gone downhill.

At Bats: 544 in ’03, 508 in ’04, 437 in ‘05
Batting Average: .276 in ’03, .297 in ’04, .275 in ’05
Home Runs: 25 in ’03, 18 in ’04, 9 in ’05
Runs Batted In: 96 in ’03, 74 in ’04, 50 in ’05
Runs: 83, 74, 57
Hits: 150, 151, 120
OBP: .348, .383, .354
SLG: .472, .474, .403

I know about the limited at-bats this year, but those numbers are too much of a steady decline to even consider re-signing him this offseason. Assuming he gets around 28 at-bats for the last 10 games, that would leave him with 465, only 43 less than 2004, where he hit nine more home runs and drove in 24 more runs. He also scored more runs, got on base with more frequency and hit with more power. Plus, the only reason Millar isn’t getting 500 at-bats this season is because of his unimpressive start in the first two and a half months. Overall, he’s been a major disappointment to this team.

Millar’s rankings vs. other first baseman in MLB: 29th in rbi, 37th in hr, 16th in hits, 19th in runs, 13th in avg, 12th in obp, 18th in slg, 16th in ops. That’s plain awful. We’ve got a starting first baseman with no glove whatsoever, a guy who’s hit one home run on the road this season and ranks 37th in that category, and who is making 3.5 million this season and will want more next year. I don’t see any reasonable explanation for why this guy will be in a Red Sox uniform next season. Except one thing…

There’s that swagger. The way he relates to the fans and always seems to be in a good mood during happy and sad times. The way he stirs that team chemistry so perfectly. When you need a laugh, Kevin Millar is always there. Don’t get me wrong, I actually like Millar. The only problem is that offensive and defensive performance on the baseball field overshadows clubhouse cheerfulness and the fun factor. Seriously, it’s going to be sad to see him go.

But there’s another catch. The free agent list for first baseman this offseason is so completely barren that if Millar asks for a reasonable sum of money, he may just get it. The best players available are J.T. Snow, who has unfavorable numbers this season, and former Sox player Scott Hatteberg, who is a Beane favorite and will most likely stay in Oakland. John Olerud is a free agent, so he’s most likely either going to retire or join another team. It may be up to Theo to make a deal.

I really like the comparison that Andrew gave with the old powerhouse Cleveland Indians to this version of the Red Sox. Those teams are strikingly similar in many ways. A team with a 120 million dollar payroll should never have to “rebuild” like the Indians did for three years, but a youth movement is definitely on the way. I still believe Johnny Damon is on the rise, and if we can sign him, bring up Hanley, Craig, Pedroia and keep the core of that 2004 team together for next year, this team could be rebuilding and winning at the same time. If that’s possible.

The first move? Get rid of Millar. Trot and Timlin may be packing their bags in the near future. Sign Damon and Mueller, keep Ortiz for as long as possible, of course Varitek and the youth movement, and if the right deal is on the table, trade Manny Ramirez. We can dump his contract and continue adding and developing young players when guys like Schill and Wells retire. Maybe grabbing an All-Star caliber first baseman will be on the horizon. By trading Manny and some of those veterans, you’re pretty much asking for 85 wins and a chance at not making the playoffs for a couple of years.

That may just be the case.

The View From Second Place

2005-09-21T23:10:00.000-04:00

Go ahead and hit the panic button. The cord finally came loose on this first place deal, and the previously written-off injury plagued and struggling Yankees are all of a sudden invincible, and more importantly, in first place. Our boys let the lead slowly slip away, and tonight was the last straw on a run that lasted since early July. And I gotta admit, first place was fun while it lasted. Looking down to see the Yankees floundering around three or four games back, grinning at the thought of finally winning a division title for the first time in a decade. Now we’re playing catch up, a situation that never really crossed my mind during that run.

The game started off as planned, with a sac fly and a couple RBI singles, one coming from Mr. Rent-A-Bust. After a Manny homer, the Sox led 4-2 in the seventh inning when Tim Wakefield brought me to a better place. An inning where Wake struck out two batters on magnificent knuckleballs in huge situations, where I formally proclaimed him the MVP Runner Up behind Ortiz for this team. The eighth appeared as if the brick wall would finally come crashing down, but Wake managed a 3-0 double play from rising star Carl Crawford. Cantu singled to make it 4-3, and all of a sudden I was pacing around the room, searching for the boiling pot of water to slowly pour down my throat when Timlin came in.

Timlin came in. And what ensued was more of a depressing act than a pitcher getting clobbered. A friend of mine pointed out that the D’Rays were just waiting, plotting, hoping to stay in the game so a fastball pitcher can serve them up some meat. It was obvious they were struggling to hit Wakefield, and I think in that situation, you have to leave Wake in the game. It’s his ballgame to win or lose, and hell, he’s the best friggin pitcher we’ve got. His pitch count wasn’t a factor, either.

(Also, letting Hyzdu bat in the top of the seventh with the bases loaded was wrong. Lefty Trevor Miller was pitching, so you bring up the switch hitting Varitek, with Shoppach the emergency catcher on the bench. You might be thinking, why would you waste him for that one at-bat? It turned out to be huge runners stranded on base, and I believe a brain lapse from Francona. Hit the vet Tek over the rookie Hyzdu in that situation, please.)

Timlin then almost gave up the cycle in the inning, causing me to pull a Kevin Brown and punch the wall as hard as my fist could possibly thrust forward. Gomes doubled, someone tripled, someone singled, it was all really a blur to me. I was flipping back and forth between our game and the Yankees game, where Rivera got into some trouble but found a way to win like always. The Orioles couldn’t score a run if it came up and slapped them. In case you’ve been living under a rock, this sucks.

Keep this in mind: we’re only a half game back. Actually, the pressure is less trying to hold a division lead than chasing the big bad Yanks and being the underdog like last year. If the Yanks lose tomorrow, then it’s all tied up again. Let’s not lose faith and give up on this team quite yet. I know the starting pitching and bullpen are in complete shambles, our offense is inconsistent at times and the manager screwed up tonight, but we’ve still got season left. This is where the real fans step up, believe, keep the faith, and hope and pray this team starts to find a way.

Offensive Explosion

2005-09-20T23:55:00.000-04:00

On the menu tonight for the Red Sox: first, a nice appetizer courtesy of David Ortiz defying human life with another monster shot, followed immediately by a side salad of Manny Ramirez back-to-back, the main course featuring more long balls and, to top it off, a dessert filled with a four hit night for the Cap’N and Dr. Dirt Dog. Definitely the right ingredients for a blowout win in the Trop. Nothing like taking a piece of the Devil Rays and smearing it all over their faces, wiping those slick grins off the rookies faces and showing them who’s still boss in the division. The offense wakes up from their brief nap at an opportune time. Final Score: 15-2.

Ortiz: 4-5, 2 HR, 4 runs, 4 RBI
Ramirez: 4-4, 2 HR, 4 runs, 3 RBI
Varitek: 4-5, 2 RBI
Nixon: 4-6, 4 runs, 3 RBI

I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in.

Any more great news, you might ask? Curt Schilling, who showed us that with a little run support, anything is possible. Even (gasp) a win. Exactly what we could have asked from Schilling tonight. Seven solid innings, seven strikeouts, making Devil Rays hitters look impatient and silly late in the game once he settled in. You can’t prove much from a blowout like that, but at least Schill kept that lineup in tact for the first couple innings while our offense brought out the whips.

More on David Ortiz now, who is quickly making me think twice about the vow I took earlier in life that a DH should never win MVP. I’m not much for interleague or the DH, but if the Sox somehow scrape out this division in the last weekend, Ortiz has to be the obvious choice. I don’t care anymore if he can’t field if his life depended on it, or that he steals a base once in a green moon. The guy got the Sox jump-started tonight like he’s done so often, blasted another in the third, and just to make things exciting, brought his average over .300.

If you look at Ortiz’s statistics, this MVP year has been slowly building up for a while now. In 2000, Ortiz hit ten home runs, followed by 18, 20, then 31 with the Sox in 2003, 41 last year and now 46 dingers, a career high, and moving towards Jimmie Foxx for that single season Sox record. Primarily a bust with Minnesota, Theo took a chance to an injury prone guy that was good in the clubhouse, but never delivered on the field. As it appears now, Theo made the best free agent signing in recent memory. From his 2003 breakout year, to the 2004 heroics and the ring, now in 2005 with his MVP numbers, his career can be defined as “climbing the ladder”. At the very least.

(By the way, did anyone see the Devil Rays try to copy the Red Sox hugs after Cantu hit his home run in the first inning? Cantu approached Hall on the bench, they stared at each other for a second, then actually hugged for way too long to be comfortable, then gave another awkward stare and hit each other in the chin. The NESN cameras went back and Cantu was doing some fake seizure type handshake with another player. I like the effort guys, but I haven’t laughed harder since I found out there was a pitcher named J.J. Putz.)

Varitek’s brief hibernation is over. Trot’s frustration is over. Manny made Seth McClung look like Blaine Neal with two big time home runs. It was a complete total effort from everyone on the team tonight, and it feels really good to get back in a winning groove again. Let’s just hope we didn’t spend all the runs tonight, and have some ammo to beat these guys again. And one more thing. May the Yankees lose sometime in the near future.

Yeah, I Can See Over That Helmet

2005-09-19T23:21:00.000-04:00

This article can also be seen on Firebrand of the AL:

It’s never fun losing to Tampa Bay. It’s never fun seeing that jolly little smirk after a Rays win from our dear friend Lou Pinella. It’s never fun losing by one run in a pennant race, especially when our bitter rival and chaser in the division wins on a Bubba Crosby walk off home run. Sad day for the Sox.

The game started off on the right foot, with Damon doubling, Renteria moving him over and Papi adding another ribbie to his already bloated statistics. Edgah hit a sac fly in the second, but Wells was playing with fire over the first two innings and couldn’t make it out of a third inning where the Rays plated four runs and that cheese sign was obviously distracting Wells in the background. When he returned to the clubhouse, Boomer happily helped himself to a slice and played guitar with his Babe Ruth statue.

It was the same guys that always kill the Red Sox. The biggest blow came from Jorge Cantu, who always finds a way to spoil our hopes of a comeback. But the bigger question is: how can he see the pitch with his helmet so friggin low?

I gotta throw out a little love to my boy Alex Cora for a two-RBI triple earlier in the game, and Ortiz with a two-RBI double later. And if you really want a silver lining, how bout that young gunner Craig Hansen? Throwing 97 mph heaters. Absolutely making Hall and Lugo look like little leaguers with those moving fastballs and breaking sliders. Even though Papelbon gave up the bomb to Cantu, there’s something that tells me these guys make out a bright pitching future for the Sox.

The bullpen was really worn out as the game got to the latter innings, so Tito had to leave Chad Bradford in too long in the eighth. He gave up the big run that mattered, then almost surrendered another one if not for the smarts of Cap’n Tek (who can’t hit for…yeah, you know), tagging out Gomes after he missed the plate. MVP David Ortiz blasted a shot off Baez in the ninth, but Manny struck out on a nasty breaking ball, and the fat lady was singing away. It’s getting normal now for Papi to come through with a big hit and Manny to subsequently choke. It’s gotten to the point where you expect Manny to screw up.

Well, the lead is down to a slim half game, with another divisional collapse possibly shaping out right in front of our tearful eyes. There’s always tomorrow. Time for Curtis to step up.

The Curse Of Scott Hatteberg

2005-09-18T16:51:00.000-04:00

Also seen on Firebrand of the AL:

I did my best to ignore the hideous red jerseys the Red Sox sported today, but it was impossible to ignore the performance on the field. Right out of the gate it was a massacre waiting to happen, with Clement lasting just over an inning, giving up seven earned on eight hits and zero strikeouts. Even when he got some rare outs, they were lined shots or tough plays. With every start, I’m doubting Clement more and more. Not just his stuff as a pitcher, but his endurance and mental toughness. He was always a little shaky on the Cubs, and we’re starting to notice as his ERA continues to climb at an errant pace.

Any silver lining? Well, Machado got his first hit and Billy Mueller homered for the first time this month. Foulke pitched two innings and didn’t give up a run. No, you’re not going crazy, he actually didn’t give up a run, and its so awkward seeing Foulke out there down eleven runs. But overall it was a complete and total breakdown, even Jeremi Gonzalez chipped in with a poor effort. Tito pretty much surrendered when he removed Damon, Manny and Papi, while the A’s picked up a huge win.

Then I flipped over to YES and the sickening voice of Michael Kay (whaaaaaaat a PHENOMENAL play by Derrek Jeter, ohhhhhhhhh MY he is the savior, just a TREMENDOUS play). He doesn’t even try to be objective anymore, just complains when the Yanks don’t get a call and drools over the players. Makes me want to throw up, really. As for the game, where I was rooting for a Blue Jay team I strongly dislike, the Jays pulled out a tough win 5-4. The Yanks made it interesting in the last inning with a Rowing The Cano double that scored Matt Lawton, but Jeter went down looking and the lead remains 1.5. You should have heard Kay after the ump called Jeter out looking on an obvious strike…

The Tribe also killed the RoyAAAls 12-0, so the Yanks lost a game in that category, making this sad day not completely and utterly terrible (no, I’m not Bob Ryan). Hopefully, the bats and pitching will straighten themselves out for our 145th series vs. Tampa this season. Trot needs to heat up. Tek needs to heat up. Edgah needs to heat up. In order to keep this slim lead over the Yankees, these games against Tampa are crucial. I love this time of year, when every game is a must win and every loss means flipping over the coffee table and pouring boiling water down your throat. Good times.

Maybe this quote from Kevin Millar will brighten up the day:

"I think this is a team that thrives on adversity,' says Millar on his Red Sox, 'I talked to one of our former teammates who's now on the Yankees, and he couldn't believe how different it is, how everyone goes his own way as soon as the game is over. I know this team is crazy and all that, but we're all in the clubhouse at 2:30 every day, getting on one another, and we hang out long after the game is over. You hear stuff about teams that have each other's backs, but it's real here."

The Ken Macha Blown Strategy

2005-09-16T23:36:00.000-04:00

Manny taking one for the team. In the middle of a tight pennant race that’s getting more nut-busting and nerve-racking by the second, it is the constantly slacking Manny Ramirez that wins the game on a walk off hit by pitch. Not that he could have gotten out of the way or anything, but we’ll let that slide.

More importantly, Tim Wakefield has solidified himself as our number one starter if we make the playoffs, I mean, when we make the playoffs. The guy was simply phenomenal tonight. Besides a couple mistakes and that lucky hit by Douche Payton, he’d be in line for another W. I can’t believe he could even get a good grip on the knuckleball with the rain coming down so hard, but he found a way as usual. Timlin pitched a nervous tenth, and in the bottom of the inning the Sox struck.

Also, watching SportsCenter, I’m convinced of two things. One, Steve Levy is a Yankees fan. Two, how do they know what Randy Johnson said to the umpire in the Yankees-Jays game? He could have said the most derogatory, vulgar comment ever known to man. I’m sure he didn’t say, "well, Mr. Umpire Sir, can you please explain kindly to me why that last pitch was not a strike?" Brantley wants to fine the umpire! I mean, it was a quick and probably unfair hook in a huge game, but they won anyway. So stop whining. I just wouldn’t want to run into Randy Johnson on the streets.

But don’t you just love these pennant races? I’m even into the National League, and I just found out there actually was a National League this offseason. The Indians and Yanks for the Wild Card, the Indians and ChiSox in the Central, the Yanks and Sox in the East, the A’s and Angels in the West, the Astros, Phils and Fish in the NL Wild Card- pretty exciting stuff around baseball. Let’s enjoy.

Look Out Behind You

2005-09-14T17:30:00.000-04:00

Where do I begin? With the horrid defense and lack of pitching? With the lack of clutch hitting, or any hitting for that matter? With Keith Foulke once again making us cry for the name Craig Hansen?

The game started off on the wrong foot and never shifted momentum- that’s the bottom line. The Jays plastered Abe with five runs in the third inning, including a home run by the immortal Gabe Gross. Meanwhile, the Yankees were spanking the Devil Rays by a gizillion runs, and Red Sox fans could see the lead slowly slipping away. Edgah made a costly error when we were creeping back, and the Jays once again proved that they’re not giving up, they’re in this till the end, but most of all: they just want to kick our ass.

Now to address the pitching matter. If the season ended today, David Wells would most likely pitch the opening game. Followed by Tim Wakefield, who’s becoming more and more dependable with every game, and then Matt Clement, who’s becoming less and less dependable with every game. Where Curt Schilling fits into all of this, I have no idea. Bronson Arroyo hasn’t deserved a job in the starting rotation yet, so he’ll work in the bullpen where he’s extremely hit or miss. Plus, Wells has been there before and should make a quality starter for game one. Still not an ace, though.

The bullpen is a different story. Timlin is our closer for the rest of the season. That’s probably not how Sox Nation wants it, but Foulke is just way too ineffective. I still do think Foulke can play an important role in the playoffs as the setup or seventh inning guy, if he ever gets his groove back. Papelbon is so young, it’s hard to throw him into those huge playoff pressure-filled situations. But this kid appears to be poised and confident on the mound, so actually he could be our setup guy. I personally see Myers and Bradford as a strong point. Righty to lefty. Submarine. I like them in the playoffs.

The offense isn’t a problem, just a little bit streaky as of late. At Fenway, we knock the living crap out of the ball, and we should have home field in the first round when the Indians win the wild card. Damon should be back on Thursday at home vs. Oakland, another huge series.

But for tonight- David Wells takes the mound trying to prove he’s the number one guy. Let’s go Sox and D’Rays.

The Next Big Thing

2005-09-13T17:53:00.000-04:00

David Ortiz has officially re-defined the word "clutch." He’s brought it to a level of extreme and unrealistic proportions. The guy just gets it done, not once in a while or occasionally in a huge game, but it seems like every single week Ortiz wins a game for the Red Sox. Now, I’m not a guy that likes to drool over players (yeah, right), but this becoming insanely hilarious. You knew David Ortiz was going to hit a homerun. I emailed a friend just before that at-bat and said "here comes another Ortiz blast." Yes, it happened again. And that wasn’t even the biggest story of the night.

The biggest story was Jon Papelbon. If you want to talk about a gift from the holy one above, blessing our bullpen with some sort of stability and consistency, then I believe we’ve got our man. He’s a flamethrower. He’s calm and collective on the mound. He can pitch for a long time, evident by his perfect three innings last night and his first career win. Hats off to you, Jon. The kid.

I may be getting too high on this guy, but I loved what I saw. He was locating his pitches, actually, in one inning Remy pointed out each of his three outs and Papelbon hitting Tek’s glove each and every time. With a bullpen filled with dudes named Matt Perisho and Chad Harville, who should be waiting on me at McDonalds, and the vulnerable Keith Foulke, a gem like this may be the key. We’re not winning many playoff series with Timlin as the closer. It aint happenin.

What else went down? Well, Manny hit a ball that hasn’t landed yet. The homer landed ON TOP of the restaurant in deep center, around 440 feet estimated. I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in. Arroyo pitched well until his blowup inning in the seventh, followed by Foulkey taking shits on the hill, then Timlin leaving a gopher ball for Vernon Wells to turn into dust. But Ortiz was there. He’s so friggin powerful.

Biggest win of the season? Quite possibly. That Ortiz homer was a bigger deal than the first time I watched Soul Plane. Another win in that damn dome and a Yankee loss to Tampa would make a nice night. Let’s make it happen, boys.

Remember 9/11

2005-09-11T22:48:00.000-04:00

Who Died And Made You Tony Graffanino

2005-09-10T23:05:00.000-04:00

Congrats on that first win, Mr. Schilling. The man steps up big when the going gets tough, tossed up an excellent performance in a huge game, and led the Sox to a 9-3 win in the Stadium. This was the biggest game of the season, not even Johnny Pesky can tell me otherwise. The difference between two games and four games is major, and I’m talking "Bob Dylan voice change in the 80s" major not "Boston College beats Army" major. Of course, Curtis did get his fair share of run support from a heavy dose of our new guy up there Tony Graffanino, Magic Helmet Boy, and our dear friend Manny Ramirez. Good to have ya back.

How bout those Sox, hey? The Yanks did beat themselves in this game, too. Cano made a terrible error that gave the Sox a run and Matsui dropped a fly ball in left that was positively hilarious. I knocked over my Bill Mueller commemorative statue after that bonehead play. Chacon was gone, Al Leiter was in, and the only way we weren’t going to win this game was if an overpowering earthquake shattered the face of the earth. The ribbies kept coming, and today definitely made up for last nights pour effort.

So where do we go from here? Well…a win tomorrow would be nice. Yank killer Timmaayy Wakefield is on the hill against the Unit, and believe it or not, my confidence is really high. The momentum is ours, the intangibles are on our side, the stars are aligned for a division win. This may actually be the year they take this over the Yankees…

And now this great quote:

"I think this is a team that thrives on adversity,' says Millar, 'I talked to one of our former teammates who's now on the Yankees, and he couldn't believe how different it is, how everyone goes his own way as soon as the game is over. I know this team is crazy and all that, but we're all in the clubhouse at 2:30 every day, getting on one another, and we hang out long after the game is over. You hear stuff about teams that have each other's backs, but it's real here."

Yankees Suck. Always Have. Always Will.

2005-09-09T17:07:00.000-04:00

Yankee Hating is in my blood. My grandfather never had a favorite team growing up, he just rooted for the Yankees to lose. My father grew up a Senators then Orioles fan, and never in his life did he consider rooting for the Yankees, not even on his deathbed with a gun to his head. And it appears that has passed down to me, the ultimate Yankee hater who pretty much lives to one day see the Yankees collapse. Oh wait, that happened. Every time the Yanks and Sox meet up for the rest of my life, and I think I’m speaking for Sox Nation here, we’ll think of the grand year of 2004, when all hell broke loose and the Yankees succesfully executed a choke of indefinite proportions. Best moment of my life, when they finally finished off Game Seven. Until about a week later.

Then there’s the fans. Those arrogant, selfish, cocky-to-the-point-of-considering-murdering-them-and-accepting-life-in-jail, ass holes that call themselves the best fans in baseball. Truly, they’re all degenerate schmucks that will turn their back on the team if anything went seriously wrong. A friend in New York told me that after Game Seven, he’d never seen so many Red Sox hats in Manhattan before. I guess some of them are alright, but about 90% are complete dicks. I feel very strongly about this.

George Steinbrenner. He buys players like they’re toilet paper. He dumps players like their candy wrappers. I mean, would it KILL you to sign Bernie Williams for one more season after all he’s done for the Yankees? Would thinking about the future of your team just light a fire in your head? He compares his work to evil dictators and Civil War commanders. He treats his staff, manager and players like dog poop. If you’re good, he loves you. One year you hit .240, he won’t speak to you. I have my sources.

Then there’s that damn Yankee luck. Because they’ve won so many championships and have had so many great players, it’s like nothing bad can ever happen to them. All the frontrunners and Yankee bandwagoners, it just drives me to the point of suicide. And believe it or not, I didn’t mind the 98-00 Yankees THAT much. I disliked them, but I didn’t really hate them. Who do they remind me of? These Boston Red Sox. They had great team chemistry, played for the love of the game, and if you went up 5-0 and they started creeping back, you had a feeling they were going to win the game. Just the way it was with those winning Yankee teams, and now with the World Champion Sox. World Champion Sox. Heh.

(And about Yankee Stadium. They’re getting rid of it in 2008! Are you KIDDING me? This is the House that Ruth Built, for chrissakes. Do they realize that this is one of the most beloved and historic places in New York and in all of baseball? Fenway’s not going down any time soon.)

Back to the teams. This Yankee team I despise and I can’t even begin to describe the magnitude of that statement. They’re full of steroid-using cheaters that are vastly overpaid, act like they’re Army Brigade 435 of Virginia on the baseball field, and don’t even like each other. I mean, would it kill any of you to break a smile? You’re playing baseball for a living, making millions of dollars and wearing pinstripes! It’s like Steinbrenner shaves all their hair, brainwashes them to be ignorant bastards, then orders them a trip to the Lava Pit if they crack a grin. You see Manny point at the dugout in laughter when he gets a double. You see A-Rod lick his purple lips and frown when he gets a double. The teams are like polar opposites, and I’ll tell you, I’m so glad I’m on the right side.

Jeter’s fist pump. Michael Kay's voice. A-Rod’s bush league slap of Arroyo’s glove that gave him the Pantheon nickname Slappy McChokeRod. Doesn’t Posada just look like a dickhead? Doesn’t Gary Sheffield give you the feeling he isn’t in the mood to go out to dinner after the game for some social time? Jason Giambi is an admitted steroid user and cheater, and all of a sudden he’s this big hero? What am I missing here? Joe Torre looks like he’s been beaten with a frying pan and hasn’t flinched this entire season, and that’s a fact. At least he isn’t picking his nose as much.

I don’t like the Yankees. Let’s wrap up this division and do it in their house.

A Win Almost As Hot As Jessica Alba

2005-09-07T23:06:00.000-04:00

I’m not afraid to say the Red Sox are the Angels daddy. Can these guys ever beat us? No matter if its Wake, Arroyo, or Kelly the Ball Girl pitching, the Sox offense explodes and the Angels fall silent. Orlando Cabrera has to be frustrated. Vlad Guerrero has to be frustrated. Garret Anderson has to be frustrated. And as the number one Mike Scoisca hater, I’m loving every millisecond of it. Seeing him desperately try to shake up his team by getting purposely thrown out of tonight’s game was priceless. I can see what Frank Robinson was talking about.

It’s got to be a pretty nice feeling being a starting pitcher for the Red Sox. You go into the game, give up three or four in the first two innings…not a problem. Because that offense bails them out every single night. In the last three against Tampa, the Orange Birds last weekend, and now Cornroyo gets a piece of the special treatment pie. Listen, the Sox pitching may be shaky early, but there’s a pattern developing: they settle down in the later innings.

In the last five games for the Red Sox, Clement has gone eight, Wells nine, Schill six and a third, Wake nine and Arroyo eight. This is bigger than you may think. Number one, we save the bullpen for the huge series against the Yankees this weekend (and damn you Jason Giambi, you THG steroid pumping ass, why are you all of a sudden Mr. Clutch). Second, it’s pretty much obvious that the Sox bullpen is their weakness. By using something called "Common Sense", usually you stay away from your weaknesses. And it’s all about the Sox starters settling in while the bats roll.

Let’s see, who did their job tonight? Well, Millah is pounding the ball in the Monstah seats all of a sudden. Now wait for the pending apocolypse. Ortiz delivered his usual clutch hit, tying the game at 3-3 after the Pudgy Cheeks rant. Trot hit a nice RBI double off the wall. My boy Alex Cora drove in a run, so did Damon on a sac fly. A great overall game for everybody besides Manny, who went 0 for 4 with four groundouts and two double plays. Someone wake this guy up from his nap.

Timlin with the save. Game. Set. Match. Sox win, and keep the lead in the East at four games. We got Abe Lincoln A.K.A. Matt Clement going tomorrow, so it should be a nice blowout. I’m in the mood for some Rem Dawg weezing and a well-deserved reach into the closet for the broom.

David Ortiz Does It Again

2005-09-06T22:17:00.000-04:00

In this crucial series, you need a player to pick the team up, especially when their bats are asleep. David Ortiz has done that before, and he did it tonight. In one of the most dramatic and well-hit walkoff homeruns I’ve experienced with Big Papi, the Sox beat the Angels 3-2. This was a massive win in a big series. The crowd was in the game from the first pitch to the game winner, and Wake gave more than enough effort to get the win. Nine innings, two runs allowed. An excellent outing from a guy that just wants to win. This whole team wants to win, and they showed it tonight.

The top of the ninth inning was huge defensively. After a leadoff double, John Olerud made his usual diving stop and went to first, possibly saving a run and only making me wish he was the starting first baseman a little bit more. The next pitch was a grounder to Graffanino with the infield in, he fired home on the inexperienced pinch runner and he was standing in nowhere land. And with two outs, Tim Wakefield showed his balls with a beauty of a knuckeball to Adam Kennedy. Desire, folks. Inning over.

Damon pitched in with three hits. Manny got himself an RBI for the first time in a century, or so it seems. And it was all capped off with David Ortiz hitting number 38, and proving to everyone in the country that he is the definition of a valuable player to a team trying to hold a lead. We deserve the division. It’s been forever. This is our year to win the East, our year to look down at the Yankees and wag our tongues at their overpaid asses, give a little smirk and say "not this time, you bastards." All we gotta do it keep grinding out games like tonight, and this division is ours.

Tim Wakefield and Ortiz win co-MVP tonight. Can’t wait till tomorrow.

Holla Back

2005-09-05T22:13:00.000-04:00

Analysis on the game, brought to you by Stuart Scott:

Yo, these teams were straight up dreading this game today, folks. But they played anyway and right off the bat ChiSox rookie Brandon McCarthy was just plain filthy. Playa hatin on Edgar Renteria three times in the game. Throwing haterade at Jason Varitek on some sick curves. Kid came out FIRING in this one, folks. One pitch to Graffanino early in the game, man, he couldn’t hit that with if it was a volleyball.

Then later in the game, Paul Konerko absolutely straight up CLOBBERS this ball to deep left, and the lord said you got to RIIISE UPPP. His homer in the sixth of Curt Schilling made it four-nil ChiSox. Back to McCarthy, and I wasn’t gonna say nothin, but those changeups just ain’t right. McCarthy struck out eight in all, threw 120 pitches and folks, this kids got a future. Then, in the ninth, Tony Graffanino went all freaky on this hanger and made it 5-3. Boo yah! the Sawx aint done yet. But it wasn’t enough, as the White Sox win it by that score. Hugs and handpounds for everybody, and I’m out.

That's Right, Don't Mess

2005-09-04T17:22:00.000-04:00

Remember the guy back in April that posted an astronomical ERA and could barely make it through the third inning in most of his starts? The Old David Wells. Now, here’s a guy who battles to make every start a gem, smiles and jokes around in the dugout, and is now turning into our most reliable pitcher in the rotation. That’s the New David Wells.

After a slice of cake in the clubhouse, Wells came out on the Fenway mound and completely dominated the Orioles. Erase two doubles in the fifth inning by Mora and Tejada, and this guy’s got a complete game shutout. Instead, he goes nine strong, dominates with that overhand curve that starts at an altitude higher than Mount Everest and ends up in the dirt, and spits in the Orioles faces. Not literally, but figuratively. Tack on some major power from good ole Johnny Olerud, a nice Damon two ribbie rip, and the 5-1 win makes that Off Track Bedding commercial seem just a little less annoying.

One other thing I want to bring up, and that’s Manny’s hitting. The Man isn’t hitting his usual hanging curves over the Monster, just grounding out to second. He’s fouling off ordinary 88 mph fastballs into the seats, instead of lining them in the gap for doubles like he did last year. Manny isn’t smiling nearly as much, and just flat out doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself. You’re probably thinking: no shit, you just noticed this stupid act of his? But really, not only is he making dumb mistakes on the field and causing trouble in the front office, but his batting seems to have hit a curve. Or is it just Manny Being Manny, whatever that means.

And this from Surviving Grady, whom I also got that hilarious picture from: Sean McAdam told a great story from the Red Sox clubhouse this morning. Members of the group Green Day were at Fenway taking a tour on Friday. They were hanging out with Johnny Damon when Kevin Millar found out who they were and wanted to go meet them. Being a huge country music guy, Millar knew nothing about Green Day. So he consulted resident music expert Bronson Arroyo. Bronson tutored him quickly, even teaching Millar a quick verse of a song. Millar goes over to the Green Day guys, puts his arm around one of them, and proceeds to belt out the verse Arroyo taught him, blabbering about how it was one of his favorite songs. Millar received some strange looks, then told the guys he had to go take BP. The song was Wonderwall by Oasis! Bronson punk'd him!

Fenway Fun

2005-09-03T23:50:00.000-04:00

When the Emancipator gives you a solid eight innings over a rested bullpen, and the Sox rampaging offense scores seven runs at home, you expect a win. Well, the win was granted, but not without some major drama. Timlin and Renteria made it interesting, the pesky Orioles stayed in the game, but in the end the Sox prevailed 7-6. Ortiz hit another home run, and even Millar is waking up from his four month nap.

Tomorrow, Boomer’s suspension ends and he starts vs. Sox killer Rodrigo Lopez. I also hope we see Foulke tomorrow night. Tito really needs to get some innings out of him quickly before the postseason comes around, ya know, saying we get there and all. The Yanks won so the lead is still 3.5, pretty comfortable and I’m confident due to the major offensive outburst at home. Good old Fenway.

Just Like Old Times

2005-09-01T22:05:00.000-04:00

Escape from the fact all you want, but this Red Sox offense will carry the team, and be the only factor stopping the Red Sox from being eliminated from the playoffs. The last three nights, Schilling, Wakefield and Arroyo, respectively, have left piles of crap on the mound early in the game. We’ve been down 6-1, 5-1 and 4-2 by the third innings of each of the last three games, and faster than Emeril can say Bam!, this offense has brought us back to our winning ways. 19 of 20 at Fenway. What is it now, fourteen straight home games with seven runs or more? Just unbelievable.

And it’s a new face every single time out. Trot on Tuesday with his gunning of Toby Hall and eventual walk off single. Millah on Wednesday with two monster shots, one off the Coke bottles over the Monster that turned out to be the killah. Tonight, it was the Helmet Boy and his wonderous stare after his home runs, defensive wisdom and clutch hitting. I mean, at least he can spare us a grin. Olerud is becoming another masterful and genius signing from Theo and Co, really providing all of the above and team leadership and experience. This guy is the definition of a veteran, always there to help and do his duty.

You can’t help but acknowledge my boy Alex Cora for his help in this four game broom job. Sure I’m stealing this from the telecast and the Rem Dawg’s colorful commentary and constant unintentional comedy, but tough. Anyway, sticking with the day by day theme, on Tuesday, Cora faked that groundball DP while Crawford was chuggin to second on the flyout to Trot. Remember that? Set up a big double play. Yesterday, Cora came through in a situation that doesn’t really stick out in the box score, but played a big role in the game. With runners on second and third and nobody out, down by two runs, Cora grounded out to second. He got the run home. He got the trailing runner to third. Sac fly. And before Rob Schneider’s forehead can grow any larger, it’s a brand new ballgame. Tonight, Cora advanced on a single to right from first to third base on a nice hustle play. Wanna guess what the next guy did? Sac fly. Run scored. Thank you, Alex.

To be quite frank, this offense is rolling. The bats are red firing Tabasco style hot, and I’m loving every second of it. Sure, it’s Tampa and their lowly pitching staff at the Fens, but daaaaaamn. I couldn’t be more impressed. The team chemistry is really coming together too, with Manny and Millah racing out of the dugout to congratulate Johnny O on his big game tonight. Edgah set a career high with hits in a month, and he’s into the hugging business. Johnny Damon is Johnny Damon, ‘nuff said. And even Jonathan Papelbon struck out the side in the eighth inning. Yes, I’ll have a side of Future please.

Now we welcome the plague-of-pitching-known-as-the-Orioles, who are struggling lately and you know that Miguel Tejada fella will want to kick our steaming asses down to Atlantic City. Oh yeah, and if Raffy plays, well you know what to do.

Blonde Magic?

2005-08-31T22:06:00.000-04:00

Kevin Millar in stadium parking lot after his game winning home run against the Devil Rays:

Millar: Man, wouldn’t I love to see those idiot fans that always boo me after every 0 for 4 night. Ha! What a win. I’m so great, I might treat myself to KFC.

Fan #1: Hey Kevin! Great game! That home run you hit, wow, that thing just exploded off your bat. Prettiest swing in baseball, baby.

Millar: Thanks, man, I really appreciate the support. The swing was no problem. That bastard threw me a minor league fastball, what was I supposed to do, ya know? Hey, while you guys are out here, I might as well hook you up (throws each fan "fun size" bottles of Jack Daniels).

Fan #2: Bahh, you still suck. Seven home runs this year, my infant nephew could hit seven in a season with a wall 302 feet away. You’re a bust and we all want John Olerud.

Millar: You mean Helmet Boy? That’s a joke. This is Kevin Millar, World Champion Boston Red Sox you’re talking to here. Remember the whole "win tonight, Pedro in 5, Schill in 6, anything in Game 7 routine"? All me, buddy.

Fan #1: Don’t listen to him.

Millar: You know that Johnny Damon sex tape?

Fan #1: No?

Millar: Well, it’s coming out soon. And Johnny isn’t the guy in it (snickers wildly, shapes fingers like guns and pretends to be John Wayne).

Fan #2: So you’re not only a horrible baseball player with a glove made of stone and that damn bat wave that makes me want to execute a five state killing spree, but you did it with Michelle Damon. What a little bastard we got here.

Millar: Listen, I’m just a normal guy that likes to hit a home run once in a while. I like big breasts, Madden video games and an occasional Jim Beam like every normal human being. Not to mention that pimpish style walk I have (attempts to do moonwalk, trips and falls on his face).

Fan #2: Nice one, Kev.

Millar: If you’ll excuse me, I have to get home to my mistress…I mean, wife, before she suspects I pull a Derek Lowe or something. Pleasure talking to Sox Nation. Drive home safely.

Fan #1: You’re a very strange man. But thanks for coming through. (whispers) Bout f**king time, if you ask me.

Comeback Kids

2005-08-30T23:15:00.000-04:00

MVP: Trot Nixon.

Just when you know that Trot gunning Toby Hall at the plate would save the game, the guy does something else to make you jump, dance and kiss your Wally the Green Monster stuffed doll. In a game where our favorite, Lou Piniella, almost created an earthquake with his constant arguing of fair calls, and our former bloodied ace looked like he belonged in A Lowell with Foulke, the Red Sox somehow, someway, came out with another huge victory. Could it be any more frustrating for the Devil Rays playing us? I mean, remember that comeback in July with Damon and the game saving catch, and now this! 5-0 lead in the second against Schilling, Ortiz goes 0-4, Johnny isn’t even in the lineup, and their young gun Kazmir pitching- and we still find a way to win. Shows you the heart and pride of this team.

And maybe we saw the first wave towards a 2005 Sox identity this year, with Millah and Schill turning all blonde on us. Dare I say, it looks very sexy on them. Schilling reminded us that he’s still not the godly specimen of old, but settled down later and kept the game from exploding in front of our eyes. The fans were great, also. Through all the rain and the slow start, man were they loud in those last two comeback innings. Best fans in baseball? No friggin contest.

Again, though, it was the entire team that made up this win. I can’t believe I’m typing this, but Manny had some very difficult plays in left tonight- and didn’t look like he was a puppet once. Caught em all, baby. Then the Johnny Bros coming off the bench, with Olerud making Millah look like cat food next to a filet mignon with the tying single (what the hell did I just say).

Tonight’s win was more than just a win. It was a "no mercy, no giving up, no letting the stupid Devil Rays and their hideous uniforms beat us" type of win.

Oh and one more thing, why the hell didn’t Francona pinch run for Ortiz?

Dedicated To Mr. Under-Appreciated

2005-08-29T23:39:00.000-04:00

(First off, this post is dedicated to Bill Mueller. He’s cool. I like him. Great player. Go Sox.)

There was sort of a weird feeling in the stadium tonight. The clouds were dark and gray, the rain was lightly falling, almost like Lou Piniella was plotting for the world to end. But the game got underway and Damon crushed a homer to right field off Rays starter Seth McClung, and I was back into my Sox haven. Ortiz also ding-donged one later in the inning, and the run support for Matt Clement couldn’t possibly get any better. But it was the subs who really contributed tonight. Alex Cora had a couple hits and a ribbie. Johnny Olerud ripped three hard singles and played more excellent defense. I still wore my Who Died And Made You Tony Graffanino shirt even with my boy Cora playing, maybe it was good luck (actually there is no shirt, but I bet Michelle Damon can make some for me).

So, besides the orgasmic reactions that playing Tampa Bay at Fenway gives me, there’s no time to get cocky and start playing lazy. We need to take advantage of every home game, of every weak opponent, especially if the Yankees lose some games on the road. By the way, I wanted to acknowledge Tek for staying near .300 and Edgah! for making a solid bid to get there. These guys are red hot and part of our recent offensive success. Let’s just hope Damon is OK so I don’t have to put my finger in a vice again.

In other news, the Yankees are about to sign Bellhorn after he clears waivers. Fine, you bastards, now he can strike out and hit .210 for you. It makes me grin that some of the Sox rejects (yeah, I said rejects), Cashman is going for. Started with Embree. Good luck with these guys, Torre, they sure are spectacular. Watching Bellhorn bat is like seeing Christy Alley naked. Not good times.

Also, Boomah is pissed over not getting his suspension reduced after all the appeal hearings and long delay. And rightfully so. Maybe Bud ate his cake.

Dmitri Strikes Back

2005-08-28T12:25:00.000-04:00

After experiencing a heart-wrenching comeback by the Yankees that makes you question the meaning of life, I was more than ready to watch some Tiger whoop ass. After Bronson took care of their lineup without much problem through the first three innings, and that rampaging offense of ours killed Douglass the second time in the order (and damn do we kill pitchers the second time), the stars looked aligned for an easy relaxing win. Or so I thought. Renteria with an RBI single, Ortiz with a three run jack, Nixon delivers his own on the center field fence and over, and by golly, its 6-0 Sawx! And Arroyo looks determined to actually win a game.

Feeling the game was in tact, I went out to dinner. Smiling, eating happily, talking, just a nice night knowing in the back of my head that Stephen King was probably pinch hitting and the Tigers had called up Hazel Mae to try to shut down this blowout. When I returned to my homeless station near Copley Square and flipped on my 72-inch big screen HD TV, I almost knocked over my penny bucket. The Tigers were up 9-8 and Jeremi Gonzalez was pitching. Yikes.

Naturally, I went insane. And as I was going insane, the Tigers were too. Gonzalez’s poor effort makes it 11-8, Remlinger makes it 12-8, and the game is over faster than my right thumb. The lesson today: Never, ever think that a Red Sox game is in the bag. Not even if they’re beating the Yankees 18-1 at Fenway and some guy named Melky is playing centerfield. Not even if they’re destroying the D’Rays by 22 runs and Dewon Brazelton is on his eighth inning of work. It comes back to haunt you in a bad, bad way.

The Yankees are a slim one and a half games behind our chuggin asses, and today we need a win more than any other day of the year. Because the Skanks are playin the RoyAAAls, so you know what that means. Robertson is pitching for the Tigers, a guy we saw a week ago in Detroit, and Boomah is goin for the Sawx. Sounds favorable to me. So bring out the BBQ wings, hot sauce, Lays sour cream and onion and lets chill with our favorite team on a Sunday afternoon.

Disappointment

2005-08-26T12:32:00.000-04:00

You know, I really thought last night would turn out to be one of the more memorable games of the year. Curt Schilling comes out on the mound with a Superman cape on, fierce attitude and all, and throws a gem against a team with more losses than any team has wins. His first start of the official season (in my book) since leaving his shaky closers role I thought would go over just fine. My first reaction to the news was "he’s not ready" then "we’re desperate" and by the time the first pitch crossed the plate it was "holy shiznit, Curt Schilling is starting again." Did I mention he was facing the Central cellar dweller Kansas City?

So I was pumped. Let’s just say balloons and a pinata were involved. The first inning went absolutely delightful, and I swear on Pokey Reese’s life I will never say that word again. He clocked 94 on the gun, struck out two, and gave up one measly hit. After a drunken haze which involved three runs on six hits in the second inning against guys named Danny Hocking and Matt Stairs, Schilling limped off the mound with nothing to show for except inserting a fistful of doubt in the minds of his fans. But really, our offense is due! We’ve left more runners on base in the last two games than I can possibly count.

Lima Time, eh. Little bastard completely shut us down. Schilling kept giving em up. Millar looked mentally ill in left field. No Ortiz in the lineup. A weak groundout from Doug Mirabelli to end the only real threat of the game, and the Red Sox lose to the Kansas City Royals. Again. I’ll try to look at this rationally- we’re still two and a half games ahead of the Yankees, a better position the Sox were in at this time last year. You know, when they won the World Series and all. The majority of our games for the rest of the season are at home, including a relatively favorable homestand starting tonight against the Tigers.

Who do the Yankees play this weekend? The Royals at home. So the Sox better start not acting so uptight about everything, get their heads out of their asses, and start playing smart and good baseball like a 125 million dollar team should. Our rotation is in shambles right now, just face it. The bullpen is at the point where Jon Papelbon is pitching in a 6-4 game in the seventh. Someone in that clubhouse needs to step up, light a candle, and fire these bastards up. Now.

Did I ever mention how much I loved this team?

More Pitching, Less Partying

2005-08-25T14:01:00.000-04:00

At the end of the day, the game between the AAA Kansas City Royals and the $125 Million Dollar Boston Red Sox turned out to be a replay of David over Goliath. But Goliath didn’t exactly fight with its almighty power either, he let it slip away with walks and runners left on base. These games should be slaughters! It’s no coincidence that John Kruk called this years Royals "the worst team to ever play baseball" and they just finished a 19 game losing streak last week. A perfect opportunity to gain ground on the Yankees, and we let it slip away from our very own hands.

Papi killed a rally in the third with a double play. Manny failed to run down the first base line, resulting in criticism from the Rem Dawg himself, and Tek K’d and Millah lined out with the bases loaded in the seventh. Damon also grounded out with them loaded. The Sox had chances in pretty much every inning, but eventually, the alligator bit them in the ass and Cornroyo didn’t have his stuff in the eleventh. The Sox lost a heartbreaker to the Royals.

Where do we go from here? Well, for starters, the God Known As Curt Schilling will take the hill tonight for the Sox about three weeks too early. With the loss of Miller in the rotation, and Arroyo’s new home in the bullpen (?) Schilling gets the nod. His pitch count should be low. We’ll probably see J-Gonz tonight for a couple of innings (12 straight scoreless) and Foulke might be back during the homestand. Thank god the Yanks got their asses handed to them on a silver platter, or this East race would really be close.

I was reading on Boston.com some articles that Eric Wilbur and Bob Ryan wrote about the Sox chances to repeat. Both of them had a negative view, saying the bullpen is a mess and they don’t have a clear ace (yet) to pitch in the big seventh game. I was worried for a minute, before I looked at the other teams in the AL. The White Sox inexperienced pitching and lack of offense will take them out. The Angels have an all-right handed bullpen that Papi, Manny and Damon will murder. The A’s and Tribe are two years away, and the Yankees are way too inconsistent. The NL isn’t much better.

Let’s just win tonight and move on to the Promised Land, okay?

Who Ate The Last Donut

2005-08-24T15:00:00.000-04:00

- First of all, let’s get this Boomer Wells character straightened out. I don’t know about you, but I’m starting to fall in love with this dude. Sure he’ll probably get in a bar fight with a drunk Bruins fan and break his pitching arm sometime in the next month, but have you ever seen a player more intimidating on the mound? Everyone is scared of him. The guy could go pro in boxing or wrestling and be damn good at it. Supposedly he was feeling "under the weather" last night and had to come out after five. Funny how the guy can outlast chugging sixteen beers and not fight a headache. We were playing the Royals…

- As for the division race, can you even imagine if we actually win this thing? It seems like a million years since the Olde Towne Team has overcome those friggin Yankees and won the East. And there is a distinct possibility it happens in the last series of the season, at home, with the Yankees knowing they’ve choked in the ALCS, and now are watching the Hebrew Hammer and Tek give each other man hugs on the pitchers mound after the division clinching game. What else do we have to prove? Repeat?

- Why don’t the Royals just send Greinke down to the minors? The kid is obviously melting, his confidence level is about as high as Kenny Rogers, and there’s no doubt he’s going to eventually be alright. Sure it’s late in the season, but bring him back up in 06 after a little work. He’s 3-15 with an ERA around 6.5, those are not major league numbers for a 22 year old. Then again, they are the Royals…

- Good to see Nixon back in the lineup, and Edgah! is really steaming hot. I’m really starting to like the way he swings the bat, and that huge homer at Anaheim might be just a taste of the rest of the season. He might not be as popular or outspoken as Cabrera, so I think us loyal fans should accept that and stop ragging on him if he makes some errors. Orlando isn’t exactly tearing up the place over in Cali anyway. Let’s just all try to leave him alone. Now the wild card race shows the Indians and Yankees tied for first, and the faltering A’s a game back. Who will win it in the end?

MVP Chatter

2005-08-23T17:13:00.000-04:00

Damon for MVP?

Think about it. This guy is the catalyst and leader of the wild pack known as the Boston Red Sox. He leads the AL in hitting, scores a ton of runs and has provided us with the most famous hair in recent memory. Some say it’s even better than those Eddie Murray sideburns. He’s second in the AL in hits, only behind by a measly two, and has improved his defense in center by a considerable margin. His range is outstanding, and even though a Barbie could throw a baseball farther than him (even Bernie Williams), he catches pretty much anything. He also made that huge catch to save the Matt Clement game in June, then promptly hit a homer in the tenth to win it. Plus, he’s appeared on more daytime talk shows than Tom Cruise.

Manny for MVP?

MVP doesn’t really describe Manny Ramirez. Sure he’s one of the most feared hitters in baseball, leads the league in RBI’s and is hitting around .400 since the deadline, but can you really give Manny the "Most Valuable Player" award after his deadline parade. He may be the most valuable player on the field (and how can you not with that bloated contract), but his .286 average and defensive woes may be holding him back.

Ortiz for MVP?

Nobody is more clutch than David Ortiz. And don’t give the bull about DH’s not getting the MVP, this guy is about as valuable as it gets. His stats are insane with two outs and runners in scoring position, and if you ask any pitcher in the bigs who they’d rather face with the tying run at third and two outs, they’d probably face Manny over Ortiz. He’s the new face and popular character in Boston. Hell, he might be even more popular than Nomah in his prime. Papi defines what "valuable" means for a team.

Who will win it in the end? That bastard named Alex Rodriguez.

Back In The Saddle

2005-08-21T23:30:00.000-04:00

The journey is finally over. Three full weeks of no Red Sox games, having to result in following the bottom line like a madman and resorting to the 5 second Sox SC highlight to make room for the blueberry festival in Maine. The trip was great, though. We saw a game in Cleveland at the Jake, Philly’s new Citizens Bank Park (rained out after one, still got a cheese steak) and Camden. The Jake was the best- perfect weather, perfect seats, walk off homer and big comeback in a big game. But the crowd was about as loud as a courtroom. This is why Fenway is the one and only and shall never be compared.

Well, I’m back to Remy Land, finally, and I’m sorta going to recap what I’ve missed. I left just after the deadline and Manny didn’t get traded. The options on the board to get for Manny were worth vomiting on, so I’m really glad Theo didn’t pull the trigger. I mean, Mike Cameron, Huff and someone for Manny and a top prospect Anibal Sanchez. Morally and corruptly insane. Now we just push the "Manny being Manny" button and he’s back to pointing at the crowd, tipping his helmet and dancing in the dugout. I’ve come to this final conclusion: Manny Ramirez is a lunatic. A very rare lunatic that can hit a baseball 450 feet without trying.

The Sox promptly swept KC, with Schill recording a save in each game. The Manny return game came in a pinch hit situation, and he delivered the game winning ribbie and crowd just loved it. That was just the beginning of the KC losing streak that lasted 19 games, which unfortunately makes the Royals one of the worst teams ever to play pro baseball. I feel so sorry for Mike Sweeney (but don’t go to the Angels). The Sox then lost two of three to a hot Minnesota team. The series was full of horrible errors, mostly by Renteria and the big kahuna by Timlin, who blew the middle game with an awful, inexcusable and stupid throwing error. Bah.

The Texas series turned into a sweep, with the last one being a laugher on ESPN (I watched the last couple innings). Seriously, why hasn’t the Rangers front office even pushed for a starter in that dreadful rotation? What, does their ownership take after the Orioles? They’ve got to be the worst defensive team in baseball, too. We then took two impressive games against Chicago, with one game being postponed down 5-1 in the fourth. Hawk Harrelson must have loved that. The Detroit series was exciting, but mostly for the worse. Schill laid an egg in the first game, then Boomer gave up five in the first in the third game and they couldn’t come back. In a potential playoff preview, the Sox traveled to Anaheim and took a key two outta three, with Rent-A-Error hitting a clutch homerun and Manny providing insurance.

In that last game, Papelbon looked friggin impressive. This guy might be the future ace and it’s too bad he couldn’t get the W yesterday. As for the other players, well, Damon is leading the AL in hitting, so there’s not much to bitch about there. Manny and Ortiz are hitting the ball well, and even Edgah is climbing that average to around .280. Tek is consistently hitting, same with Mueller. And who died and made you Tony Graffanino!

I really can’t complain about the offense, it’s the pitching that’s in shambles. Schill goes back to the rotation and I just threw up in my mouth. Does he look ready? Not really, but they need him desperately. Wade Miller’s shoulder isn’t exactly as full strength, and Arroyo and Wake are struggling to say the least. The bullpen is on and off, I just want Manny Delcarmen back up in the bigs. Honestly though, Timlin will probably do fine closing. Now the Sox are off to KC, and I’m off to watch some NESN.

A Note

2005-07-31T21:47:00.000-04:00

Readers,

I'll be on vacation to many destinations in the next three weeks. When I return, I'll continue to write for the website. Go Sox!

Thanks, Zach

MannyGate

2005-07-29T23:56:00.000-04:00

ESPN: A proposed three-team deal involving the Boston Red Sox, New York Mets and Tampa Bay Devil Rays "hit a roadblock" Friday night, according to a baseball official familiar with the discussions.

The deal proposed would have sent unhappy Boston slugger Manny Ramirez and Tampa Bay closer Danys Baez to the Mets, with the Red Sox acquiring outfielder/designated hitter Aubrey Huff and outfielder Mike Cameron, and the Devil Rays getting two prospects apiece from the Mets and Red Sox.

A source said the Red Sox felt they could not go ahead with trading Ramirez and two prime prospects -- reportedly catcher Kelly Shoppach and right-hander Anibal Sanchez -- if all they were receiving was New York's Cameron and Tampa Bay's Huff. So they went back to the Mets "for more pieces," the source reported. At that point, the Mets "squashed the whole thing" and talks broke off.

Floyd? Looper? Please Theo, don't do this to us.

Burnett At Fenway?

2005-07-28T23:45:00.000-04:00

Some things that Theo may address at the deadline:

- Right Field?

With Trot Nixon probably out for a significant amount of time, the Sox won’t depend on the combination of Kapler, Stern and Hzydu to maintain the gap in right field. There have been some rumblings about Jose Cruz Jr. possibly coming to Boston, as he was designated for assignment yesterday. Cruz’s batting average is really low, but he gets on base a lot. Sort of reminds me another Mark Bellhorn if you reduce the strikeout rate. Bigbie is another option, but he’s in the division. I say the Sox either make a major push for Adam Dunn or grab Austin Kearns for some prospects from the Reds.

-The bullpen?

We all know Schilling will return to the rotation sooner or later, and who knows Keith Foulke’s timetable at this point? The biggest name floating out there is a possible Mueller for Romero or Mueller and Millar for Romero and Mays trade. The problem: the Red Sox don’t like Mays, are not too keen on giving up on Mueller and would rather get Kyle Lohse in the deal. If the Twins offer Lohse instead of Mays, then it becomes possible. Another rumor is that the Sox would trade Arroyo and Sanchez for Burnett, then ship Burnett to Philly for Billy Wagner. I don’t see that happening. It appears that the Devil Rays want too much for Danys Baez, also.

- Another starter?

Of course, Burnett is the leading candidate to be a Red Sock in the next week, especially with Clement going down. But that would mean trading Arroyo, Anibal Sanchez and possibly another player, and Theo may look another way. Mark Redman isn’t a bad alternative, although I can see this turning into another Jeff Suppan situation.

- Second base?

Alfonso Soriano is the big name. Some reports say that Tom Hicks wants to get rid of him, and others say the Rangers want to keep him. Regardless, I doubt the Red Sox would get involved, because it would most likely take Hanley Ramirez or pitcher Jon Lester to complete a blockbuster deal. But is Alex Cora and Tony Graffanino the world championship solution at that position? I don’t think so.

We could see a major makeover of this Red Sox team before the deadline. They have yet to find their identity in 2005, but maybe this will trigger something special where they go on a huge winning streak. Who knows? I just don’t know if I trust this group of guys to take the Sox to the promised land once again.

Decisions, Decisions

2005-07-27T23:39:00.000-04:00

Conversations between Brian Cashman and his assistant GM before making a big pitching sign/trade:

December 13, 2003

Cashman: What do you think of getting this Kevin Brown?

Assistant: The Dodgers are demanding an awful lot. It would probably take another talent pool from our farm system. At this route, we might not be able to field a team at the AA level, Brian.

Cashman: Why don’t we give them a major league guy? Like Weaver? He sucks..

Assistant: That may be true, but he’s extremely young and has boatloads of potential. Brown is getting up there in age and has a history of back problems.

Cashman: I’m sure he’ll be fine once he puts on pinstripes. With him in the rotation, it will give us an experienced ace that can win that big Game 7 against the Red Sox. What do those bastards want?

Assistant: Weaver, Brozaban and Weeden. A ton of cash, too.

Cashman: Who the hell is Brozaban?

Assistant: Brian, he’s one of our top prospects. Are you even aware that we have a farm system? I bet you can’t name one minor league team, well, maybe you can because all you do is ship them away.

Cashman: All I give a rats ass about is the Yankees. Tell them the deal is done. When this guy wins the Cy Young, you’ll thank me.

December 16, 2003

Cashman: Who should we purchase today, my man.

Assistant: Javy Vasquez is out there. There’s some issues, but with your state of mind, he’ll for sure be in New York by the end of this meeting!

Cashman: What issues?

Assistant: First off, he’s never played in a group of fans as big as 756, and they’re mostly made of Hooters waitresses and Canadian wrenches who couldn’t pronounced "sac bunt" without collapsing in laughter. Um, he started off slow in his career. I just smell a bad situation here.

Cashman: No, you’re crazy. Actually, this morning my scarf told me I should get the bastard. Anyway, he kills left handed hitters, something unusual for a young righty. The kid is a stud. He’s exactly the guy we’d want facing like…Johnny Damon or Mark Bellhorn in a pivotal Game 7. We’re the friggin Yankees, we can’t lose.

Assistant: Your confidence blows me away, Boss. I’ll get him.

Cashman: You know, those 79 Pirates jerseys we’re great.

December 20, 2004

Assistant: Sir, you don’t look too good.

Cashman: Ever since we’ve executed The Greatest, Biggest and Most Colossal Choke In The History Of Modern American Sports all I’ve eaten is stale corn bread and leftover cookies Billy Crystal made for me. I haven’t showered, shaved or seen the light of day. I spend my days watching Saved by the Bell and talking to my invisible cat, Yogi.

Assistant: Ouch.

Cashman: Who’s on the list?

Assistant: Carlos Beltran is the big guy on the market. He’s extremely young, is coming off a monster postseason, and fits the gap in center when Bernie wilts away. I think he’s a perfect fit in New York, and what better way to piss off Mets fans, huh.

Cashman: Don’t like him.

Assistant: What?

Cashman: You heard me. I want Carl Pavano and Jaret Wright.

Assistant: I mean, yeah, those guys had breakout seasons last year. But you have to look at the long term goal of this ballclub. Pavano and Wright will be another combined 16 mil, and they’ve had one good season their entire careers. Wright’s had more shoulder surgeries than my 96 year old grandmother. What, is one year wonder pitchers like your fetish or something?

Cashman: I don’t see why not.

Assistant: Listen, we got Randy in the bag after choking on our dicks and not getting him in the middle of last season. He’s the ace. We have Mussina, too. I just don’t trust these guys.

Cashman: I know exactly what I’m doing. Our training staff is the best in the game. Wright’s shoulder problems are behind him, and Pavano was one of the best in baseball last year. These guys are solid expenses. I mean, who do you want, some bum like Al Leiter? HA!

Assistant: I’m just gonna go throw up. Be right back.

Cashman: Make sure to wipe around the toilet.

Sweet Emotion

2005-07-26T23:28:00.000-04:00

That win took balls, heart and pride. That win took determination and the willingness to pull out a game for your teammates. It’s times like that where Johnny Damon decides to step up, make a game-saving catch, then pour seasoning on the chicken by blasting a go-ahead homer. Thank you, Jesus. And it’s Captain Tek never backing down in the ninth, helping lighten the lead with a homer of his own, making it a one run game and keeping me from doing an all-out collapse on the floor. It’s ball-busting moments like Mueller’s double down the line, or Edgah’s hits, or even the "never give up" attitude after Huff’s heart-wrenching salami sandwich. As Tom Petty would say, they won’t back down.

It’s games like these that punch you in the face and make you realize how lucky you were to indulge yourself into the bowels and deep depths of Red Sox Nation. The pitch-by-pitch nervousness, like your life depends on the win and all those guys have to save it. It started with Bucky Freakin Dent, then the 86 Buckner series. You may as well have just shot the Red Sox franchise dead forever. But, no, 2004 came around and it gave up hope. It was the wildest roller coaster ride of any Sox season, counting 1967, just because it ended in the historic choke/comeback, then the clean sweep of the Birds. World Champs, baby. It has a nice ring to it. I’m just happy I became a Sox fan.

Then 2005 came around and the Sox have been through many not so good times. The adventures of Keith Foulke as he jogs out of the bullpen. The complete meltdown of Alan Embree as a dirt dog and Sox reliable pitcher. Manny asking for a trade and hitting around .270. Mark Bellhorn’s struggles, eventually leading to this DL stint. Edgah and Boomah’s slow starts. But there also were the times you want to hug your Billy Mueller statue and jump around. Like Damon’s emergence as the best leadoff hitter in baseball. Or Papi and Manny fighting for the RBI and home run titles. And how bout Teky and Nixon having wicked awesome seasons. You gotta love that dirty water.

Tonight was the best win of the season. Period, no argument. The Red Sox battled through the loss of their Emancipator, Matt Clement, who made it through the Civil War, but couldn’t stand this blast to the head. Our prayers are with you, Matt, and please get better soon. It was just an all out scary play. The ball was roped, smashed and smoked in every way possible and it hit Clement right around the right ear. Apparently, he’s moving, is alert, and in good spirits. Good news.

Manny Delcarmen had a nice debut, leading to a two-run rally in the top of the ninth against solid closer Danys Baez. The two runs in the tenth also came off Baez. But these Schilling closing appearances are bordering Foulkey territory now. It’s never easy with him. Every time he gives up a run he has one of those looks like he just wants to fry his scrotum in a waffle maker. When he gets the job done, like tonight eventually, it’s all good in Sox Nation. But if not…maybe it is time to go to the rotation. Or is he not healthy?

This win may turn around the season. Sure it was against Tampa, but its these wins that unite the team for the stretch run and start off a nice winning streak. That would be like friggin cold medicine for me right now, a nice long streak. Wake takes the hill tomorrow. I expect a blowout.

I Bet You Think It's Funny, Lou

2005-07-25T23:57:00.000-04:00

Losing games to the Devil Rays just makes me want to vomit. I realize that’s it’s bound to happen once in a while, but damnit, this is just too much torture. After I heard we had blown this puppy (I was at a movie, yeah, I’m waiting for the lightning bolt) I almost chucked my computer chair across the room. There’s something about losing to the Devil Rays that burns a fire in my chest. I guess I just think the Sox have to win these games, and under no circumstances should they cough it up. Maybe I’m still feeling a little 2004 buzz, but so what.. Losing to the Devil Rays hurts. Real bad.

Another great game from Kevin Millar, though, just great! I really try to love the guy and go along with his whole "cowboy up, Sox nation represent, I love Boston" acting job, really, it almost reels me in daily. But he managed to boot a nice play from Edgah, and breaking news! Timlin lets in another inherited run and the Sox spoil a dramatic Damon pole shot. Where the hell was John Olerud? Was he too busy knitting a sweater in the clubhouse? Engaged in a rough game of Clue with Adam Hzydu? Putting more money in a parking meter? Wake up Tito, we need Johnny O in the game for the seventh, eighth and ninth. At all times. Just like that Eduardo Perez walk off game in April, this loss really stung me inside. All we can do is come out strong with Abe Lincoln on the hill and maybe our friggin offense can break out.

Some stuff brewing from the rumor mill. The Sox reportedly offered pitcher Bronson Arroyo and double-A stud pitcher Anibal Sanchez (who threw a 2-hitter recently) for A.J. Burnett, and Mike Lowell was not included. Can it be any more obvious that nobody in their right mind would take on Lowell’s contract, especially when he’s hitting .234 and his career might be over. Also, Everyday Eddie would wave his no-trade clause to come to Boston, but it appears Seattle wants way too much. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Sox resort to former White Sox reliever Shingo Takatsu. And RotoWorld reports Manny Ramirez is unhappy in Boston and wants to be traded. Again. Just another Manny mood swing, don’t make anything of it (shuddering with horror).

And I almost forgot, Millar was 0 for 4 with 3 K’s and 4 left on base. Beautiful. And Mr. Papi, please wake up and smell the coffee. We need a huge game out of you tonight.

Lay Off

2005-07-24T23:48:00.000-04:00

Note to any doubters of this team: Stop worrying. The Sox are going to be just fine. Their best baseball is still ahead of them, remember that 20-of-22-or-whatever-it-was streak they pulled out of their hats last August? The deadline is soon here, pitching needs to be taken care of by King Theo, then we’re off to another one of those runs where the team comes together and plays great baseball. The Red Sox will win the division and will make a run in the playoffs. Stop doubting these guys.

Arroyo and Miller should have better second halves, considering they don’t get traded first. Tek is smashing the ball, Edgah is playing better and better every day and Trot is still in a groove. And when Manny and Papi get hot at any given time, just watch out. The schedule is also favorable- with six of nine against Tampa and the RoyAAAls and a four series home stretch in late August- early September. Whether the Sox get Burnett, Romero, Wagner, Wickman or whoever Theo manages to trade for, it’ll work out and improve the club. And we have Alex Cora (ha).

I’d also like to see what that hyped first round pick Craig Hansen has to offer. Maybe Jon Papelbon? There are a lot of questions heading into this last week before the deadline. Any requests?

Proudly Joining The Alex Cora Fan Club

2005-07-23T22:56:00.000-04:00

Something about the guy I really like…sure, you can call it a man crush, I don’t care.

Another scrappy win for the Red Sox, beating the best team in baseball 3-0 at the little league park known as U.S. Cellular Field. Is it just me, or does every single flyball to the outfield have a chance to leave the stadium? The outfields look way too small, and its turned into drama every time Konerko or Rowand makes solid contact. Almost as bad as Houston. Anyway, I shouldn’t be complaining, because Manny took advantage of the small park with an opposite field lined shot in the first inning off El Dookie. Actually, Mr. Hernandez would completely shut down the Red Sox offense the rest of the night. Tek hit a solo popup in the ninth, and thank god for that or the Schilling Expirement Part III would have been a whole lot more ball-busting. The Red Sox got a huge double play on a grounder back to Schill, and the curtain closed on a nice Boston win. Yess.

But the real star tonight was Wade Miller. I was getting pretty fed up with his performances lately- shaky first innings with too many pitches thrown, tiring early in the fifth and sixth, getting behind and walking too many batters, and giving up long balls, especially on the road. But tonight Wade only walked a few early in the game, kept his pitch count relatively low and simply dominated. Zero earned runs. Got out a few jams. Great effort from Miller tonight.

As always, Myers and Timlin got out the batters they faced. Even with the offense cooled down on a hot night in Chi-Town, the boys got it done. Supposed to be 100 degrees tomorrow at the field, and quite frankly, I can’t wait.

Manny, You Are The Man

2005-07-21T23:10:00.000-04:00

It took a little fight, it took a little heart, it took a little panic, but the Red Sox took down the White Sox in a battle of more than socks. The game was about coming up in the clutch- first Crede’s double tying the game at five, then Manuel Aristides smashing a monstrous homerun to left center, then Schilling coming on for the 1-2-3 save that was much sweeter than the previous inning. I gotta hand it to my guys…everyone played a role in this one run win, and that’s usually what you need in close games. You need every single player to execute properly, deliver in big times and come together at the end for the victory.

The Sox fell behind 4-2 after homers from Konerko and Roward, but took the lead in the seventh on a Kevin Millar sac fly 5-4. Schill strolls out from the bullpen and throws a great full count pitch to Crede, which he drives the other way to tie it at five with a double. Fine. He made a nice pitch, and Crede poked it to right. Nothing you can do but tip your cap and maybe kick some dirt around. But the offense would bail him out. Manny, after nearly fouling out when Joe Crede dropped a catch-able popup (biggest play of the game) got his pitch and killed it. For the entire night, Manny was just waiting and waiting for that one pitch he can hammer. He was talking walks, maintaining a great eye, staying ready for that one pitch he knows will end up in the seats. As Stu Scott would say…BOO YAH!

As the Red Sox play the White Sox, it’s only appropriate for me to rant about the White Sox announcers. I’ve heard these guys numerous times on WGN and Extra Innings, and they just plain suck. They’re so much more like fans than announcers, its not even funny. They spend the entire game openly rooting for their own players (Come on, Joe! Come on, Juan, big hit here!), it becomes sickening by the seventh inning. Then the YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE BOARD….YES!! makes me vomit all over the sofa and have irregular bowel movements. And to top it off, they just complain, bitch and moan about the umpiring every single game. If any borderline call doesn’t go the White Sox way, all hell breaks lose. It just goes to show how important Remdawg and Orsillo are to my life.

Gotta love the one run win.

Bon Voyage

2005-07-20T15:34:00.000-04:00

After years of loyal service to the Boston Red Sox, Alan Embree has been designated for assignment, marking the end of a nice run for the veteran in a Sox uniform. That is, until this year. Embree has run into a brick wall this season, posting an ERA enormously higher than his career average, and giving up moonshot after moonshot. Every time he runs out from that bullpen, I let out a sigh of frustration and get ready for the lead to be blown. I just sit back and watch it happen. I don’t know what happened to Alan, but this year he didn’t have the confidence or the stuff.

But we’ll always remember him as the guy that capped off the biggest and greatest comeback in American sports history, along with the biggest and greatest choke job. He was standing on the mound with two outs in the ninth, Ruben Sierra at the plate, and the Red Sox with a 10-3 lead and on their way to a World Series while running dead over the Yankees tracks. He delivered the pitch, Sierra grounded out to Pokey, and the rest is history. Tek jumped into Alan’s arms, ending not only the most exciting series in recent memory, but ultimately ending Embree’s joy in a Sox uniform. He’d play almost no part in the World Series, and this year he’s been an afterthought when solid bullpen pitchers are mentioned. His buddy Mike Timlin has taken that role.

And that’s too bad. Embree was always a likable guy with that big wad of tobacco and farmers appearance. He always seemed like he should be planting corn in the middle of an Iowa farm with overalls and a cowboy hat on, not delivering 91 mph fastballs to Sheff and Matsui in the eighth inning. He was intimidating to the hitters with that serial-killer type glance. I wouldn’t want to face him last year, that’s for sure. He was always that reliable lefty that Tito could turn to for a couple outs in a big game.

I bet he finds his stuff and confidence on a new team. I wish him the best of luck, and I’m sure he’ll get his career back on the right track before he goes Donnie Moore and winds up in some prison, eating lunch with a guy named Bubby and sleeping on a cement floor. With a smaller market like Milwaukee, Kansas City or Arizona, he can play looser and have less pressure exerted on him every game. Good luck, Alan.

Sox Trade Rumors

2005-07-19T15:30:00.000-04:00

-The Phillies have made Billy Wagner available, and the Red Sox are interested in him, the Philadelphia Inquirer reports. Bill Lajoie, the Sox special assistant to the general manager, was in Philadelphia over the weekend, keeping an eye on the Phillies closer.

Wagner is open to a move, the Philadelphia Daily News reports. "I definitely would be disappointed [if the Phillies are out of it] and I wasn't traded," Wagner told the newspaper. "[GM] Ed Wade didn't bring me here to pitch for a team that's selling. It's unfathomable to think I wouldn't be traded if we don't have a chance for the wild card."

-According to the Minneapolis Star Tribune, the Red Sox have called the Twins looking for pitching and are believed to be interested in left-hander J.C. Romero, who could help stabilize a bullpen that had a 5.51 ERA entering Monday -- the second-highest in the American League.

The Twins are looking for hitting, and the Red Sox might be willing to deal veteran third baseman Bill Mueller, who is batting .277 with four homers, 36 RBI and a .379 on-base percentage. He is making $2.5 million and will be a free agent after the season.

First baseman-outfielder Kevin Millar also is available, although he has indicated he would prefer to stay with the World Series champions.

-The Red Sox have shown interest in acquiring veteran second baseman Tony Graffanino from the Royals, the Boston Herald reports. The Sox unsuccessfully attempted to sign the 33-year-old as a free agent two winters ago, but the Royals are expected to try to pare their larger salaries (Graffanino makes $1.1 million) in the upcoming weeks.

Graffanino's versatility -- he plays all four infield positions -- and experience make him valuable.

- According to the Boston Herald, the Red Sox might have some interest in reliever Shingo Takatsu, who was designated for assignment by the White Sox on Monday. Takatsu was 6-4 with 19 saves in 20 chances and a 2.31 ERA in 59 appearances last season, but he's 1-2 with eight saves and a 5.97 ERA this year.

-According to the Hartford Courant, Red Sox first baseman Kevin Millar has made it clear he doesn't want to be traded. "I can't imagine going anywhere else. I really couldn't," he told the newspaper. "I feel like, seriously, I've been here for 10 years. This is it."

Millar, in the final year of his contract, has been the subject of trade rumors since late May. He insists he has never asked to be traded. "You know as well as I know, if I was unhappy, I'd go and tell you I was unhappy," Millar said. "I haven't said one thing. Let me just make it real easy. When I hit, I'm a hell of a defensive first baseman. If I don't hit, I'm below average, I'm a defensive nuisance."

-According to the Boston Globe, the Red Sox like Brewers setup man Matt Wise, but Milwaukee reportedly is willing only to trade Ricky Bottalico.

-Miguel Batista of the Blue Jays is available, but Toronto GM J.P. Ricciardi is believed to have asked for top prospect Hanley Ramirez in return, the same player Tampa Bay GM Chuck LaMar wants for closer Danys Baez.

-Johnny Damon knows he can expect a call from the Yankees this winter after he becomes a free agent, the Journal News reports. "My first preference is Boston, and they know it," Damon told the newspaper. "But I know how this works. I am not closing the door on anything. I would listen to what anybody has to say."

-Even before Mark Bellhorn suffered a sprained left thumb in the Red Sox' 5-3 loss to the Yankees on Sunday, there were signs that his tenure as the team's second baseman was in danger of coming to an end, the Providence Journal reports. There have been inquiries about some utility types (including Kansas City's Tony Graffanino), but the price -- before Bellhorn's injury -- was deemed too high. Alfonso Soriano would be a huge upgrade, and the Rangers are known to be shopping him.

Source: ESPN Insider Rumor Central

Thanks A Lot, Scott

2005-07-18T23:56:00.000-04:00

Things are not going too swimmingly in Red Sox Nation. Currently as I type this sentence, I’m electrocuting my nipples and frantically banging my head against the desk. The hellish, devil-spirited, freakin Yankees are in first place, and the Red Sox have stooped as low as tying the Orioles for second. Last night was the biggest roller coaster ride of the season, and I’m not just talking about the Sox game. Things started off well, but Kazmir settled in, and after I had passed out numerous times, the Sox were down 3-1 late in the game. After Lou’s brigade, I woke up and began to pray to my Bill Mueller statue. Didn’t work. Sox lost, and Damon’s hitting streak was snapped.

The night wasn’t over. The Yankees were up 9-5, but a nice two run rally gave the Rangers hope at 9-7 in the sixth. The next batter hits a routine popup to Bernie in center, and my friends and I let out a collective groan in disgust. There goes the rally, and Rivera is already pacing around in the bullpen. But, Bernie drops the ball, and the Rangers tie it at nine. The place went crazy. We were laughing, pointing, jumping, dancing, starting random Yankees Suck chants and putting up Yankees Choke posters outside of my house. After a Soriano single, it was 10-9 Rangers and life was good again.

Thanks to Extra Innings, we also followed the Orioles-Twins game. We watched BJ Ryan blow a save and the Twins tied it at two in the ninth. Sweet, maybe the Sox will remain in first after all. But then the night went downhill, starting with the Orioles winning the game on a Tejada homerun, then Sierra doubling in two as the Yankees took a 11-10 lead. We were on our hands and knees, hoping, praying for a Rangers miracle, but the damn Rivera is just too good. Night ruined.

To make matters worse, it looks like the Orioles have won the AJ Burnett Sweepstakes. They add a nice starter to complement Bedard, Lopez, Chen and whoever else kills the Red Sox every time we meet. But for the Sox, this is a really big game tonight, with Boomer taking the hill against former Sock Casey Fossum. Let’s shake this off and keep the faith. The Sox will be in first place when the night ends.

The Recipe For A Heart Attack

2005-07-17T23:59:00.000-04:00

The game started off poorly. Posada unexpectedly went deep, but I just shook it off because Wake is the man. Then the red hot Sheffield strolled to the plate, menacing, evil grin and all, and delivered a shot into the Fenway air. Now the Sox are down 4-0, it’s early in the game, and the rejuvinated Al Leiter is pitching the game of his life. Thanks to MLB Extra Innings, I’ve seen Leiter get hammered, pounded and brutally tortured by opposing lineups, and now he looks like the second coming of Luis Tiant. What the hell is going on here? This is 53 year old Al Leiter and the Sox lineup looks about as confused as my dad after the vegetable casserole was placed on the dinner table. This can’t be happening.

I thought it was over. Sure I kept the faith and tried to delve myself in Rice Krispie Treats (shut up) to try and ease the pain, but it was just too much. The Yankees were about to close to ½ game in the standings, doing it in our park, on our turf, in our city. Saying they’re dangerous would be a big understatement. A-Rod goes deep again, and just as Jon Miller and Joe Morgan are about to kiss his ass once more, I turn the television off and walk away. No smashing mirrors or running around the house with a firecracker. No ambulances or praying sessions. Fine, we lost, lets go watch Faith Rewarded.

But, noooo, some internal creature told me to watch the game. That was the right thing to do. Under any circumstances, I promised myself after the ALCS, I would never give up on the Red Sox. With the help of some drugs, the next thing I knew, Manny hit a homer and Rivera was in the game. Psh. No big deal. The fat lady is way past singing. But a Nixon double play turns into a throwing error. Varitek and The Pro single. Wait, what? The bases are loaded? Nobody out? The Sox are down two?

I had faith in Alex Cora. Sure he was hitting .200 and may have been clipping his toenails in the clubhouse just a few innings ago, but…you know, he can do it! I figured that Damon was coming up next, and he’d win it for the Sox, so just try to avoid the double or triple play. That’s right, I had already assumed Damon would win the game and was pondering the possibility of a triple day. Speak of the devil, Cora grounds into a 5-2-3 double play. He was probably safe.

At that point, I was beyond dizziness. My knees had given out, I sunk to the ground, let out a moan, and just stared at the floor. It wasn’t over, right? But all of a sudden the Yanks have the confidence back. One more out. Damon curiously swings at the first pitch, grounds it softly to Cano, and the game is over. The AL East is closer than ever.

Hey, look at the bright side, we get Lou and his D’Rays for a little home cookin’. Niiiice.Just another day in the life of a Red Sox fan.

While The Lead Slips Away...

2005-07-16T18:16:00.000-04:00

Doesn't that just make you sick.

Yesterday, the boys executed a nice ass whooping on those Yankees. That’s all fine and dandy, until you stink it up the next day. I couldn’t wait for the game to start. It seemed perfect. Nice day, Sox coming off another 17-1 thumping, maybe a winning streak on the way? Of course not. Finally, the Emancipator came out sloppy and somehow lost any clue of where the strike zone might be, then the Yankee bats pounced on him for good. He cut down on the walks this season, but today his normal flaw became evident.

Back to last night, which was probably the most satisfying game of the season. It was at Fenway, against the Yankees, and the Sox won by sixteen runs. Not too shabby. The best part of last night? Seeing the Yankees follow Tim Redding in the second inning with some guys named Proctor, Anderson, Groom and Whoever. You’d think with a 208 million dollar payroll they could afford a solid bullpen. Jeez, Tanyon friggin Sturtze is their man before Flash and Mariano. After Nixon’s inside the park job (which by the way was a sharp-hit ball which zoomed away at the last second, and was not entirely Melky’s fault), Papi made a salami sandwich of his own just for good measure. You think Yankee fans enjoy that man’s presence?

Today was a little different. After Clementine got that 3-0 pitch on Bernie to be called an extremely low strike, and then he eventually K’d him later in the at-bat, I thought today would go our way. Clement had thrown 270,000 straight balls before that pitch, but with the help of Bruce got that strikeout, then retired the next two batters on strikeouts. But the third inning didn’t turn out so well. The Yanks poured six on, and that was pretty much the ballgame. The Sox rallied to cut it to 6-4 during a nice effort by Jeremi Gonzalez, but the Yanks won 7-4 in the end. Perfect day ruined.

The Yankees did pick up Al Leiter to start tomorrow night. Ha. Sox = kick major pinstripe ass.

(Johnny up to 28!!!!)

Expirement Gone Wrong

2005-07-15T15:25:00.000-04:00

It’s never a good sign when:

A) your team scores four in the first inning, but you know the opponent will eventually make it a game
B) your starter is pulled with a one run lead, but yet there’s a pretty good shot you won’t win the game
C) the opposing team ties it at six in the eighth inning, and you know your team is going to lose

Who gives me these shocks of insecurity and woefulness? Who makes me look up to the sky, throw out a few expletives and go read a chapter from Faithful? When that bullpen door opens, the fans, the crowd, the drunk retired garbage men sitting at home- they all let out a collective “yelp.” Not the kind of yelp you hear when someone blows a horn in your earlobe, it’s the kind of yelp that you hear a six year old scream in those horror movies. I swear, they can’t make a scary movie anymore without a little girl screaming.

To make it even worse, it doesn’t help when the manager has absolutely no clue how to use the bullpen. In the top of the seventh inning, Embree came in and gave up a screaming line drive out to Sheffield, then a sharp deep groundball out to Giambi under the shift. Fine. Bring in Timlin to START the inning, where he’s been nearly perfect this year, and whatever you do, DO NOT LET ALAN EMBREE THROW ANOTHER PITCH! Whadyaknow, Embree comes on to start the eighth and surrenders a double to Posada, then Tito wakes up from his nap and brings in Timlin, who would eventually let pinch runner The Artist Formerly Known As Tony Womack score.

Move to the start of the ninth inning, where Timlin has only thrown eight pitches and has, by far, been your most reliable pitcher out of the bullpen this season. You’ve got two righties coming up in Sheffield and A-Rod. Timlin has to be the guy, right. Nope, he goes with a pitcher who hasn’t thrown a major league pitch since April. Bingo! Great move Tito! Bring in a guy who’s used to throwing to guys named Jimmy Knevel and Marko Blatcher and let him go after Sheff and A-Rod. In the ninth inning. In a tie game. You all know what happened next.

I’m not blaming the loss on Tito. I’m just saying that he could have prevented the game from getting worse, but it was the players performance that blew the game. Arroyo letting the lead back on ten hits. As mentioned before, Timlin letting that runner in and Embree not doing the job. The offense calming down late in the game, besides an Ortiz homerun. Props to Damon for extending his hitting streak, though.

Tim Redding vs. David Wells tonight. Go Sox.

Red Sox vs. Yankees...'Nuff Said

2005-07-14T14:03:00.000-04:00

Heading into this series against the Yankees, I have mixed feelings. I’m probably not alone in Red Sox Nation when I say that. Sure, I feel confident that the guys will come through, I just realize how hungry and determined the Yankees are to take back the division. Before the break, we were the ones reeling and they were the ones winning. With their pitching staff and aging bullpen that hasn’t helped one bit, I think it’s miraculous that the Yanks are only 2.5 games out of the division lead. Same with the Orioles staff, it’s surprising that they are only 2 games behind the Sox. So now is the perfect opportunity so create some ground, beat our rivals on our home turf, and make them realize that these Sox really can win this thing.

For the Red Sox to take this series, the bottom of the order must step up. This is vital. Guys like Bellhorn, Mueller and Millar have to start hitting the baseball, because Manny, Ortiz and Damon can’t do all the work against the Yankees. If one of them struggles and the bottom guys are not doing the job, we could be in serious trouble. Also, it’s time for Alan Embree to have a solid series because he’s done it before in big situations. Maybe Schill out of the pen will turn out to be a disaster. Maybe it will turn out to be a gold mine. We may find out this weekend.

In other Sox news, Theo traded complaining Jay Payton to the Athletics for submariner Chad Bradford, who could come off the DL and pitch for us sooner than later. Bradford is a Moneyball product that’s spent his career in Oakland, but probably would not mind switching to a contender. And poor Youk is back down to Pawtucket. Maybe they’ll trade Millar and Youk can come back up, he’s definitely major league ready.

Theo recently came out and said that he wants to keep many of his top prospects to build a solid team for the future, something that I completely agree with. He doesn’t want to get rid of talented prospects for players he can rent for four months and quickly lose to free agency. It’s much more soothing to know that the Red Sox will be in the hunt for a long time, partly because of their money situation and partly because of the depth in the minor leagues. It may not be one of the best, but we’ve sure got some talent down there. I just wish we could get that Craig Hansen guy signed.

Bronson vs. Mussina tonight. I’m scared.

Hey Now You're An All Star

2005-07-12T16:22:00.000-04:00

Is it just me, or did Damon look drunk off his ass last night during that interview with Sam Ryan? Varitek was in his usual professional state of mind, but holy crap, I kept waiting for Damon to ask Ryan for a kiss. Good old Johnny.

Portland Sea Dogs pitcher Jon Lester struck out 14 in a complete game one-hitter last night, totaling his strikeouts to 25 over the last two games. That’s so very impressive, Theo may call Lester up to AAA Pawtucket and a possible trip to the bigs this season could be on the horizon. Lester has been talked about as one of the best players in the Sox organization, but it seems he’s catching fire right about now. This could ultimately mean he is the big key to a trade for either bullpen help or another starter. Right now, I hope he stays on the club.

Big Papi finished fourth in the home run derby last night. He put up an amazing 17 on the board in the first round, but in the second he looked tired and fatigued. It’s okay, Papi’s 17 was the second most all-time in a single round. The most? Abreu’s 24 last night, including a tape measure rope that reached 517 feet in the thick air and big ballpark in Detroit. It was also fun to see Tejada, Vlad and other Dominican friends (then again, who doesn’t love Ortiz) jump around and playfully feed him water during his first round performance. I still hate Tejada, sorry.

The All-Star game is tonight, in case you haven’t heard. And oh yeah, IT COUNTS! Tito put Damon in the leadoff spot, and rightfully so. Manny and Ortiz are the 3-4 hitters, and Tek gets the #8 spot. Let’s represent the World Champs tonight and get us some more home cookin’ this October. But more than anything else, I hope Clemens gets his head beaten in like last year. I love this game!

Mojo Mentality

2005-07-11T15:38:00.000-04:00

If that doesn't lighten up your day, I don't know what will.

On Saturday and Sunday, I came home at night, took a shower, grabbed a snack and headed over to the computer. The next thing I knew, I was blankly staring at the scoreboard on ESPN.com, clearly showing that the Red Sox had faltered in Baltimore once again. The house of horrors. Fenway Park South, somewhat of a cursed building in the last few years for the Sox, as they continue to struggle against those Orioles. But this year is different. This year the Orioles are not flailing around .500, barely staying alive, and getting just pure joy in beating the Red Sox for fun. This year they want and believe they can win the AL East.

At this point in the season, I think the Red Sox should be at least six games up. If not for the friggin bullpen, that might be the case. But with the Yankees running on a rotation where Cheing-Ming Wang is their third reliable starter, and Pavano, Wright and Brown are all on the DL, it’s scary to think they’re only two and a half games back. And the Orioles now have the momentum, with Miguel Tejada driving the horse and carriage to another winning streak. This series upcoming against the Yankees is absolutely and positively humongous. We can’t let them get any closer, or I’ll start dry heaving once again.

Maybe Curt will provide a spark. Who knows? But these lovable bastards better wake up, hit the alarm clock and go out and play first place baseball. Enough of Millar going 0 for 3 game after countless game, or Trot Nixon throwing in the occasional 0 for 5 game with an error. Johnny Damon might win the batting title this year, let’s feed off his tremendous year and win some ballgames. He’s the best catalyst in baseball. I don’t give a shiznit if he’s playing for a massive contract.

Papi in the Home Run Derby tonight. Can’t wait.

KFC Sucks Anyway

2005-07-08T02:13:00.000-04:00

There’s not many players on the Boston Red Sox that I dislike. Actually, I love them all like my brothers, even though they don’t know me and all. But really, I wish them the best at all times, live and die with their at-bats and miscues, yell and scream at the television after Mark Bellhorn strikes out, and I even installed that new window glass so my fist doesn’t hurt as much when I give it a nice slug. Really, I’d do anything for these guys. Mostly with this likable bunch of idiots, it seems my love affair has only gotten stronger. Back on those Jimy Williams teams, there were plenty of players I’d rather see dumping garbage into a blue truck than pitching in the September race. Now, I just adore the entire pack.

But, there’s a slight hindrance. I’ll give you a hint: his first name is Kevin and his last name is Millar. This guy is looking more awful and delusional at the plate every night. It’s sickening to see a rejuvenated and defensive star in John Olerud sit on the bench while Millar half-swings at fastball right down the middle and tiptoes his way back to the dugout. What the hell, didn’t he gain 15 pounds of muscle over the off season? Isn’t he supposed to be improved after getting the nod over Minky over the winter? Millar ranks near the lower portion in the league in both on-base percentage and slugging. His 33 RBI’s are pitiful for a guy that hits after Ortiz and Manny. He has four homeruns in more than 250 at-bats. He’s supposed to be a power hitter, right? Or are the Brandy Alexander’s starting to kick in?

I was arguing with a Millar-lover tonight, and he brought up the fact that I was ranting about Millar, but not Bill Mueller, who has only four homers and 34 ribbies. After looking at the stats, I noticed Mueller has more runs, a better batting average, slugging, on-base, more doubles, triples and is an improvement defensively. The biggest mind-scratcher is that Mueller hits eighth in the order and Millar hits fifth, after Ortiz and Manny. How does the eighth hitter in the order out-slug, out-hit and complete out-play the number five hitter, who sees his fair share of pitches with the RBI kings of the league in front of him. Shouldn’t he be seeing the fattest pitches of his career right now?

To get me even more fired up, I read today that Millar, after Theo picked up Olerud, asked to be traded because of A) he was sucking and didn’t want any competition and B) he’s a whiny, crybaby loser at times who holds too many grudges, He said on WEEI that he only talks to reporters that practically “make friends” with him and don’t write any negatives words about Kevin. Pretty lame, I think. The Cowboy Up, 2004 Believing and all that other good stuff is quickly being washed down the toilet. So, I say, trade Millar and his unproductive behind and let him rot in Oakland.

Even with those reasons, you may think my fuming is a bit juvenile. Not needed. Stupid. Senseless. But look deeper than this. When the ownership tries to improve the team, he becomes threatened and does something he may regret. They’re just supposed to watch you flail around at pitches every game without taking some action? I love what Kevin brings to the clubhouse every day, and how he lightens up the team with his humor and joking. It’s really good for the team. What’s not good for the team is his performance on the field. It’s starting to get ugly.

One of the main reasons I hoped we’d keep Millar over Minky in the off-season was because of how he belongs in the center of the team chemistry, and how he always has something funny to say. But who cares about that anymore, really. We’ve got enough of those guys. When he opened up his mouth and said that the Sox took shots of Jack Daniels before the ALCS games, the ownership was already pissed. And if this “asking for a trade” rumor is actually true, then he’s already got one foot out the door.

Any first basemen on the market?

Cooperative Curt

2005-07-07T01:29:00.000-04:00

It looks as though Curt Schilling, the big man with the bloody sock, the guy who always has a distinct and clear opinion on issues fluttering around our universe, will pitch from the bullpen for as long as the regular season. Yes, you read that correctly. Curt Schilling, last years twenty game winner and playoff hero, will hang out with the farm boys in the pen, chew some tobacco, sign autographs for hot chicks and warm up next to Mike Timlin and Alan Embree. Sounds a bit out of the ordinary. The pandemonium and yelling when Schill enters a game for a possible save would be life-threatening, especially if they play Enter Sandman to go along with it. This could be a fun experiment.

And I completely approve of the decision. There’s not a particle in my noggin that believes this may not go down too well. If he wants to be the next John Smoltz, then word on that G. Tito and Theo figured that Schilling’s ankle, mental and physical state were probably not ready to maintain the strength and toughness it takes to pitch seven or eight innings in the big leagues- at least for right now. He’s very rusty, isn’t having enormous success in his rehab starts, and pulling a bona-fide major league starter from the rotation isn’t exactly a great offer on the table. Whether it be Miller Time, Wake or Cornroyo.

Did I mention that Curt Freakin Schilling is pitching in the bullpen? Do you have any idea how much this improves our biggest need? I don’t care if he’s connected by screws and his ankle isn’t anywhere to major league ready, even though it is, it’s still an improvement from “Suicide” Embree and “Plaster My Walls With Foulke Sucks” Keith Foulke. Petey Gammons said on SportsCenter today that he might end up playing the role as big game closer, something that leaves me beaming. Maybe I’m a little bit too high on this situation, but whatever. We’re four games up.

That reminds me, the Sox did play tonight, and came out on the victor side again. The roadies have won nine of ten away from the Fens, Damon extended his hitting streak to 22, Papi provided us with another “holy shiznit, he did not hit the ball that freakin far” homerun, and Manny and Sveum even added some comedy over a base running issue. I love this team.

To put icing on the cake, Jeter and Matsui both lost out on the last All-Star vote. I also learned that Ortiz will participate in this years Home Run Derby. Huge series coming up with the Orioles this weekend, lets get Boomer massive run support early and grab the momentum.

Lowe And Behold

2005-07-06T02:10:00.000-04:00

Dear Stupid Diary,

Why did I leave those guys? Huh, can you give me a friggin explanation of how money and stupidity overrode friendships and fun. I’ll face it, I sucked last year. My ERA was imploding, the fans were extremely impatient with me, and those trips to the clubhouse bar in between innings didn’t help one bit. But hey, who can pass up a good shot of gin just before Dave Wallace lectures me about arm angles and how to perfect my slide step. Like I need his bull. I’m making more money than he ever will.

But couldn’t Theo have at least given me another chance with a solid offer? Why wasn’t I more aggressive and why did I think that another city would be better? The entire Dodger team is going down the toilet. First Milton Bradley, whose great, great uncle invented Monopoly. Then Gagne, the Canadian idiot, now J.D. Drew. That’s a massive chunk of the club right there, folks. Check, please.

My ERA is lower than last year (if it wasn’t, I’d probably find myself waiting tables at Brandy Liverpool’s Bar and Grill), but I’m 5-9, getting minimal run support and the Dodgers are losing. Dodger Stadium is kinda crappy too, I’m not gonna hide that from anyone. But, damnit, I miss the hugs and Papi and the pressure and Fenway and the city and the billboards and believing and the playoffs and really good seafood. Hell, L.A. is a great place to live, but I want to see the guys. Badly.

Even some of these precious Dodger fans booed me after I got roughed up recently, while one of the reasons I left Boston was because of the non-stop pressure of performing on a high level. But now I find myself needing that push, needing that extra hop in my step, needing Gabe Kapler to take his shirt off and his custom-made spotlight to shine on his right nipple.

Nine losses before the All-Star break means that I’ll probably…um…well, half of….plus nine…I’m on pace for seventeen, no, eighteen losses. EIGHTEEN! Star Jones hasn’t been able to drop eighteen pounds without at least one Mars bar. Billy Joel hasn’t even gotten into eighteen car crashes yet. And there’s not even eighteen Starbucks on my block. But yet, I may have eighteen losses.

That would be absolutely demoralizing to me. I haven’t been this anxious since before Game 4 of the World Series. Man, that was a time. When the fans greeted me during that wicked awesome ring ceremony back in April, well, I felt a special bond between me and the Boston fans that can only be divided by John Kruk. Sorry if I sound like my usual crybaby ways, but this sucks.

With a frown,
$7 Million Dollar Man Derek Lowe

Bitter Defeat

2005-07-05T17:21:00.000-04:00

At my cousins house, Red Sox baseball isn’t exactly a number one priority. Why these people don’t indulge in the beauty of being a member of Sox Nation is beyond me, but last night I found my lonesome self pacing around the room while Keith Foulke introduced my head to the nearest wall. I got to the crib and flicked on the tube, much to the dismay of my fellow family members, and began rampaging around the place, twirling my hand around my head and telling my crew to do the “wave” when Manny hit one to deeeep center. Then it all went downhill from there.

Timlin gave up a run, and quickly Foulke entered the game and blew it. Good times, but more bad times with Foulkey this season, who seems to be lashing out his anger more on WEEI than on the mound. Sadly, he may be losing his job faster than originally thought, as he keeps piling on the bad performances like Ben Affleck. I’d really like to pick up that
Danys Baez from Tampa, even though he is a Devil Ray.

I did catch that All-Star selection show to learn that Clement hadn’t made the team, all because of the rule that every team has to send one player. As a fan, I want to see the best players from any team battle it out on one field, not a guy like Justin Duchsshshshser (even though he is having an impressive season) over a guy like Sammy Sosa or Ken Griffey Jr. or even Barry Bonds on crutches. Unless Mr. Rogers is dealing with his appeal and can’t make it, looks like
Abe will be watching from his Springfield estate.

Congrats to Johnny, Manny, Papi and Tek for making the starting squad. And after a tough loss in Texas last night, I’ll try to watch most of the contest tonight. Also, take a look at this midterm review (thanks to Surviving Grady for the image):

Representing The American League

2005-07-01T11:55:00.000-04:00

I’ve spent way too much time wavering back and forth between certain All-Star candidates, deserving players and possible snubs. I’ve looked up the stats, considered possible scenarios in the actual game, and even followed the skewered rules. First, you have to select one player from each team, only a deaf monkey wouldn’t know that. Second, the fan votes for starters on the team will be automatically added, followed by the players and manager additions and the final vote of five choices on MLB.com. Here it goes:

American League Starting Lineup (based on the fans vote):

1. 2B Brian Roberts, Orioles (.365, 13 HR, 44 RBI, 1.054 OPS)

He gets the leadoff role, even though Damon might get it because Roberts can drive in some runs lower in the order. And Francona is the manager.

2. RF Vladimir Guerrero, Angels (.351, 14 HR, 54 RBI, 1.016 OPS)

This guy is a machine. He was out for, what, three weeks and he’s got those numbers?? Are you kidding??

3. 3B Alex Rodriguez, Yankees (.329, 20 HR, 66 RBI, 1.013 OPS)
4. DH David Ortiz, Red Sox (.304, 19 HR, 66 RBI, .960 OPS)
5. LF Manny Ramirez, Red Sox (.276, 19 HR, 68 RBI, .909 OPS)
6. SS Miguel Tejada, Orioles (.322, 19 HR, 60 RBI, .968 OPS)

Tejada gets more votes than fan-favorite Jeter, something that baffles me. Everyone loves Jeter.

7. 1B Mark Teixeira, Rangers (.291, 22 HR, 64 RBI, .930 OPS)
Wow, the Rangers have a bright future. If only they could get some pitching.

8. C Jason Varitek, Red Sox (.310, 13 HR, 33 RBI, .934 OPS)
9. CF Johnny Damon, Red Sox (.339, 3 HR, 41 RBI, .846 OPS)

Johnny’s not in Kansas City anymore. The Caveman inches past Ichiro on the last day (according to Boston.com) and gets the last starting position.

And for the reserves (my choice):

C Ivan Rodriguez, Tigers (.295, 5 HR, 29 RBI, .758 OPS)

Seriously, there’s nobody at this position. NOBODY! The Artist Formely Known As Jorge Posada was my second choice.

1B Paul Konerko, White Sox (.246, 19 HR, 53 RBI, .842 OPS)
2B Alfonso Soriano, Rangers (.282, 20 HR, 50 RBI, .870 OPS)
3B Melvin Mora, Orioles (.300, 14 HR, 46 RBI, .870 OPS)

Mora inches past Blalock and Farmer Shea for this backup role. The deciding factor was his versatility and availability in many positions, even a ninth inning catcher, if necessary.

SS Michael Young, Rangers (.325, 11 HR, 40 RBI, .863 OPS)

One of the great up-and-coming players in the league.

OF Gary Sheffield, Yankees (.300, 13 HR, 55 RBI, .898 OPS)
OF Kevin Mench, Rangers (.297, 15 HR, 42 RBI, .933 OPS)

Really made a strong case for himself with that three-homer game. Nice looking OPS, too.

OF Emil Brown, Royals (.297, 8 HR, 37 RBI, .840 OPS)

You try to pick a Royal.

OF Garrett Anderson, Angels (.308, 10 HR, 59 RBI, .798 OPS)

Besides driving in 59 runs, he’s my favorite non-Red Sock on the planet. Therefore, he gets the nod over Nixon (sorry), Ichiro (he’ll win the fan vote), Hunter, Dellucci and Scotty Po.

DH Travis Hafner, Indians (.296, 13 HR, 49 RBI, .943 OPS)

Obvious choice for the backup DH (that doesn’t sound right). He’s been red hot lately.

Pitching staff (my choice):

Mark Buehrle, White Sox (10-1, 2.42 ERA, 1.04 WHIP)
Jon Garland, White Sox (12-3, 3.25 ERA, 1.06 WHIP)
Roy Halladay, Blue Jays (11-4, 2.40 ERA, 0.94 WHIP)
Bartolo Colon, Angels (10-4, 3.02 ERA, 1.15 WHIP)
Johan Santana, Twins (7-4, 3.78 ERA, 0.97 WHIP)
Matt Clement, Red Sox (9-1, 3.33 ERA, 1.25 WHIP)
Chris Young, Rangers (8-4, 3.33 ERA, 1.16 WHIP)

Since Rogers is suspended for 20 games, I’m leaving him off the list and replacing him with teammate Chris Young. Buehrle gets the nod for the start, he’s got the least amount of losses and lowest ERA. Seems like the obvious choice. Santana gets in mostly for reputation and the low WHIP, and Colon has come on very strongly of late.

Mariano Rivera, Yankees (4-2, 0.91 ERA, .150 BAA)
B.J. Ryan, Orioles (1-1, 1.72 ERA, .194 BAA)
Justin Duchscherer, Athletics (3-1, 1.31 ERA, .208 BAA)
Francisco Rodriguez, Angels (2-1, 2.57 ERA, .180 BAA)

Rivera and Ryan have been completely un-hittable this season. Period. F-Rod gets the spot over Timlin and Jesse Crain (0.99 ERA) because A) Timlin’s BAA was .275 = way too high and B) Rodriguez’s nasty stuff gives the AL the best chance to win the game.

And for the last fan vote, the candidates are:

Derek Jeter (.304, 10 HR, 35 RBI)
Ichiro Suzuki (.294, 6 HR, 27 RBI)
Richie Sexson (.241, 17 HR, 57 RBI)
Grady Sizemore (.306, 8 HR, 37 RBI)
Hideki Matsui (.305, 10 HR, 59 RBI)

Ichiro and Matsui both have large fan bases, so one of them gets the final vote. I’ll go with Ichiro.

I won't be writing for a while as I'm currently on vacation. Go Sox.

Off Day Thoughts

2005-06-30T20:48:00.000-04:00

Thoughts while in Red Sox denial:

- There’s no need to move Keith Foulke out of the closers role just yet. You have to understand a couple points about that grand slam Travis Hafner hit on Tuesday night. First off, the ball would not have been a homerun in any other ballpark, the ball was a lined shot down the right field line that might have been foul in a normal stadium’s dimensions. Secondly, Travis Hafner is a proven major league slugger and not some unproven rookie that’s never seen the spotlight before. It was a clutch hit in a nice situation, but Timlin, as great as he’s pitched this season, is a perfect setup man. The closer responsibility may be too much.

- It appears Johnny Damon has grabbed that final outfield slot for the AL All-Stars, ousting Ichiro by a good margin on the last day (today). This is not official, but it will be a tremendous and well-deserved accomplishment for someone that is having a career season like Johnny. He’s my hero and always will be. Hot wife, too. But really, this means Manny, Tek, Papi and Johnny are all starting for the AL team. Yes, you read that correctly, the Red Sox make up four of the nine starters in the lineup. And our boy Tito will be filling out the card.

- Good to see Mirabelli and Bellhorn bust out yesterday with back-to-back homers. Jeez, when Bellhorn keeps his head down, focuses on the ball, and delivers that shortened, relaxed, smooth swing of his- he really looks good doing it. And other times, when he tries to kill any pitch and pulls his head, he looks like a complete fool. Oh well, you take the good and the bad with Bellhorn, who is a perfectly reliable ninth hitter in the bigs. All these callers on WEEI this week were complaining about him and saying we need to pick up a new ninth hitter or move Mueller to second and Youk to third, or any other crazy combination. I say “bah” to all that crap and think back to Game 1 of the World Series…

- Curt The Hurt made a rehab start for the PawSox last night and was really impressive. Along with a good stat line, Schill was smiling in the postgame interview and doesn’t feel pressured by the organization to come back sooner than ready. It’s great to have five excellent (at times) starting pitchers already in the rotation, then be able to add an ace to your staff after the Break. The single most important pickup any time will make before the deadline is Schill to the Red Sox. And the coolest part is we’re sitting in first place.

- A trade rumor going around may find Gary Sheffield heading to the Mets for Mike Cameron, Miguel Cairo and a prospect. I can definitely see this happening, even with Sheff ranting about how he “won’t accept this.” Well Gary, you just might have to. Sheffield is one of the only Yankees without a no-trade clause, a huge factor in why the Yanks would want to rid him of his contract and age. He’s getting very old, losing some speed and power in his bat, and the Yanks are officially looking for a new identity and makeover. They don’t want to trade prospects anymore, they want to trade major league players for other major league players. Sheff may be the first.

- I don’t want to say this either, but I strongly believe Kevin Youkilis will be gone before the deadline, especially if we want help in the bullpen or in other areas. It sucks, I know, I love Youk as much as all of you. But the guy has shown major spurts this season, and teams like the Twins and Padres may be looking for a young third baseman for the stretch run and the future. The logjam between Mueller and Youk at third will not work forever, and even though Mueller is a free agent after this season, it looks as though the Sox will resign him.

Mr. All-Star Johnny Damon, lead us into this series with Toronto…

Boss, You Wanted To See Me

2005-06-29T11:11:00.000-04:00

Keith Foulke talks to Theo Epstein the day after his blown save:

Foulke: Hey, Big T. We still on for that guitar session?

Theo: Yeah, come in, have a seat. Coffee? Donuts? Salami sandwich? Haha, just pulling your leg.

Foulke: Life sucks right now, man. I’ve got absolutely no zip on my fastball, my changeup looks about as big and puffy to a hitter as Drew Carey, and even the dude from Burger King across the street is booing me. I feel like everything’s my fault.

Theo: Well, that’s the funny part about all this. IT IS! Don’t you realize that? Your blown save ratio is off the charts to our standards, your ERA is near the highest for closers in the league, and it makes me wonder if we need to make some changes.

Foulke: You’re gonna cut me? Let me go? Shoo me out into that unforgiving wilderness full of beasts and famine and Glenn Ordway. We were doin’ so well, boss. Remember that strikeout against Tony Clark in Game 6 of the ALCS, huh, ya remember that ball-busting inning I magnificently executed. Any other closer and your cursed honky ass would be watching the pinstripes dance in the middle of that field.

Theo: I don’t think we can keep you in the closers role, Keith. You’ll still be on the team and all, but Timlin has pitched pretty well and we want to try him out as the big man on campus. His ERA when starting an inning is under one.

Foulke: God, you guys. Isn’t he like 48?

Theo: I walked right into that one, didn’t I. But really, I can’t stand watching you close out games anymore. It’s like jumping on a roller coaster and not knowing when the hell it’s going to stop. Every pitch, every inning, every at-bat is complete and total torture. After that Hafner ding-dong, I immediately had to call up my hookers before the game ended just to sooth the pain. That never happens!

Foulke: I had some great ideas for us, too. Like The Life And Times Of Keith Foulke: Hero To Tragedy. We’d sell millions and be richer than the Hilton sisters.

Theo: Listen, you’re still on the ball club, which means there’s a slight chance Johnny Damon’s wife will walk into the locker room at any moment. You’re practically a household name after making the last out, huh. C’mon, you’ve got the chicks. Who can resist that sexy upper lip.

Foulke: Okay, okay. Did you consult Tito about this?

Theo: Are you kidding? He’d come up with some “aw, give him another chance, he’s a great guy and a great player and we love him” routine. Followed up by tobacco juice pouring out of his mouth.

Foulke: Yeah, that was probably a good idea. So, you still got that salami sandwich?

Turning Away

2005-06-28T15:32:00.000-04:00

Last Monday, the Cleveland Indians were riding high. Coming off a nine game winning streak mostly consisting of beating up weaker teams, their confidence level was high and the Red Sox were nothing but another victim to them. Then a guy by the name of David Ortiz (God bless him) and his rampaging partner Manny Ramirez woke them up and reminded those Indians who the World Champs are. Three days later, the brooms were out of the closet and we strolled out of Jacobs Field with our heads high.

Yesterday, the Boston Red Sox were in another world. They’d experienced a nice seven game winning streak, mostly on the road, bolting them to heavenly first place as the Orioles continued to slide like a wet piece of soap. The Yanks weren’t doing much hotter either. The fans and the team saw this home stand as a perfect way to pad that AL East lead and beat up on average teams like the Indians and Blue Jays. But the Tribe are better than average. With a little help from Trot’s glove, Bellhorn’s blunder and Arroyo’s sack grabbing, the Indians walked out of Fenway Park very pleased with a big win.

That’s baseball.

The Rise Of The Rem Dawg

2005-06-27T16:55:00.000-04:00

(I couldn't think of a good title or picture, so I went with this. Always works.)

Sorry for the delay on posts here, but it may have to do with the fact that I haven’t seen an entire Red Sox game since last Tuesday. I’ve been busy, ya know, keeping the Fenway Franks on the table for the wife and kids, mowing my new lawn with the Sox logo in the middle and starting my novel all about Mike Myers’ resurrection from the dead. Anyway, life and baseball are going very smoothly. You might have heard that the friggin Boston Red Sox are in first place.

There may be larger forces at work here. The Orioles and Yankees keep losing, stretching our AL East lead now to a solid two and a half games, the largest two and a half games ever witnessed by man. The Sox made me squeal and kick over the pretzel bowl numerous times yesterday as they blew an 8-1 lead (when I turned on the TV to hear RemDawg and Orsillo- one of my midday or nightly sexual pleasures). The game was tied in the seventh after another Alan Embree implosion. But Marky Mark Bellhorn came to the rescue, putting the finishing touches on a breakout game, and bringing a whole new meaning to Saved By The Bellhorn. His RBI double gave us the lead once again, and the insurance gave us a 12-8 win.

And how bout big Boomer chuggin it around the bases last night? That was the highest comedy level ever reached on a baseball field since the Padres put on those hideous brown uniforms again. Look at him go!! He was obviously tiring early though, partly due to the heat, partly due to the fact he carries around a good amount of meat with him. I don’t care, he’s Boomer.

Manny and Ortiz are also climbing those HR and RBI charts very quickly. Clement is at nine wins before the break. We have the bulk of our remaining schedule at home, including an upcoming series with Cleveland, followed by Toronto. Keep those brooms handy once again.

First Place Over The Horizon

2005-06-22T23:02:00.000-04:00

Just another night where it pays off to be a Red Sox fan. I don’t mean it in the “we won again, four in a row, one game back” type of way, I mean it in the “edge of your seat with every pitch, massaging my Bill Mueller commemorative statue” type of way. Seriously, how many fan bases give a collective dry heave when a bullpen pitcher enters the game like The Nation with Alan Embree. The ups and downs come automatically with the pressures of rooting for the Red Sox, but instead of knowing that our beloved team will blow it, we expect to win the game. I could have easily turned off the TV when the Indians went up 4-2, but I stayed with my guys, kept the faith, and watched us sweep the formally red hot Tribe.

Entering this series, I was a little bit worried. Yes, we were coming off a nice blowout victory at home over Pittsburgh, but maybe the guys will be over their heads and continue playing sloppy baseball on the road. The Indians, on the other hand, have beaten up cellar dwellers on their way to a nine game winning streak, and they’d like nothing more than to collectively bitch slap the defending champs. Show them bastards who rules this part of town. Three days later, the Sox have a little streak of their own, and that 41-30 record is looking mighty fine.

This game was the best of the series. So many ups and downs, so many suicide thought clouds, so many “jump around the room and dance to Styx” moments. The Indians went up 4-2 and I was ready to write an Adventures Of Alan Embree: Days Of Disgust article for tonight. Then the pro Billy Mueller tied it up with a very clutch ripped single to right center in one of the most nauseating and nut-busting at-bats of the season. I was not only standing up, but pacing around the room. Another clutch hit for Mueller, and it looked good with Timlin coming in. Foulke gets out a jam in the eighth and Edgah! delivers with an RBI hit that gives us the lead. In the words of my fellow fans, he hit that ball “wicked hahhhd.”

So we sweep the Indians. Nice work, boys. Now it’s on to the launching pad known as Citizens Bank Park for another broom-related series. Keep it goin! Oh by the way, the Orioles lose to Toronto and the Yanks continue their season-long struggle with Tampa Bay. Nice day all around.

Listen Up Manuel

2005-06-21T12:52:00.000-04:00

Dearest Manny,

Whats up? That thing you wear under your hat, the rag deal with the big Boston B, it looks exemplary. But I’m concerned about some re-occurring themes involving you. It seems like you don’t care. It seems that you won the precious ring, you’re getting a bit older, and you just feel like hanging it up this season. There’s a contract and a nation that think you should do otherwise.

We have so many memories together, well, not together, but you’ve brought me to sheer joy like I’ve never felt before. Remember that homer in Game 3 of the World Series? Just put the sledgehammer down on those friggin Cardinals. It’s like you said, “no, this is our series, and nothing will stop us.” Represent! And remember that huge hitting streak you had in the playoffs? Even your errors in Game 1 were comical. You’re always there to make us laugh.

I’m not doubting the fact you’re funny and good to your teammates and make everyone else smile, I just think the focus isn’t there. When you got hit by that pitch against Pittsburgh on Saturday, I said to myself, “there is no way he’s going to play tomorrow.” Tito even went to Payton after the game and told him he was going to play. He knows, and we know, that you don’t really care anymore. And it shouldn’t be that way.

It might be a little different if you were putting up massive numbers and carrying the team on your back, but .260 isn’t cutting the butter either. We’re not asking for a triple crown or batting title, but I’m speaking for Red Sox Nation when I say, we just need a little focus and effort from you. That’s all. If you get hit by a pitch, do every possible thing you can to get back onto that field the next day. Please.

The two greatest moments of my life- watching you run in from left field after the Sox won the World Series, and the first time I saw Jessica Alba in person. I just hope that sprint and jump into the team celebration doesn’t mark the end of a historic, hall-of-fame career. Make it last a little longer. Keep smiling and hugging, but when you run on that field, or make your way to the batters box- focus. A little effort, that’s all we’re asking for.

Thanks,
Red Sox Nation

Monday Links

2005-06-20T23:58:00.000-04:00

Being Johnny Damon Does. Not. Suck.

Oh yeah, and this.

Back To NormalCy

2005-06-19T16:49:00.000-04:00

After a tough loss last night, complete with an offensive meltdown that blew another nice Wakefield showing, the Sox had almost no time to recover before an afternoon game the next day. Well, they recovered. Quickly. The O got on Kip Wells right away (seriously, who the hell names their son Kip), with everyone contributing just like Friday nights game. I love what I’m seeing out of the regular starters, bench guys, and most of all, Matt Clement.

Clement has the tools to win the Cy Young this season, and if you think I’m kidding, just watch this guy pitch once in a while. He’s got four out pitches, including that sinker that drops off the shelf on hitters with two strikes. A decent fastball and good changeup, and you’ve got yourself an 8-1 pitcher with a low ERA in the top ten. He’s quickly turning into the ace of this ball club, and with Schill out, it’s really nice feeling overly confident in a pitcher in our rotation. Every time the Emancipator steps out on that Fenway mound, it seems the Sox are on their way to a win.

Jason Varitek. The MVP of this team, hands down. I have to comment on that awesome block of the plate he had on Jack Wilson on Friday- just an amazing heads up play by an experienced catcher that has uncanny reactions to quick plays. He does so much for the team as a whole- making every young pitcher better on the staff, always hustling and sprinting to the batters box before he hits, always teaching and helping others. A great teammate, not to mention a great defensive and offensive catcher.

Billy Mueller. The Pro is so unappreciated for what he brings to the table. Numerous times today he made outstanding plays at third base, first on a sharp grounder to his right that he dove, made the transfer, and threw to first just in time (with a great stretch from Olerud). Then, he jumped and caught a sharp broken bat liner by Wilson to get Clement out of a tough jam in the fifth. He also had a big triple near the 420 sign, a sac fly early in the game, and ran the bases with perfection. The guy gets the friggin job done.

Saturday: I also have to second guess Tito last night for some of the moves he made. First off, you don’t bring in a pitcher with a 7.02 ERA in the seventh inning of a tie ballgame. Embree’s given up too many long balls and has pitched like cow dung this season, I don’t care if he hasn’t worked in a while or whatever the lame ass excuse was. Then you double your trouble with the inconsistent Mantei. Top that off with pitching John Halamamama in the ninth and you’re bound to lose the game.

Jay Playton delivered today also with a homer. Maybe we should play….na, trade him. Gabe Kapler on the horizon?

Fashion Statement

2005-06-17T12:10:00.000-04:00

Tonight, a meeting with the Pittsburgh Pirates. The team with the coolest throwback unis and throwback players the game ever saw. Honus Wagner and his pointy nose, along with the coolest nickname in baseball history- the Flying Dutchman. The great 70’s teams with Clemente and Stargell, sporting the pimped-out stripped hats and the occasional bright yellow pants. There’s nothing like those old Pirates unis, so they should wear them for a few games this weekend. While were at it, why not have the Sox thrown on that old Cy Young throwback? Would anyone be against this? I'm paging Bud now.

The 1979 championship team also had the greatest names such as Bill Madlock, Ed Ott and Rennie Stennett. Read that last name again. Omar Moreno was the starting center fielder. And the all important Doe Boyland even got a ring. Can't forget Enrique Romo.

Possibly my favorite non-Red Sock of all time. The guy did everything with such grace and easiness, I only wish I could have watched him every day in his prime. The gun in right field, the speed on the bases, the power and clutch hits- I've heard all about them and how easy he made baseball seem to the average person. Watch some clips from the 1971 World Series, you'll see what I mean. Baseball will always miss Roberto Clemente.

Yo Dude, Where Did You Put The Broom

2005-06-16T01:00:00.000-04:00

A sweep.

Much needed, to say the least. The recipe was not Edgah’s bat heating up, nor Foulke getting some big saves, not even a nice Miller to Mueller to Millar double play. It was a simple as coming home and playing quality baseball. All the guys needed was some home cooking, playing under the friendly Fenway lights, and all is well in Sox Nation. Plus, getting three awesome starts from Cy Young Clement, Boomah and Cornroyo never hurts.

But there’s this slight problem here: those damn Orioles keep winning. I know it’s only June 15, and looking at the playoff picture would be pretty useless and absurd, but well, I’m useless and absurd. That’s the just the way I am. I like looking at the big picture. So when I see the Orioles are beating up on teams like the lowly Astros at home while we sweep, it takes a little fun out of the whole winning deal. A little bit.

As for Papi, people have to start considering him a top notch player in baseball. He’s already known as a clutch hitter, but I’m talking top ten hitters in the league, maybe even top five in the power rankings. Not playing the field ever hurts his chances, but if he keeps carrying the Red Sox, people have to start considering Ortiz as a possible MVP candidate. It brings tears to my eyes every time he crushed an inside fastball over the foul pole. You don’t get the feeling a player is going to hit a home run on EVERY SINGLE PITCH that often. That’s how I feel with David Ortiz.

I’m just happy the pitching staff is back on track. Time for Embree and the bullpen now. We can’t get too cocky here, those pesky Pirates are playing with nothing to lose. This could be a tougher series than most people think.

As for right now, the Sox are running on all cylinders. The cockiness, the confidence, the hugging- it’s all there. And with our luck, we have an off day tomorrow. Keep the mojo flowing, guys.

Near Perfection

2005-06-15T00:00:00.000-04:00

Thoughts going through my head as David Wells put on a clinic last night:

Bottom of the 2nd inning: This is nice, we’re pouring on major run support for Wells. I wish I didn’t feel this way, especially after Boomer mowed down the Cardinals like chopped liver, but I still don’t trust the man. He’s been too inconsistent this year, sometimes explodes on the mound, and often times has too much control, if that’s possible. Plus, anyone who gets lit up by the friggin Oakland Athletics needs to be examined.

Top of the 4th inning: Man, is Boomer putting on a show tonight or what? Sure, it’s only the fourth inning and he’ll probably blow it later in the game, but I’ve never seen a guy hitting his spots like he has tonight. From my view, every time Tek set up somewhere, BAM! There goes the ball. It’s uncanny, almost unreal. He’s got decent speed too, just nails the right location on what seems like every single pitch. Seeing him and Cap’n Tek work together like this gives me the willies. Good ones.

Bottom of the 5th inning: Alright. This is good. We’ve got some runs on the board, Boomer is working on a near perfect game. Wait, he hasn’t given up a hit yet, has he? Interesting…

Top of the 6th inning, 1 out: Just struck out Wily Mo Pena, and is now only 11 outs away from introducing me to pure hysteria. I’m out of my seat, jumping around, this is just the way I am. He’s got a hell of a long way to go, but it’s re-assuring that he’s been familiar with this type of situation before. Plus, this is the Cincinnati Reds. Most Beer League teams could beat Cincy on the road. This. Can. Happen.

Top of the 6th inning, 2 outs: Just got some backup catcher, Sardinha I think, to fly out to center. I just peed my pants, man, I actually believe this is going to happen.

Top of the 6th inning, 2 outs, 0-2 on Freel: There’s this buzzing in my ear that I can’t seem to get out. Maybe it’s the presence of MISTER BOOMER WELLS making my brain go insane. That made zero sense.

Damn, Freel just got a hit and the no-hit bid is over. It was fun while it lasted.

Brooms tomorrow.

There's A Rumble Behind The Mill

2005-06-14T00:00:00.000-04:00

Some rumblings from around the mill:

According to the Hartford Courant, Manny Ramirez is planning to retire after his current contract expires in 2008. But given a choice, the Red Sox would love to get rid of his huge contract (roughly $20 million a year) after this season.

Unfortunately, this is extremely likely to happen. Manny’s contract may essentially be a factor if the Red Sox lose in the postseason, granted they make it there, this season. That $20 million is prevented them from dishing out a large sum for a guy like Tim Hudson or Carlos Beltran last off season, and may hold them back from signing a marquee player during this years deadline. It may continue to hold them back until 2008, when the contract expires. Nobody wants Manny to remain in Boston more than me, but when you look at the big scheme of things, getting rid of that money would open up so many possibilities in improving the team in needed areas, such as first base. Whatever happens, we know Theo will make the right move.

Speaking of Theo, if you actually look at the first base situation closely, he did the right thing. I mean, Tito now has three solid options in Millar, Olerud and Youkilis over there while Dougy M is stinkin it up at Shea. The guy is hitting .208, and there were many articles in the New York papers saying they need a change at the position (possibly Huff or Overbay). The guy may be outstanding defensively, but his best offensive days are behind him. And Renteria still has better numbers than Cabrera.

According to USA Today, Shea Hillenbrand could be dealt by the trading deadline if the Blue Jays fall out of contention. The Jays have yet to put Hillenbrand on the trade block, but they are willing to listen to offers. The leading candidates seem to be the Red Sox, Rangers and Yankees.

This won’t and shouldn’t happen. Farmer Shea would probably like playing at the Fens again (anything’s better than the Dump Known As The Rogers Centre), but there’s no need for a corner infielder when you’re already carrying 200 on your active roster. Jeez, Youk can already play both, Vasquez can play third and we just signed Olerud. Add that to Millar and Mueller, and that’s settled.

Also, Womack’s days are numbered in New York. How can a guy in that lineup have ZERO homers and TEN runs batted in. He plays every day, just at the wrong position. It’s pretty much a mess. I never understood why they gave up on Cairo, anyway.

And how bout the Emancipator!

Paging The Knuckler

2005-06-13T16:03:00.000-04:00

Great game last night. You put all the pieces together- a nice Wakefield performance that was overly due, solid hitting out of the subs like Mirabelli and Youkilis, and even a stellar bullpen job- and the Sox find themselves “avoiding another sweep” at the hands of an NL opponent. Great, now we get Cincy, who are abysmal on the road, and Pittsburgh, who is very beatable, with some momentum following that win. This could be a big step in the season and make Theo’s head a little less dreary.

And how bout Wake chugging the bases!! Was that high comedy or was that high comedy? The guy even scratched out a nice oppo hit, then collects an RBI, then pulls a rabbit out of his ass and runs from first base to home on a double. He looked alright out there too, you know, for being a pitcher and all. The Baller’s been working on the wind sprints too, I see.

Manny even homered as I was just about to set fire to my bronze statue of him. Call him uninterested, call him a slacker, call him done, but I still will always love the guy and know he will break out eventually. Could this be the start? Tomorrow, I’ll analyze what Theo should do to improve this team for another postseason run. Does it involve Manny?

What a genius idea to honor Fisk’s homerun tonight. I love this ownership and what they’ve done to the ballpark, team, etc. Let’s get the Emancipator a nice win.

Postgame Review

2005-06-10T23:39:00.000-04:00

Wow, that really sucked. Arroyo was getting hammered from the start, with a little help from the Wrigley wind, of course. Even Maddux homered, and I’m probably the only Red Sox fan in the word that’s actually happy for him. Also, Embree and Halama need to start pitching like major leaguers or pack their bags. At one point in the game, I even saw Embree shake off Varitek as he tried to visit the mound. You quite simply do not disrespect the captain.

Papi had two blasts. Bellhorn homered. Gotta find some silver lining here, folks. And since I have nothing else to say, I’ve decided to do a final grade report on the “off the field” rewards following the Red Sox championship:

Faith Rewarded DVD: Very well documented, and some of the images are priceless. The ending left me in tears the first couple times I watched it, even though I tried very hard to cry because I’d feel guilty if I didn’t. Schilling has some great comments and this DVD follows the entire season so much better than the World Series film, which tends to just jump past everything that happened throughout the journey. Any Red Sox fan must see this immediately. Grade: A

World Series DVD: Denis Leary, even though I think he’s a great actor, really sends a drowning voice into such a glorifying moment in Sox history. He’s a great fan and all, just not the right choice. Even though I loved that Mastercard commercial. Overall, the film follows the World Series so well (hence the name), but ends with the annoying Tessie instead of Faith Rewarded’s Dirty Water. That’s just a hint of the difference between the two. Grade: B

Fever Pitch: This was that movie with Jimmy Fallon….yeah, that thing. Well, I can’t say it was bad considering it portrayed everything that I will probably end up to be in a few years, but there were some prime glitches that bothered me. First off, the whole laptop issue with Drew Barrymore bugs me to this day… I can’t even discuss this rationally without vomiting all over my computer. And Fallon watching the Buckner clip over and over again, not even a drunk, stoned, beaten Red Sox fan would go there. The part with Fallon’s friends shaving his balls was also not needed. Grade: B-

Queer Eye For The Red Sox: Just a complete waste of time. The players looked uninterested, the gay guys are only funny for a while before their voices start to sound like birds chirping in your ear, and they spent most of the time at this Little League field with kids. The players didn’t even look different at all, just threw on some fashionable suits. They all look the same now anyway. But the show was just SO BORING, I felt like I was in solitary confinement. Grade: D

Shaughnessy’s Book: I’ve heard a lot of bad stuff about it, but I found it quite interesting. He had some in-depth, inside information that only Dan would get, and even threw in some nice Nomah bashing. It really showed the personalities of the players, pretty much describing every single players lives. I’m not even kidding. There were some weak spots, but overall, I enjoyed it. Grade: B

Schilling On Celebrity Poker: He sucked. Grade: F

Any other ones I’m forgetting?

Remember This...

2005-06-09T15:32:00.000-04:00

Under Control

2005-06-09T15:08:00.000-04:00

David Wells is out of shape. He’s bloated, fat and overweight. The guy has no fastball and his curveball is dead. It’s like a hanging volleyball waiting to be smoked into the bleachers. His career is over. It was Theo’s worst mistake yet.

Yeah, right.

Boomer came through in a big way last night, pitching eight masterful, tremendous innings over one of the best lineups in baseball. It was gravy from the first pitch for Wells, who continues to lower his ERA with every start. Maybe it was just some early season rust that was his problem, or the pressure of acceptance problems from Boston fans. I know I was pissed at him.

And the bats got rolling. Edgah! hit a dinger and the under-appreciated Bill Mueller and Jason Varitek had great games. How bout Ortiz’s moon shot, huh? The only thing is Millah in left field…let’s avoid that again, please.

We head to Wrigley where a series win would be really, really sweet.

While Searching For A Silver Lining...

2005-06-08T19:03:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox will attempt to avoid an embarrassing sweep tonight at the hands of the St. Louis Cardinals. Was this expected? Actually, yes. I was talking to a friend the other day and hinted at the thought that the Cardinals would want definite revenge for the Red Sox manhandling of their team last October. They’ve been waiting for us all winter, circling these games on the calendar, plotting the most painful way to disappoint our fans and team. Well, I was right, wasn’t I?

Tonight, we need a win desperately. It’s time to shake this salt off our shoulder and grab a nice, easy win (barring a delay, rain is expected in St. Louis tonight). Maybe Boomer can have another big night on the road, but our main goal is to stay in the game. Our offense is due for a massive explosion, and the time is now.
Interesting quotes from Remy and Eck regarding Manny sitting tonight:

"Is it a slap on the wrist (Manny's) not playing tonight with the day off tomorrow?" -- Hall of Famer Dennis Eckersley

"Well he's (Manny) been walking around the clubhouse all week saying 'I got Thursday off, I got
Thursday off'... he was begging for a day off." -- Jerry Remy

That Remy quote not only scares the living shit outta me, but it worries me even more. What if Manny was telling the truth last year- he just wanted to win a World Series, then he would possibly tank and call it quits very soon. Behind all that joking, hugging and laughing is actually a very serious man out to do what’s best for him and his family. I’m not trying to jump to the conclusion that Manny will never be MVP potential anymore, I just don’t think he cares as much. Not nearly as much.

Also, Damon is close to grabbing that last All-Star outfield spot. Vote now.

Dreaming For A Streak

2005-06-06T23:10:00.000-04:00

Dear Mr. Francona,

Just checking in. How are the wife, kids and tobacco stash doing? Good to hear, and by the way, you look LOVELY in that retro Brewers jersey. Stunning doesn’t even start to begin how great you look with that ball-in-glove Olerud-esque helmet.

But I’m a little fed up. Actually “pissed off” would probably be the better word to describe my feelings right now. Your Red Sox are riding this 2005 wave like a roller coaster- up and down, up and down, up and down, win then loss, win then loss…it’s really getting annoying. So how bout a streak, huh? Get these guys fired up however you can. If you have to bring in a poster of a supermodel and tear off a chunk of her body like in Major League after every win, believe me, you have the most definite permission to do so. If you have to sacrifice a dead ostrich, go ahead.

All I want is a little taste of August from last year. It was so sweet for all of the Nation- everyone expected a win day in and day out, everybody was running on all cylinders, the Yankees (now Orioles) heard footsteps behind them and the fans knew this was the year. We would like a repeat. I know, I know, Wakefield’s knuckleball is about as effective as Matthew Broderick’s acting in Glory, and Manny’s OBP is extremely low for the amount of cash he’s reelin in. We have to work through those obstacles and break out here.

Right now. I’m not even kidding anymore.

The big win streak begins tomorrow night.

And did you give Millah permission for THIS?

Sympathy For The Angels

2005-06-03T11:47:00.000-04:00

Excitement, amazement and sheer happiness can not explain the amount of joy I’m experiencing right now. It feels like Eva Longoria just sat on my hand. I’m beaming, you can practically see the sparks of flickering light coming out of my head. The Red Sox, like they do numerous times during the season, have brought me to a better place where nothing goes wrong, baseball rules, and Playboy models are serving me pina coladas on a beach on a remote island. Life is sweet.

So, okay, let me get this friggin straight. Johnny Damon hammers a beautiful two-strike Shields pitch into deep center, scoring three and sending Fenway Park into a complete dream world. The Green Monster was shaking after that rip. And this is off one of the most surprisingly awesome relief pitchers in baseball. With two strikes. Bases loaded. Johnny Damon has nuts of steel.

Foulkey plays with fire, but ends it in the long run. And ya know what, especially with Cabrera in the building tonight, this is starting to feel like October again. Still it’s only June, early June actually, but every game is starting to matter as we head closer to the All-Star Break. Anything can happen at this point, that’s just the way Red Sox Nation feels after the last two postseasons and this roller coaster ride in 2005. The big players like Ortiz and Damon are carrying the guys on their shoulders. All the defensive gems by Trot in right field, and the fooling, laughing and teasing of Manny at all times.

Take yesterday, for example. The Red Sox could have easily shaken the game off and let the series slip right out of their hands, pass it along as another loss and move on with their lives. That’s not what these boys, do. David Ortiz decided to end this stupid mess with a bomb to center. Then the jubilation and celebration at home plate, a tradition the Red Sox have made ordinary over the last few summers.

The memories from last year- Damon sprinting for dear life against Oakland like Allen Iverson’s wife was chasing him, McCarty’s walkoff homerun against the Mariners and Papi at Fenway vs. the Jays, the fight game and Mueller’s walk off, the magical postseason- I remember it all so clearly, and I just long for another season like that to happen. Well, we took a ride in the time machine tonight with that big victory. Wins like tonight makes all the smiles, tears, hangovers, extra inning marathons, tough losses, sleepless nights and partying worth it. No doubt.

There’s nothing like Red Sox baseball.

Tizzle!

2005-06-02T23:46:00.000-04:00

Let’s take a spin through the ninth inning of today’s game:

Damon flies out to deep center. After this out, I’m feeling about 110% less confident in our chances to win this game. Not only does B.J. Ryan usually dominate the Red Sox in the ninth inning, but our leadoff hitting, on-base, hitting machine just made the first out. Not exactly the “spark” you need against a dominant closer like Ryan. I just looked at the on-deck circle and threw up in my mouth.

Here comes Mr. Bellhorn. He’s done it before in the clutch (Game 1 of the World Series) but his production this year didn’t have me hoping for much. I was just wishing he’d get on base and start something for the top of the order, maybe give Youk a chance to become a household name in Boston. Now, maybe Mark Bellhorn isn’t a guy you can expect 20 homers out of, a near .300 average or anywhere near gold glove play, but he does give it his all every time he steps on the field. Legging out an infield single in this inning was just another example.

So here comes Youk. Time for a walk off. He quickly strikes out.

Renteria steps to the plate to the overwhelming joy of the Fenway crowd. Maybe he doesn’t understand, but our fan base as a whole would like nothing more than to see him succeed. He’s a good guy, just look at his innocent face. He wouldn’t kill a fly. Plus, we’re all trying to end our love affair with Orlando Cabrera, what better way to forgot OC than Edgah providing the fireworks? Surprisingly, Renteria lays down a perfect bunt single and Bellhorn is in scoring position down one run.

Ortizzle is up. There’s no freakin way he can do it again, right? It’s uncanny how this guy succeeds in tough positions. He runs the count full on Ryan, and I figure he ‘s got too many tricky pitches in his arsenal to let Ortiz beat him with one pitch. Wrong decision by Ryan, and Ortiz cranks the pitch to deep center and gone.

Euphoria.

Sox win.

Rebounding With Authority

2005-05-31T22:17:00.000-04:00

Every game against the O’s counts. Sure, the Yankees are always the big guns, the rivals we want to take down, the target the Red Sox are aiming for. Even as early as May. But now we face these pesky Orioles once again, with those same Orioles in first place in the AL East. They’re not the same team that mulled around fourth place in the division, lacked any iota of pitching and tended to play inconsistently all year, almost costing Lee Mazzilli his job. These new and improved Orioles are playing with confidence and heart. They want to overcome the big boys and win this thing. The Red Sox better watch out.

After we fell four games back last night, I was a little panicky. While the Yankees would probably be feeding on the Artists Formely Known As The Kansas City Royals, the Red Sox had the first place O’s at home in a huge, national television series. This was one of the biggest May series in a long time at Fenway. Last night was disappointing, but winning tonight was great, especially with the Yanks currently down to the RoyAAAls. The difference between being three games back and five games back is not only big in the standings, but psychologically it makes you feel a hell of a lot better about yourself. Not that the Red Sox need that, of course.

We know these things for sure- John Olerud is making a good impression in his first week with the BoSox, while Millar is struggling, reeling, and playing with his stance. And we all know who’s better defensively. We also know Wade Miller may end up being the steal of the off season, a guy nobody really took a chance on after battling arm injuries, that wound up in Theo’s hands with a warm hello. He came back sooner than we thought, and delivered tonight with a nice performance. That seventh inning was surely fun.

We know Edgar Renteria is hot. We know Damon will be okay after his collision with the wall, thank god. And hell, we sure know Jay Payton has a rifle in center. Tomorrow is the biggest game of the season- let’s go out and kick some Oriole bootay.

Booming Victory

2005-05-29T23:51:00.000-04:00

Mr. David Wells brought me to a better place tonight.

The first inning I was hitting the panic button. I actually uttered the words “this guys career is probably over” after Sheffield lined the second homer of the inning to tie the score at two. Then we poured on some runs with the help of Edgah machine and the “warm weather” factor that seemed to be his excuse for taking dumps all over the field in the last month or so. All is forgiven. Papi had already sent a ball onto the black seats in center, Reggie Jackson-esque. He hit that ball wicked hahhd.

Then Wells seemed to calm down. All of a sudden, the crowd wasn’t getting in his head. His team wasn’t making mistakes and errors behind him. Wells and rookie Kelly Shoppach (this guy is MUCH better than the 0-fer he put up tonight) really worked together well. As inning after inning passed by, I kept thinking I was high or drunk because Wells was still pitching. What is going on here? David Wells, on the mound, in the NINTH FREAKIN INNING??? Am I dreaming?

Then Francona took out the hook, the claw and the shovel and dug David Wells’ complete game into the mud. Damn you sometimes, Tito.

The Red Sox got, count em, more than forty hits in the last two games. They outscored the Yankees 24-4 in those same games. Edgar Renteria is up to .290 and scorching hot right now. At one time in this game he was 12 for his last 14. Manny, at one point in the game, was 7 for his last 7, all singles. Nixon and Varitek are over .300, and Damon is third in the AL in average. Clement is 6-0. Let’s take this sweet momentum to the Pahk and win some more games.

I’ve never felt better about my Sawx.

Boston Massacre

2005-05-28T23:47:00.000-04:00

It really doesn’t get much better than that. Some games you have an offensive onslaught, a sloppy game, a game with tons of runs and a back and forth juggernaut. Some games are pitching duels, with the two teams hanging close and one team busting it open at the end. Some games are boring, some games are interesting, some games are classics. But, nothing, and I mean NOTHING (besides Games 4 and 5 of the ALCS, but those were so god damn nut busting) beats what happened today at Yankee Stadium, playing our most hated rival. On their turf!

Seventeen runs. Twenty-seven hits. I haven’t experienced this much overwhelming joy since winning the World Series. I missed that feeling, believe me, I was about to hang myself over my bathtub after last night debacle. We got a little dose of the old Edgah we’re formally known to seeing over the years. We got some Trot magic. We got a big batch of Manny singles. Damon had seven friggin at-bats. That’s crazy. A beautiful game on a tremendous Saturday afternoon (and I mean that in the biggest way possible).

But here’s the trick. The Red Sox have to keep it going.

This team can’t get too over their heads and blow up in the next couple games. We’ve got a major game in the Bronx tomorrow night, then two huge series with the Orioles and Angels. This is time to bare down focus, and sweet mother of Christ, win some more ballgames! We might need 17 and 27 for Boomer tomorrow night, though. Whatever gets the job done.

I loved what I saw today, and I bet all of Red Sox Nation just nodded their head in agreement. 26 hits is something to be really, really proud of. And it was the Yanks.

Frustration

2005-05-27T23:11:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox are slumping, and you know what, this is a wake up call for me. I really don’t like them losing at all, but I’m officially parting ways with 2004 and focusing on this season. It’s hard at this point in time, but this is Red Sox baseball. Not champagne pouring, bear hugging, dry humping and all that good stuff I’m used to, but the good ole frustrating, up and down Sawx I’ve watched for many years. Fine. I figured it would come sooner or later. Actually, better sooner than later.

Tonight, it was the rookie Cano and Sheff that did the trick against Wake, who’s quickly returning to the .500 pitcher we’re accustomed to. Edgar had a nice night, but that’s about all the silver lining I can get out of this game. I actually didn’t see most of it ( I know I should be smited) but the highlights look just bad. Randy had his speed up, Manny still sucks, Rivera is back to normal, the Yanks are hot, the Sox are cold and everything is pointing the wrong way.

Boys, we’ve actually got a wall to climb. Let’s overcome this adversity and show the Yanks the real Bostonian steel balls. Maybe Clement will provide another rendition of the Gettysburg Address tomorrow. Let’s hope.

Blow Some Steam

2005-05-25T22:13:00.000-04:00

Let’s play a quick round of Guess The Sox Player!

1. I make a habit of filling my pre and post game food plate with KFC chicken and shots of Jack Daniels whiskey. I may be a wreck at first base, but who’s the guy that believed, huh? Just the way Sox Nation likes it, then POW! I make another error. Or go 0 for 4. Take your pick. Anyway, I’m a firm believer in humping animals at the zoo, making the ladies happy at all times and grabbing my crotch.

2. Remember when I won the batting title in 2003? Neither do I.

3. Maybe my mechanics are messed up, maybe my changeup is as straight as ever, maybe my fastball doesn’t even clock 89 anymore, but I‘ll be fine. I’m struggling mightily right now, yes, I admit it. If anyone knows of a good orphopaedic surgeon around the Boston area, I’d really like to know. The DL is calling.

4. I like donuts a lot and try to eat them every day. When I forget, I feel really bad because I know I let my body and myself down. Sometimes I like coffee with my donuts too. There’s nothing better than chillin at Dunkin Donuts, eating a 12 pack’a powdered, sippin some coffee and reading Gun and Truck magazine. Some doctors said I should try eating healthy. But who cares, my career is probably over.

5. I love attention. Whenever my wife and I decide to go on another honeymoon or throw down another kick ass pool party with complete strangers, I make sure to buy a camera and tape it all, then send it to ESPN.com so everyone sees this awesome tan I got surfing. Gotta love the good life. I’m planning to write another book this winter titled: The Life Of A Caveman: I Hunt Buffalos For Fun. Complete with CD ROM re-counting my entire life story.

6. I think Tony LaRussa is a complete and total idiot. Worse than all these damn left-wingers that parade this state. He’s just a total moron to do what he did, and I, for one, decided to get my opinion out there on this idiot. To call out a former player the way he did the other day, you know, you must be filled with ignorance and jealousy. He wants him back in the Lou, no doubt. End of story. Excuse me while I make this family of four driving about 50 MPH on the freeway shut up.

7. I’m a Greek God. Tito said my penis was small. He’s right.

8. It’s me again, hey. Since I’m a Lee Dungaree type of guy, I’m gonna tell you a secret. I have this thing fo Johnny Damon’s wife, ya know, it’s getting serious. First, she stroked my hair during batting practice, right in the middle of the friggin field, guys! Then I felt the need to give something back. It went too far. I mean, what we did takes Cowboy Up to a whole new level.

9. I’m sitting in my home eating sushi and watching the Sox. Good times with those guys. I see Tek catch a foul ball and just want to carry his mask back to the dugout for him. I see Damon’s hair swooping in the wind and really feel the urge to rub his upper leg. I see Tizzle hit another homerun and really want to give him a big bear hug. Watch out for the Hebrew Hammer in a ballpark near you.

10. I can’t decide that better word for my overall performance this season: shmuck, debacle, disgusting, ghastly, clusterfuck or just plain bad. I’m leaning towards clusterfuck.

Answers: 1. Kevin Millar, 2. Bill Mueller, 3. Keith Foulke, 4. David Wells, 5. Johnny Damon, 6. Curt Schilling, 7. Kevin Youkilis, 8. Kevin Millar, 9. Gabe Kapler, 10. Edgar Renteria

God, Save Us From This Pit Of Agony

2005-05-24T22:10:00.000-04:00

I hate the Skydome, or Rogers Centre, whatever those Canadians call it now. I hate it. I always have, and always will. Case closed.

Sad loss tonight, it’s one of those games you wanna puke all over the room and shout at random objects around the house. Painful. A lot of people are already doubting Francona’s decision to bring in Alan Embree to pitch the ninth, especially after watching him give up that walk-off to Eduardo Perez the last time. Zaun and Hudson were both switch hitters, and Embree has been excellent lately. It was the right move, just unfortunately came back to haunt us.

On the bright side, Mueller homered again, but the dark cloud appeared once again as he left the game after being hit around the foot area. At least we have Youk, right. But still, I hope Mr. Under-Appreciated isn’t out for long. He’s a fragile guy, remember when he missed that long stretch last year after a minor injury? We don’t want that again, and it’s too bad, because Billy is becoming one of the best defensive third baseman in the league. No exaggeration.

The Yanks are kickin major bootay in the Bronx, which is worth another head banging on the desk. A-Rod’s gone deep twice, and all of a sudden, they’re just one and a half games behind us in the standings. Meanwhile, the O’s are still playing well, and the Jays are even creeping. The Sox need to step it up tomorrow and grab a big win. I believe in Cornroyo.

Meanwhile, Renteria speaks out on LaRussa‘s comments about him possibly not being a good fit in Boston:

"I’m surprised. I don’t know why he said that. Maybe they want me back or something. I’m done with St. Louis already, and I play with Boston right now. It’s my house right now, my family. I don’t feel (special) pressure (here). When I play, I feel pressure everyday to be successful. That’s why I’m the kind of player I am."

Word, G.

The Gettysburg Address

2005-05-23T17:13:00.000-04:00

Matt Clement was awesome yesterday. I’m trying to find better words, but “awesome” is the one that comes to mind. The guy cruised past Braves hitters one by one, making them look absolutely silly with that sinker, and blowing them away with the fastball. Looking back to the last complete game with Pedro against the D’Rays, I can’t remember a better pitching performance in a Sox uniform since then. He sure didn’t look like a career .500 pitcher yesterday.

Besides Lincoln…I mean, Clement’s masterful outing, the offense delivered with timely clutch hitting. The Fenway fans shouted “Yooooooooooooouk!!!” as the rookie entered the box, then he quickly punched a fastball into left field. The Braves would never be the same. In the finale of interleague play (thank god), Manny broke out of his short slump with a big homerun. It was interesting how Manny approached this game- just trying to slap pitches into right field, constantly going the opposite way, really focusing on the ball and nothing else. The distractions didn’t seem to be there.

Another note- the Red Sox must, and I mean MUST, keep Youkilis in the major leagues. Enough with the short stoppages in Pawtucket, this guy is ready. He’s never been more ready. He’s got the major league qualified bat and even flashed some leather in the field in the ninth inning on a tough grounder. First base, third base, outfield…hell, if Tito caught the guy, he’d be fine. It’s not quite Al Jefferson-like, but I really love watching Youk play.

Oh yeah, and Mr. Baseball wants back.

The Champagne Of Free Agent Pitchers

2005-05-20T22:07:00.000-04:00

A ball-busting ninth inning capped off a very entertaining interleague matchup tonight at the Fens. Now, I’m completely and fully against anyone who mutters the word “interleague,” and I consider this scheduling travesty the worst part about baseball. It’s just another way to boost attendance and get more asses in the seats, that’s fine with me, whatever.

But the way it messes up the schedules (having some teams play tougher opponents, awkward interleague matchups like Toronto vs. Houston and the DH rule becoming a possible breaking point in the game) can come back to haunt certain teams who need to make a stretch run in late June or July. In my opinion, there should be one, and only ONE weekend of interleague play all season. Have the big rivalries- Mets-Yanks, ChiSox-Cubs, Dodgers-Angels, Giants-A’s, etc. and just leave it at that. The Red Sox play six interleague series this season, which is insane.

As for the game, just a remarkable performance by Wade Miller. This guy might possibly become the biggest and most under-appreciated off season addition in all the Bigs, folks. Take a mid-90’s fastball with a nasty change and a 12-to-6 Zito-esque curve that the AL hasn’t seen yet, and you’ve got a recipe for success. Miller had a no-hitter through four, and just cruised from there. The Artist Formely Known As Keith Foulke gave the Nation a collective shiver in the ninth, but with some luck, came out on top. Mueller got off the shnuck with a pole shot, Tek went yard and Edgah even got himself an RBI. Even though I still kinda sorta miss Cabrera.

One run wins always feel so good. Not only that your team can perform when it gets into pressure situations, but the fans know the team is capable of not blowing every single game. Yes, I understand I made zero point in that last sentence, but it makes sense to me.

Tomorrow, Wake. Sunday, Clementine. Sox. Rule.

Wazup

2005-05-19T17:07:00.000-04:00

(AP Photo/Ben Margot)

Conversation between Terry Francona, Kevin Millar, Mark Bellhorn, Jason Varitek and Kevin Youkilis after David Wells was pulled from yesterday’s game in the second inning:

Wells: Sorry guys.

Millar: Will ya take a look at that bum walking off the mound. Jeez, even 20-year veterans can pitch worse than a guy named Seth Etherton. Lay off the Dunkin Donuts will ya, bud.

Varitek: Hey, don’t get so down on everyone. We’re only down, what, nine or ten runs. This isn’t over yet by any means. We’ve put up boatloads of runs before.

Francona: Cut the shit, captain, the game is over.

Bellhorn: You’re not bringing in Cla Meredith, are you?

Francona: No, I learned my lesson, thank you very much. He’s sent down to the minors. Mark, you better watch you’re back, mister .222.

Bellhorn: Cheap shot, huh, Tito. Remember. Pole. Game 1. World Series. Tavarez. 11-9.

Varitek: Look at Jeremi, slowly walking here from the bullpen. Any player that has the privilege of playing Major League Baseball for this team should run, hell, even sprint, to the mound. Hustle, that’s what it’s all about, guys. Don’t give me that look, rookie.

Youkilis: No, no, I’m sorry, it’s just funny.

Francona: Haha, guess what Youk. I lit a dead skunk on fire in your locker and sent those hookers I kept locked up in the managers office to your house.

Youkilis: Crap, my wife is coming home tonight.

Millar: Why’d you have to pull Wells so early, Tito? The fried chicken platter is practically gone by now.

Francona: Um, he looked as uncomfortable as Keanu Reeves trying to make a formal speech.

Millar: That was too easy.

Francona: He was giving up more runs than Paul Wilson in a typical first inning.

Millar: You mean Kevin Brown.

Francona: He’s gaining more pounds than Renee Zellweger for a Bridget Jones flick.

Millar: Haha, he said the word “flick.”

Varitek: GUYS! Can we focus please. The Yankees are getting hot just as we’re beginning to stink up the joint. This Oakland team has a payroll that wouldn’t even suit a homeless person, and we’re losing 9-1. WHAT IS THIS? If we don’t get together soon, we’re gonna find ourselves sitting on a futon in October.

Millar: You know what this means, it’s time to Cowboy Up!

Varitek: You guys suck.

Renteria: Hey guys, what are ya talkin about?

Bellhorn: Speaking of suck…

Motor City Meltdown

2005-05-18T23:58:00.000-04:00

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Things are not going too swimmingly in Red Sox Nation. Currently as I type this sentence, I’m electrocuting my nipples and frantically banging my head against the desk. The hellish, devil-spirited, freakin Yankees are in first place, and the Red Sox have stooped as low as tying the Orioles for second. Last night was the biggest roller coaster ride of the season, and I’m not just talking about the Sox game. Things started off well, but Kazmir settled in, and after I had passed out numerous times, the Sox were down 3-1 late in the game. After Lou’s brigade, I woke up and began to pray to my Bill Mueller statue. Didn’t work. Sox lost, and Damon’s hitting streak was snapped.

But the night wasn’t over. The Yankees were up 9-5, but a nice two run rally gave the Rangers hope at 9-7 in the sixth. The next batter hits a routine popup to Bernie in center, and my friends and I let out a collective groan in disgust. There goes the rally, and Rivera is already pacing around in the bullpen. But, Bernie drops the ball, and the Rangers tie it at nine. The place went crazy. We were laughing, pointing, jumping, dancing, starting random Yankees Suck chants and putting up Yankees Choke posters outside of my house. After a Soriano single, it was 10-9 Rangers and life was good again.

Thanks to Extra Innings, we also followed the Orioles-Twins game. We watched BJ Ryan blow a save and the Twins tied it at two in the ninth. Sweet, maybe the Sox will remain in first after all. But then the night went downhill, starting with the Orioles winning the game on a Tejada homerun, then Sierra doubling in two as the Yankees took a 11-10 lead. We were on our hands and knees, hoping, praying for a Rangers miracle, but the damn Rivera is just too good. Night ruined.

To make matters worse, it looks like the Orioles have won the AJ Burnett Sweepstakes. They add a nice starter to complement Bedard, Lopez, Chen and whoever else kills the Red Sox every time we meet.

This is a really big game tonight, with Boomer taking the hill against former Sock Casey Fossum. Let’s shake this off and keep the faith. The Sox will be in first place when the night ends.

Career Drainage

2005-05-16T17:38:00.000-04:00

(JS Online Photo)

Jason Giambi stepped out of the batters box on a cold, rainy night at Yankee Stadium. He saw Monument Park, a glorious memorial to commemorate past Yankee greats. Someday Jason knew he was destined to have his name etched in marble and placed out in that park, he knew it was only a matter of time. He stared back at the Twins pitcher, then took a long, hard look at the right field bleachers. He eyed the remaining fans, the few that stuck around through rain delays and extra innings, and guaranteed to himself he would send them home happy. He was confident, cocky, ready to deliver…

This was May 17, 2002. The next pitch turned out to be the high point of Giambi’s experience as a Yankee, a towering grand slam walk-off homerun after being down three runs in the top of inning number 14. Time to jump around at home plate, high-five your teammates, tip your helmet to the fans of New York City, the greatest place on Earth. Nothing could stop Jason at that point, because nobody knew his real secret. Nobody knew anything.

There was some suspicion, but nothing worth arguing about. The headmasters that run this fine sport of ours kept it secret for long enough, why not keep this steroid situation private for another 10-15 years, just the right amount of time for another group of coddled, spoiled, rich superstars to move on. When Jason Giambi steps out of the batters box at Yankee Stadium this season, he doesn’t get the encouragement or cheering he got way back in 2002. Instead, Giambi has become used to the booing, the hissing, the cat-calling, anything else that links him to his exposed secret. He’s the goat, the poster child of a scandal that will undoubtedly taint the game of baseball forever.

In October of 2003, Jason Giambi got to experience his first World Series. Nothing could bring him down now, not after hitting two solo homeruns in Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS to help keep the Yankees in the game, beating the Red Sox on an eighth inning rally, and keeping the curse alive for another season. They ended up losing the World Series, and Jason Giambi lost all of 2004. After a newspaper report in the San Francisco Chronicle that explained how Giambi testified in front of a federal grand jury was released, the buzz throughout baseball was unlike one ever heard before. The article exposed Giambi as a player that admitted he used “performance-enhancing drugs” to make himself a better baseball player, a fake player, if you will. Maybe the real reason he won the MVP in 2001, he hit that grand slam against the Twins, the solos against the Red Sox, and any other homerun in his illustrious career may have been helped by the steroids.

Immediately, the innocent and boyish Giambi stared in front of the cameras and choked on his own tongue. He first refused to talk to the media, all of this going on while hitting around .200 and not making the Yankees postseason roster in 2004. It’s really quite scary when you look at the situation- in 2002 when the Yankees grabbed Giambi for an enormous contract, you could just see the glow in his eyes when he held up that jersey, the same jersey so many baseball greats had the privilege of wearing. He smiled at the flashing cameras, shook hands with his new manager and owner, and immediately grabbed the hearts of New York Yankee fans. In early 2005, he held a press conference, telling all baseball fans that he was “sorry” for everything that he’s done. He wouldn’t get into any specifics, like his steroid pal Mark McGwire up on Capitol Hill. All he said was “I’m sorry.”

On this day, he seemed stunned with himself and stunned that everyone was treating him this way. All he wanted to do was play the game he loved, stare out onto those right field bleachers once again and hear the approval of the fans as they watched another hero show his talent. He blushed, fought back some tears, all while hoping for this day to come to an end. He just wanted to start over, it was easy to tell. Maybe he never realized what he was actually doing. He was cheating, cheating at the expense of opposing teams, players and baseball fans everywhere. And he knew it.

Looking back, it’s hard to believe one individual could come so far to accomplish his goal of being a star in professional baseball, only to see it all slip away so quickly. Once that report was leaked, he knew his career might never be the same. It’s worse, his career is practically over. There was rumor he would be sent down to the minors last week, then he was doused with a beer cup at the Yankees-A’s game two nights ago. You could describe the fall of Giambi as a dive down Niagara Falls, a spiraling hurdle from the top to the bottom. Cheating will do that to you.

Ode To Head Dirty Dawg

2005-05-15T14:01:00.000-04:00

Dear Mr. Christopher Nixon,

You’ve been there in the clutch. You’ve been there during the ups, and you’ve certainly been there for the downs. You’ve been there when the team had come so close once again, and you’ve been there on the brinks of a World Series sweep. You were the one that spilled the water cooler in the Red Sox dugout after Booney’s home run. You were also the one that delivered three doubles in Game 4 of the Series. As a Sox follower, it gives me no greater pleasure to see you succeed.

Calling out A-Rod this winter was classic. Dynamite. Splendid. Perfect time, perfect quote, really sums up the guy very well, I must say. You and Tek are the original Dirt Dogs, the guys that are on the top step of the dugout when Blaine Neal gives up another grand slam, or on the top step when Edgar Renteria chokes with a runner in scoring position. When you cremated that Putz fastball last night, the joy spread around the Nation.

As a whole, we’d live to give you thanks for your competitiveness, heroism (yes, you read that correctly) and constant energy you bring to the team. You are the face of the franchise in many ways- starting with the dog poop helmet and ending with the crap we always seem to find on your baseball pants. Hustle is what you’re all about. You’re a gamer, Trot.

I probably would be cursing your ass off if you’d struck out in that situation last night, I’m not gonna lie. But things turned out for the better, and you gave us a needed victory. The Yanks are hot, but who cares. We know who will be there in the end, Trot. So whatever happens this season, we all know you’ll be trotting near Pesky’s Pole for years to come.

Right?

Sincerely,
Red Sox Nation

Stick With Foulkey

2005-05-13T21:42:00.000-04:00

Nobody in the Red Sox organization, nor their fans or supporters, should even possibly consider moving Keith Foulke out of the closers role. Not only is he one of the most proven and established closers in baseball, but the guy freakin led us to a World Series title last season. He’s hit a small bump in the road, it happens with every closer. Everyone needs to put the shot glass down and think about this logically. Think about how much he’s done for this team last year and even the tough saves this season, especially the ones in Detroit with one-run games. Timlin and Embree have been good, but Foulke should be the closer all season long.

Falling For The Diva

2005-05-12T19:41:00.000-04:00

(Getty Images Photo)

Alright, I’ll admit it. I miss Pedro.

I miss the quirky, fun, tactics he’d put on in the dugout. I miss the high-fiving, pointing and bobble heading. I miss looking at the schedule and knowing we’re going to win almost every single Pedro start. I miss his grimacing look as he steps out of the dugout to the approval of the fans, the fans who used to leave their seats to get a Fenway Frank when the Red Sox were batting, just so they wouldn’t miss one masterful pitch. I miss the strikeouts and the leg kick and the way he was always so calm and smooth.

Do I disagree with Theo when he didn’t sign Pedro? No. It was the right move, no doubt. Not only is he grossly overpaid by the Mets, but the Sox countered with Matt Clement, Wade Miller and David Wells, all for the same amount of money. This year, Pedro might win the Cy Young. But there’s no way I give him that kind of money at his age, with his velocity slowly but surely decreasing and arm problems beginning to unfold. But I miss him so much in a Red Sox uniform. After Game 5 of the 1999 ALDS, I never, ever, in my wildest dreams, thought Pedro would wear a different teams uniform again. Those magical seasons were unbelievable, but these last few weeks, I’ve been wishing he was still a Red Sock.

I miss the weird hair curls and the head shaking with Manny. I miss him and Schilling going back-to-back. I miss the Fenway crowd rising to its feet before every Pedro two-strike pitch, wanting, hoping, knowing it will be a K. The WEEI signs in center field, displaying every strikeout. Just watch Game 3 of the World Series sometime, you’ll see what I mean.

Why am I bringing this up now? I’ve just been thinking about it. Just spilling my thoughts on paper here. What I don’t miss is the constant whining and complaining. What I don’t miss is the loathing for New York, the smile in his eye whenever someone mentions the city or his next scheduled start there. You could almost tell he had one foot out the door. I don’t miss him walking out early on games, not showing up for team meetings, and the public exploding whenever the management and Pedro didn’t get along. I don’t miss the agent, I don’t miss the selfishness, but I do miss the pitcher. I’m willing to take in all the negatives for the positives.

I miss Pedro. I think you get the point.

Gravy And Biscuits

2005-05-10T22:44:00.000-04:00

The guy battles, the guy works hard, the guy continues to believe and believe and the guy eventually will deliver. That guy is Kevin Millar. The heart of Red Sox Nation, the leader of Cowboy Up and the Idiots, the man who almost lost his lunch looking at Manny’s hair the first day of spring training. He did not give up. He did not let up. Even though we doubted him, he knew the big home runs would come. Tonight, the dramatics were at an all-time 2005 high as Edgah, Jay, Wade, Mantei and all the newcomers got to experience their first walk-off at Fenway Park.

And it was ironic that is was Kevin who hit the big home run. For many reasons. First of all, he decided to play the role of Captain Train Wreck at first base, making two errors and costing Bronson of a 5-0 record. The second error came on such a easy play as stepping on first base. Maybe he was surprised Bronson threw the ball to first? Who knows what’s going through his head. Bottom line: He screwed up big time. It’s not that he made up for his bonehead plays, he made us completely forget. Time to jump around, party, flip some beer kegs around and take a stroll down near the Hahhbaah. Red Sox baseball at its best.

The story of Kevin Millar this season is really quite simple. He’s the streakiest player to put on a Red Sox uniform in a really long time, and this year is some more of the same flavor. He can go months hitting around the Mendoza Line, strutting his way through the clubhouse, lightening up the players, helping his teammates, continuing to keep that “improved” work ethic and whatever superstitious crap he might come up with. Then he can go months hitting over .300, but he still helps his teammates, jokes around, eating his KFC, doing the same stuff he’d do if he were struggling.

He’s such a great character and great guy, you just know he’ll come around for your team. As he said before Game 4, “this is how we like it, down and out, and then POW! Sox Nation takes over!” Down and out and then POW! Kevin Millahhhh takes over. Walk-off. Sox win.

Doubleheader Dandy

2005-05-08T14:58:00.000-04:00

(AP Photo/Winslow Townson)

Thoughts after Game 1:

Like the game yesterday, very calm, relaxing, just an easy victory. I was leaning back in my seat the entire game, and that rarely ever happens. The team is really coming together now. Winners of four straight, six of seven, our fill-in starters getting the job done, Millah finally delivering. Most of all, I just love the way they came out and dominated this game from the first pitch to the last. Like Friday, they got an early lead and never gave it up, the pitcher stayed steady throughout, and the bullpen didn't allow anything. I've never seen Mike Timlin look so sharp, and now Ordinary Foulke is back to Extraordinary Foulke.

Other news:

- Wade Miller will make his first start in a Red Sox uniform tonight, facing Ryan Franklin in the second game. If he gets knocked around, which I actually expect will happen, everyone has to understand this is his first time pitching on a big league mound in almost a year. He's battled freak injuries to get here, and the Mariners will come out hungry, not wanting to get swept. Look for Miller to struggle early, but continually improve as the season goes on.

- Nomar's rehab will be pushed forward a month almost ending his season. The Cubs look pathetic anyway, so I don't think he'll be rushing back to get in any sort of pennant race. The tear is worse than anticipated. As for Pedro, he gave up five earned at the Crew last night, but earned the victory. Pokey is coming back from the DL soon for the Mariners, and I really, REALLY miss Orlando Cabrera.

- The Sox sent down Blaine Neal today. Too bad it was about two weeks late.

Celtics thoughts:

Worst game of the season last night. Just a horrible display of basketball. Every possession it was one guy dribbling around with the ball, the other four guys standing around, then nobody boxing out for offensive rebounds. Pathetic. They had absolutely no ball movement, the team looked like they've never seen each other before, and sometimes I wonder what Doc is thinking on certain substitutions. Congrats to the Pacers, though, they battled and fought with a ton of heart all the way through. Overall, the Celtics did pass expectations this season, all the young guys got convincingly better and the team is on the rise.

Rampage

2005-05-07T13:49:00.000-04:00

(AP Photo/Michael Dwyer)

Matt Clement and Bronson Arroyo are both 4-0. Obviously, Arroyo’s been much more impressive posting his record, and Clement usually gets a lot more run support. The bottom line: When these guys take the hill for the Red Sox, the team doesn’t lose. Whether it’s delivering with a clutch RBI double in the ninth or putting up an onslaught of runs early, it seems like the team really gets it done with these guys on the hill. Yesterday was another great example- some early runs, Papi crushing a Moyer fastball, Mueller finally having a big game- the pieces were all there. Out of every game this season, that was one of the most satisfying.

Was it the most exciting? Not exactly. But, I’ll take it any day of the week. The Sox do have some things to worry about in the near future, including Johnny Damon’s leg and Edgar Renteria’s finger. They’ve already got Schill and Wells on the shelf. Millar is down near .240 with no homers, and it’s beside me why he’s still hitting in the 5-hole. Why not move Tek up a slot? He’ll probably hit .320 with 20 homers after the break, but right now he does not look comfortable at the plate.

The team is running on all cylinders. As I mentioned before, we have our aces. The team has won four straight. Even Vasquez is getting the occasional hit, along with Payton. I really like what I’m seeing out of the Sox, and hopefully we can keep this going for a while.

As for the Yanks, OUCH. This team is a complete and total mess. All their pitching is old and injured, the bullpen blows every game they enter and the defense laid a massive egg last night. Jeter, Tino and A-Rod all screwed up on groundballs. Just a complete mental breakdown from the richest team in baseball, a team that should be running away from the pack right now and simply dominating. It’s falling apart for them, and I’m loving every single second of it. The best part? Seeing the Frozen Cashman Face once again.

Possibly Gonzo tonight if they can get the game in. Oh and by the way, GO CELTICS!

It's Halama Time

2005-05-04T16:48:00.000-04:00

(AP Photo/Paul Sancya)

Didn’t see the game last night, but there are some things in the box score that stuck out in my mind. First off, Renteria continues to press, committing two errors. If there was a tenth spot in the order, he’d probably be hitting there right now. Millar goes hitless once again, and with Mirabelli delivering a Salami sandwich, the Big Show guys on WEEI are already talking about the possibility of moving him to first base against lefties. I don’t see that idea so far-fetched.

Adding to that, Halamamamama brought out his balls of steel in a spot start and was great. We got past the Gonzalez-Halama experience with a split, something I definitely hoped for on the road against a solid Detroit team. Now we get Wake, Arroyo and Clement (actually in the opening day rotation) the next three days. I guess anything is better than being the Yankees right now and Kevin Brown, who got his ass handed to him by the Devil Rays last night. He gave up eight earned, a boatload of hits and prompted Mel and Torre to vomit all over the mound. Robinson Cano and Some Guy Named Haan were called up today. Fun time to be a Yankee fan.

As I didn’t see the game last night due to those friggin Celtics, I’ve decided to look at two big moves Theo made in the off season and see what has transpired so far this season:

Shortstop:

Addition: Edgar Renteria: .238, 2 HR, 9 RBI, .298 OBP, .352 SLG, .947 Fielding, $8 million
Subtraction: Orlando Cabrera: .253, 3 HR, 9 RBI, .321 OBP, .410 SLG, .985 Fielding, $6 million

This is looking like Theo’s worst decision in the off season. You’ve got a star and an outspoken team leader in the palm of your hands, a guy who loved his stay in Boston, played a massive role in your championship run, but you let him slip away. They instead pursue Edgar Renteria for more money, and they’re getting much less than the amount the Red Sox owe him this season. He’s behind in almost every offensive and defensive category to Cabrera. He’s one of the worst statistical players on the team with runners in scoring position. Sure, I’ll give him some more time, but right now it looks as if Cabrera was the better choice.

#2 and #3 Pitchers:

Additions: David Wells and Matt Clement (combined): 5-3, 8.91 ERA, 55.1 IP, 78 H, 32 ER, $10.5 million
Subtractions: Pedro Martinez and Derek Lowe (combined): 5-3, 4.47 ERA, 84.1 IP, 57 H, 21 ER, $17.8 million

It’s really amazing when you look at those numbers. Not only is Wells on the shelf, but Pedro and Lowe combined have given up 19 less hits in almost 30 more innings than Clement and Wells, including an ERA more than four total points less. But it’s not all about statistics, and we all knew the Red Sox could not sign both of those guys for that amount of money. Lowe’s ERA is extremely small compared to his lifetime showing with the Red Sox, and Theo was not ready to hand over 44 million to Pedro over four full seasons. Overall, Pedro and Lowe are much better pitchers, but Clement and Wells will be just fine in Boston.

And breaking news as I finish this article: Wade Miller looks to start Sunday!

Eight Things I Learned This Weekend

2005-05-02T18:02:00.000-04:00

Busy weekend, so I unfortunately lost my record of 48 straight days with a post. Maybe it’s good luck after all. The Sox, currently treading water without the help of Boomer and Schill, went into Texas and took the last two. Sure, we avoided another Foulke collapse, Billy M having to play second base and no Tito and his Big Wad of Chew, but they survived. The offense has to keep putting up these runs with Jeremi Gonzalez and John Halama pitching the next two days. This might get ugly, folks.

Eight things I learned this weekend…

1. Everyone needs to be patient with Keith Foulke. This season has been a roller coaster ride for every Red Sox fan once this man shows his face out of the bullpen, it’s like you already know this is going to get interesting. That’s just the type of closer he is, I guess. If his curve and change are dropping, running in on hitters and moving all over the zone, nobody can touch him. But he tends to go on these streaks, making games interesting, just holding on, or sometimes even blowing it altogether. Well, Keith, it needs to stop right now. Seriously, enough with the drama. I can see May being an outstanding month for Extraordinary Foulke.

2. Kevin Youkilis is the real deal. Just watching him rip pitch after pitch on Saturday night gave me the willies. A team this rich, with tons of money to spend on high-quality players, could have taken the high road (like the Yankees) and screwed over their farm system. But no, Theo and Company are looking at top prospects such as Hanley Ramirez, .413 hitting Kelly Shoppach and much more out of steaming hot AA Portland for the future. Youk is just the first. This guy has an outstanding eye at the plate and when he gets a good pitch- BAM! Maybe playing Billy over at second for the long term is not such a bad idea.

3. The biggest surprise of April is Johnny Damon’s bat. Through all of his book signing and tours around the world, honeymoons, marriages and appearances in People magazine, I figured he’d enter the season on a downward angle. Sort of stoned from all this attention and fame. The lesson always: I’m an idiot (get it, ha). Johnny comes into this series with Detroit hitting a blistering .356, 16 ribbies and his first homer on Saturday night, part of a back-to-back job with Mr. Trot. He’s scored 17 runs, stole four bases, and is really, REALLY helping my fantasy team. Definitely the Red Sox MVP in April.

4. The signing of John Olerud is a threat to Kevin Millar. It’s been an interesting five months for Kevin Millar. Following the Jack Daniels incident and the possibility of the Sox brass choosing Dougy over him to play first base, Millah dug in deep and got in the best shape of his life. He was quoted on MLB.com as saying he “does pushups just to keep the night going by.” He gets the job, manages to hit the same amount of home runs for the Red Sox as me in April, and now learns that a healthy John Olerud may take his place at first base. Do I think Olerud will be any more than a backup? No. But, if Millar doesn’t start driving in some runs and continues to put up 0 for 10 slumps, he better watch his back.

5. Matt Clement needs to develop some control. That’s the bottom line with this guy: When Matt Clement throws the ball over the plate, he’s practically untouchable. His sinker is impossible to make contact with when located properly. In the first couple innings vs. Texas on Sunday, Clement walked a grand total of five batters and got out of huge jams both times, only surrendering two runs. In the latter innings, his control was there and the Rangers looked clueless. Once this guy develops consistent control, I’m ready to call him the #2 starter.

6. Bronson Arroyo is always improving. Even with his funky delivery and dork-type attitude, Bronson Arroyo knows how to pitch. If you think about it, he’s improved from the minute he arrived in Boston. He started off the sixth or seventh starter coming over in a trade, just barely making the roster and primarily used in junk games. Then, he became the fifth starter and gradually got better as the year dragged along. After Game 3 against the Angels, everyone had a clear faith in this kid for years to come. That faith is now at an all-time high. He has turned into a dependable and reliable starter for this club.

7. The Yankees are in all sorts of trouble. I know, it’s barely May, and of course they’ll turn it around. But there are so many gaping holes in this roster, I can’t believe this team has a 200 million dollar payroll. Paul Quantrill and Tom Gordon blow game after game while Mariano Rivera is practically rotting in the bullpen. Actually, yesterday it was Stanton who rolled over. Kevin Brown is washed up. Jaret Wright is a surgery waiting to happen. Posada, Giambi and even Matsui continue to struggle mightily. I’m not saying this as a belligerent Red Sox fan who despises the Yankees, I’m saying this as a baseball fan. I guess George will just have to reach into his wallet even further, but even that hasn’t worked recently.

8. Peter Gammons and I both agree that Miguel Tejada is the MVP (hey, it rhymes).

Peter Gammons article (ESPN.com, May 1):

There are several factors that have gone into the Orioles' best start since they held down first place for the entire season in 1997, not to mention proving that this is the best home for Sammy Sosa.

Baltimore's offense leads the majors in runs scored, mainly because the top third of its order is unrivaled: Brian Roberts (.465 on-base percentage, 1.182 OPS and eight home runs), Melvin Mora (.376 OBP and .952 OPS) and Miguel Tejada (.417 OBP, 1.154 OPS and nine homers). Pitching coach Ray Miller has done a marvelous job teaching the art of changing speeds to Erik Bedard, Rodrigo Lopez and Bruce Chen, while young right-hander Daniel Cabrera continues to learn. The O's bullpen has stopped the bleeding, with closer B.J. Ryan (21 strikeouts in 12 2/3 innings pitched), Jorge Julio (one earned run allowed in 12 2/3 innings pitched) and the surprising Todd Williams (one earned run allowed in 12 innings pitched).

But the players point to one man as the main reason for the club's turnaround. "There's no doubt in my mind that Miggy [Tejada] is the best player in the game," Roberts says. "Start with his position. He's by far the best at a [the] middle-infield skill position. Then, if you watched us every day, you'd see [Tejada's] RBI are not a fluke. He has an uncanny ability to knock in runs.
Then, most of all, there's his energy. He is always up, pushing everyone and making the entire team better."

"I've never been around anyone like him," B.J. Surhoff says of Tejada.

"I played with Pete Rose and coached Kirby Puckett," Orioles hitting coach Terry Crowley says, "and Miggy is just like them. He is the best player in the game, hands-down. Like Rose and Puckett, he puts it out there every day, and they are those rare players off whom teammates feed. You can crunch every number you want, you can't put a premium on the energy one player can bring to an entire team. This franchise changed the day he arrived."

Adds a Red Sox official: "We watched him from the stands during BP. And we could not believe his energy, his enthusiasm, and how teammates feed off him. He is special."

Not to mention durable. "If some kid comes to the park to see me," Tejada says, "I had better be on the field." In the last five years (2001-2005, as of May 1), Tejada had played in 548 games, most of any player, and his 500 RBI rank third behind Albert Pujols' 504 and Alex Rodriguez's 501.

My April Awards (Red Sox in italics):
MVP: Miguel Tejada, Orioles Johnny Damon
AL Cy Young: Jon Garland, White Sox Tim Wakefield
NL Cy Young: Roger Clemens, Astros
Most Improved: Jamie Moyer, Mariners Bronson Arroyo
Disappointment: Barry Zito, A’s Edgar Renteria

Hitting The Panic Button

2005-04-29T23:08:00.000-04:00

Another night, another Sox loss. 24 more hours to weep and cry and moan and bitch about the daily crap this team displays on the baseball field. Totally lackluster and non-interested effort tonight, I can’t believe we’re seeing such poor baseball out of a team made up of 125 million dollars. Theo might have to get up off the recliner and make a move soon. Why are balls falling between Damon and Manny in center? Why are so many of Wake’s knuckleballs high in the zone? Start playing smart and win some friggin games.

Some new Red Sox stuff that just hit the market:

Edgar Renteria 0 for 4 Action Figure: It’s all under your control with the Edgar Renteria 0 for 4 action figure! Do you want Edgar to strike out four times tonight, then go ahead! Or would you prefer two flyouts to center and a couple weak grounders? Any way you want Edgar to go 0 for 4, he goes 0 for 4! Just rotate the scroll under the base of the figure to choose how he should get out tonight. We also just added a new feature: the Orlando Cabrera 3 for 4 action figure!

Terry Gets Tossed: The newest computer game from Red Sox, Inc. features Terry Francona getting thrown out of the game, followed by you trying to fire up the team in any sort of way possible. It’s a bad night in Baltimore, with the Sox down 6-2 in the eighth, when Francona sprints out of the dugout and purposely gets ejected just to pump up the team. Now, it’s all up to you. The levels:

Rookie: Someone moves in the dugout.
Veteran: Someone claps in the dugout.
All-Star: The batboy runs out to retrieve the broke bat.
MVP: Manny considers hugging someone, then decides against it because that doesn’t fly with Mr. Henry.
Hall of Fame: Dave Wallace bitch-slaps Matt Mantei.

Millah Does His Best Knoblauch Impression: Just released! Have Bill Mueller throw a gun to first base, where Kevin Millar catches the ball, then inevitably chucks it into the stands throwing back to third! How high you throw the ball into the stands determines your point total. If you tally up your errors in one game, and beat Kevin Millar’s total for the season, you win! (It’s never been done).

Manny And Papi Go Yard: This is, by far, the trickiest game out there. Here’s the deal: You have to hit one home run with either Manny or Ortiz. Easy, right? Well, here’s the trick. Just like in every Red Sox game this season, you can’t get any more hits (single, double) with either of them! Just a home run, then you have to get out every other at-bat. Tough rules, I know, but this is what our company felt best imitated the players. A home run, that’s all, any other type of hit is UNACCEPTABLE.

Time For Dinner, Boomer: Have David Wells consume a life-threatening amount of donuts in under a minute, and keep lowering his ERA in the process. If Boomer eats over 300 donuts in under a minute, his ERA is lowered to an obscure 10.20! If Boomer eats over 500 donuts in under a minute, his ERA might reach LOWER THAN EIGHT! Plus, at the end, we scan Boomer’s body and see how many donuts are clogged inside his lungs. Always fun.

Schill Speaks His Mind: This talking doll replica of Curt Schilling comes with a small speaker near his mouth area just for you to hear everything he wants to say, at any time. Want to hear Schill’s opinion on man-hands and KFC chicken? Just ask, and he’ll give you a 30-minute lecture on the subject, complete with him using the word “idiot” at least eight times. Want to hear Schill’s opinion on Brad Mills’ front teeth? All ya gotta do is ask. Complete with bloody ankle.

I’m. Not. Happy.

Nightmare For The Nation

2005-04-27T17:47:00.000-04:00

A collapse worth shrugging off and pretending never happened. The bullpen imploding worse than Mount Vesuvius. Clement giving up hit after hit after hit in a game that easily should have been his. I mean, at least Renteria is putting up outstanding numbers, and we are all confident that he’s the guy that will eventually carry this team. And at least Kevin Millar is on a roll, hitting home run after home run and playing outstanding defense. And at least Mark Bellhorn doesn’t look COMPLETELY lost at the plate. I will now slowly remove the gun from my head.

David Wells on the shelf. Just what we need. You look at Boomer’s diameter and already know he’s a slow recovery, but now Gammons and Company are saying he might be out for over a month. There’s no way this team would actually stay healthy for an entire month, that’s an unreachable possibility. We sign this guy for consistency, knowing he’ll keep us in the game, to always control the strike zone, and most of all, give us an average to quality start every time around. With our offense, I’ll take that. But our bullpen is cow dung. And now Wells is hurt for longer than expected.

Our number one and two starters: gone. Now, our ace is a career .500 pitcher who just last night gave up 12 (count em, 12) hits in less than five innings. Splenderific. Theo says the bruise on his ankle has nothing to do with his previous ankle injury, and the team doctors are claiming they caught this injury really early before anything worse happened. What’s that supposed to mean, that if they had discovered this two weeks from now, he’d be on the shelf even longer? We need these guys so the Sox don’t find themselves eight games back of first in mid-May. Our ace, hero and team leader is injured again.

You knew it had to happen sometime. We’re finally back to panic mode in Red Sox Nation.

Ramble On

2005-04-26T17:38:00.000-04:00

There’s a different feel to this season. Instead of throwing chairs and banging my head repeatedly on the desk after every loss, I’m more calm and I just shake it off. Yeah, it has something to do with getting an 86-year old monkey of your back, knowing your favorite team isn’t destined to choke every October, and realizing that these April games really don’t mean that much. I may be still basking in the glow of the World Series, but I’m trying, and I swear I AM trying, to break out of that habit. As the season has progressed, here are some odds and ends I’ve noticed out of the 2005 Sox:

I can’t expect much from Edgar Renteria in clutch situations. Sure, he was one of the only bright spots for the Cardinals in last years World Series, but this year he’s repeatedly choked in pressure-packed situations. This is evident not only by his crappy average, but most of his hits have come either A) early in the game or B) with no runners on base. Last night, the Sox were creeping back into the game at 6-3 in the seventh inning. Chen had walked Vazquez to lead off the inning, then Damon singled to center. First off, Renteria shouldn’t be in the two hole anymore vs. righties or lefties, he should be six or seven until he starts delivering consistently. But, Edgar then grounds into the double play and the inning is killed. Game over right there. He’s a phenomenal defensive player, and I still do believe he’s an upgrade from Cabrera, but it’s time to stop pressing.

As for Alan Embree, it’s pretty much Jekyll and Hyde with him all season. One night he gives up a walk-off homer on the first pitch, the next he strikes out four of the five hitters he faced. Unbelievable. This is why Mike Timlin, who is not getting nearly enough appearances this season, should ultimately carry the load as the setup man. Embree is fine in certain situations, but you have to be ready for both sides: the overpowering flamethrower and the meat server. Big, juicy meat that hitter send into a new galaxy.

Johnny Damon has to be the MVP of this team so far. The guy is firing red hot. Seriously, there’s lava pouring out of his jersey right now. Seven hits in his last two games, I think it is. He gets on base, delivers in clutch situations, and is really what a leadoff hitter should represent in the big leagues. I know, one day I’m bashing out of him for a sluggish game, but he always rebounds and makes me look even more like an idiot. This is his prime. Keep it up.

Manny and Ortiz continue their rampage of home runs, but those guys are not getting on base enough. Who knows, maybe if they single and double more often, and Tito slips Renteria in the 5-hole, he can have more opportunities to drive in runs and boost his confidence. It’s either an 0-4 night or a couple dingers for these guys, and we can’t keep winning games like this. Their averages are both looming around .250, something that can’t happen for guys that are supposed to be leading this team to the promised land once again.

Celtics: Ouch. Where is Al Jefferson all second half? Doc screwed up way too many times. The little things killed them, just as in every single other loss. Bad coaching, cold streaks at the end, an all around choke job by the Celtics.

Don't. Mess. With. Papi.

2005-04-24T22:02:00.000-04:00

Just Red Sox- Devil Rays, huh? Just an old-fashioned, relaxed AL East game at the Trop, right? It doesn’t mean much, just a series-ending meeting with the Rays down in Tampa, correct? Not so fast my friend.

Following two games of more than a fair share of behind-the-back fastballs, curves that hang near the batters head and a bit of tension between the clubs, things finally escalate. First, Arroyo nails Huff in the fifth inning, something that I believe was partially intentional because Huff destroys Bronson on a consistent basis. Then Carter goes behind Manny, who promptly answer with a blast to the left field bleachers. As Francona was arguing with the umpires after the previous pitch, you could just see Manny smiling at the side, plotting his way to get back. It would not have surprised me one bit if he walked up to Tito, whispered “I got this, partner,” followed by Tito frantically sprinting to the dugout to get a good photo. Good stuff.

Next batter, Carter goes over the head of Ortiz. I wouldn’t have much a problem if the pitch nailed him anywhere below the belt, but this was a dangerous ball right up near the eyes. This was obviously intentional and uncalled for in a baseball game, risking a guy’s career like that. I may be coddling my Papi, but Carter needs to go hibernate somewhere, the bastard. Eventually, there’s a nine minute delay as the benches clear and Trot gets naughty with Dewon Brazelton, who is still heated from walking every batter he’s ever faced. All in all, Francona, Piniella, Arroyo, Brazelton, Nixon and Carter got the hook.

As for the game, wow. Massive offensive outburst, highlighted by a gigantic blast by Ortiz to make it 11-1, a ball that supposedly met the catwalk near the upteenth deck. Payton finally delivered with the bases juiced with a salami, the aforementioned Manny homered, and Millar, Renteria and Damon all had solid games. And most of all, nobody, and I mean NOBODY, can beat Cornroyo.

The Sox now go home for a three-game set with the Orioles with mostly the same pitching matchups. We get Boomah on Monday vs. Chen (I’ll probably have another Boomer Thoughts installment), Cy Young Clementine vs. Lopez on Tuesday, and Wake vs. Whoever on Wednesday. Then the Sox travel to Texas for a little West action. Keep it goin, fellas.